


Leap Of Faith

by Cherrys_Criminal_Mind



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:35:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 53,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28266981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrys_Criminal_Mind/pseuds/Cherrys_Criminal_Mind
Summary: Spencer didn't know what bought him to that particular spot on this particular night, but if he'd believed in fate he would have said it was that. But now, how to convince the woman to step away from the edge of the bridge?
Relationships: Spencer Reid & Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay so you've read the story summary and still clicked to read which means you must be aware that this story is potentially triggery. I wrote this five years ago and it's actually a story that I'm very proud of and is very close to my heart. It has however received its criticisms, mostly from people who accused me of romanticising depression and suicide. I don't feel I've done that and I feel that if people actually read to the end of the story, they'll realise that I've tried to the opposite. Alot of this characters thoughts and feelings have been my own at one stage or another which is why this story is somewhat personal. If you chose to read on, I hope you do enjoy it. It has had a lot of positive reactions too. Many people on my tumblr have told me that it's helped them through a tough time. 

... 

Spencer didn’t know what taken him to this particular spot on this particular night. But if he actually believed in fate, he would have said it was that. The sort of fate which you can’t work out if you’re pleased for or that you’d curse the universe for sending your way.

He’d finished up at the library deciding to walk home through Catton Park instead of his usual route through Main Street and down Second. He’d stop by the old bridge he thought, he liked it there. It was peaceful and looking at the stars sometimes helped clear his head and he needed that tonight.

Bundled up against the cool air he made his way through the park, the fallen leaves crunching under his converse clad feet, enjoying the sound they made. It was 10pm so aside from the odd dog walker and late night jogger, the park was deserted.

Thinking back to the case that had taken up the past two weeks, he shuddered. The image of the two young girls that had been shot to death in front of him still so fresh in his brain. The two girls he’d tried to save but hadn’t been able to talk their captor down from his manic high, convince him that everything was going to be okay.  
Shots had been fired, his own aiming straight for the unsub once Spencer had seen him squeeze the trigger. But he’d been too late. And the unfortunate positioning of the girls had meant that the bullet had ripped right through the first girl and into the second, an unpleasant and unwanted reminder of an incident not too long in his own past.

Once he was certain the unsub was dead, Reid had rushed over to the second girl seeing that she was still breathing, blood gurgling from between her lips as she tried and failed to gasp in air, her eyes frightened and starting to glaze over as she’d grasped for Spencer’s hand, needing to feel human touch in her last few moments of life.

She’d died two minute later, Spencer’s hands covered in her warm scarlet blood as he begged for her to hold on for the ambulance. His supervisor SSA Aaron Hotchner had more or less needed to drag him away, realising afterwards that this had triggered the memory of that horrific incident. The paperwork finished, Hotch had insisted that Reid take a few personal days, perhaps contact his therapist.

Spencer had agreed to take the personal days, but had no intention of contacting his therapist. He’d get over it…. Well, he’d file it away to the back of his extensive mind along with the other cases that made him constantly question why he’d chosen the career path he had.

Chosen wasn’t exactly the correct word to use, he’d been groomed for the FBI from a young age, a visiting Agent had lectured during his time at cal-tech and had seen a certain quality to him. Once Spencer had accepted that the FBI was where he was going to end up, he’d been offered a choice of entry positions. However profiling had been the only thing he knew he’d be physically capable of. He could ace any psychological exam or test within an hour, but still struggled to this day to qualify for the physical tests required. Due to his skills though, he was often given a free pass through, something he was grateful for but at times also resented. If he was pushed that bit harder and forced to actually have to qualify for the physical exams then maybe he’d actually push himself harder and eventually end up on the same fitness levels as Morgan or Hotch. He doubted it though, sports and physical activity just wasn’t his thing, it never had been. Numbers and letters, linguistics and patterns; they were his thing, and they along with his true talent of being able to psychologically disarm someone rather than physically needing to take them down, were among the things that made him indispensable to the team.

Continuing his walk home he could see the old bridge approaching, but it didn’t look like he’d be alone in his stargazing tonight.

‘Damn it’ he thought to himself as he wriggled his hands inside his pockets trying to keep warm. Perhaps he’d just carry on home instead.

As he got closer he could see that the figure was a girl, her long auburn hair blowing in the cool breeze. He could hear sniffing, a light sobbing and it sounded like she was talking to herself.

It was only then that he realised she was on the other side of the bridge, her back to the railings, arms looped around the iron poles.

Shit.

Reid stopped, assessing the situation and not wanting to move any closer until he was sure on his course of action. Every few seconds she’d lean forward slightly, her grip loosening, and then she’d seem to lose her nerve and pressing herself back against the stone and metal barrier.

The water below wasn’t that deep, but it was freezing and the river was fairly deserted at this time of night. Due to the structure of the bridge, depending on the angle she fell at, she’d likely hit her head on the way down as well. There’s no doubt that if she went in she’d end up dead one way or another.

Spencer could see a suitcase and a bag leaning up against the side of the barrier along with a pair of high heeled shoes, presuming they were hers. She looked too well dressed and too neat to be homeless so he assumed she was travelling. But what had bought her here, what was so bad that it had her hanging off the side of a bridge in a deserted park at 10pm at night.

There was only one way for him to find out.


	2. Chapter 2

“I don’t want to startle you but……..”

Shit. The woman gripped the railings tighter, the voice cutting through the breeze and making her jump slightly. She regained her balance quickly, the cold metal feeling like it was burning her hands, she was gripping it so tightly.

Brilliant.

She was no longer alone. That was definitely going to make this harder than it already was.

Maybe if she ignored him, he’d just get bored and go away? Or maybe if she asked him politely he’d leave? People didn’t want to involve themselves with this right? Like, who really wanted to watch a 29 year old girl plunge to their death?

Although given what she’d read on the internet, there were a fair few sickos out there who would have.

Ugh.

She knew she should have gone for the pills instead. Or the razor. But that would have meant checking back into a hotel room and she’d be discovered pretty quickly. That was something she didn’t want. The river below looked fairly fast moving, and her hope was that she’d be swept away and that it would take a few days for her body to be recovered and matched up with the suitcase she was leaving behind.

She should have waited until later in the evening. It had seemed quiet, and she’d been stood here for the last two hours and he was only the second person that had come this way. The first had barely given her a glance, despite the crying. But then again, she had been on the other side of the railings at that point.

Oh why was this so hard?

“Um….. My name’s Spencer Reid. Listen…. Is there someone I can call? Someone who you need to talk to? You don’t have to do this.”

She glanced over to where the voice was coming from, seeing a tall gangly man with messy hair, a dirty brown colour. He was wrapped in a dark coat, an aubergine coloured scarf around his neck, the ends blowing in the wind. Looking back to the water she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She started to lean forward again slightly, the way she had been for the last twenty minutes. Hearing a rush she looked back up. The man had suddenly bolted towards her and was now only a few feet away.

“Don’t come any closer. Please,” she managed to choke out, sure that the wind would swallow her words whole.

“I won’t…. I promise. Just… Let’s talk okay. What’s your name? I’m Spencer,” he held his hands up in a gesture of surrender, as if to prove that he wasn’t going to move. His hair was longer than the average males and she could see him fighting to keep it out of his face, the same way she was.

“I don’t want to talk. Just…. Leave me alone. Please!”

“I can’t do that now…. I’m sorry but I’m here now. I can’t walk away. I’m involved.”

“You’re not involved at all. Just leave. Please. Pretend you were never here."

Spencer rubbed his hands together, blowing on them to keep them warm. It was freezing out tonight. She could barely feel her fingers now and her legs and feet were starting to feel numb too, the wind whipping through the thin material of her tights.

“I can’t pretend. I am here. And I’m not going to leave. Please just come over the railing. We can talk. We don’t have to go anywhere away from here. We don’t have to even talk about what ever it is that’s made you feel that jumping is the only way out….. We can talk about…. books or films, or colours. Or where you’re from. You’re British right?”

No shit…. She shook her head trying to shake the hair out of her eyes again.

“What good will talking about any of that do? Please just piss off and leave me alone.”

“You’re wearing a lot of purple and lilac, so I bet that’s your favourite colour right? Mine too. See…,” he tugged on the ends of his scarf. “Purple…. And the bag down there. Is that a Cheshire cat keyring attached to it? I’m guessing you’re an Alice fan?”

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’  
‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.  
‘I don’t much care where -’ said Alice.  
‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.  
’- so long as I get SOMEWHERE,’ Alice added as an explanation.  
‘Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough.”

The man read the quote verbatim without even seeming to need to think about it.

Impressive.

But she could quote that book too, and one line in particular seemed very fitting right now.

“If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.” She raised an eyebrows at him hoping he’d get the hint.

“So you are a fan then? You know the Dodo in the book is actually based on Lewis Carroll himself… Due to his stammer he used to introduce himself as 'Do-do-Dodgson….His stutter actually prevented him from his original career choice which was to become a priest, so he ended up becoming a mathematician and author instead.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t get the hint then?“ she stared at the man in wonderment.

“Oh I got your hint. But I’m not leaving….And I’m really hoping you’re not still planning on jumping because that water looks cold and I really wasn’t planning on getting wet tonight… Well, aside from a nice hot bath which I could really do with now. I’m freezing. And your lips are starting to turn blue,” he talked fast, his sentences streaming into each other.

“Why on earth would you have to get wet?” she was become frustrated now.

“Well if you jump, I kinda have to jump in afterwards and save you.”

“But I don’t want saving, that’s the point” she spoke through gritted teeth.

“And I don’t really want to plunge into a freezing cold river either, but it looks like neither of us will get the ending we wanted. You jump, I jump.” He inched closer and she looked at him sharply. He stopped, if he reached out now, he could touch her.

“Are we in a James Cameron movie or something? Look I really don’t need a Jack Dawson coming to save me. I’m not some poor little rich girl being forced into a marriage of convenience and last time I checked, we weren’t aboard a doomed ship.” This was starting to get ridiculous now.

“Titanic right? I can quote that too.”

For some reason, that didn’t surprise her. He moved forward again, oh so slightly.

“Just stay back okay. I’ll let go, I swear it.”

“No you won’t. You would have done it by now.” He grinned, “Told you I could quote it.”

What….. Just what? Why was this happening to her? 

The grin faded as quickly as it had appeared as he tried again.

“Please…. Just, come back over the railing. We could do this all night. I’m not going anywhere and I’m fairly certain you won’t jump with me here, because you’re not the sort of person who would jeopardise someone else’s safety for her own wants.”

“How do you even know what type of person I am? You don’t know me!” she scowled at him.

“You’re right. I don’t know you as a person, I don’t know exactly what is going through your mind right now. I wish I did. I wish I could tell you that everything is going to be okay and I wish I could take away whatever pain you’re experiencing that has made you think that you have no other way out. Can we please stop pretending that you’re actually going to go through with this though. We both know you won’t, not with me here. Come back over, let’s go and get a coffee and talk. It might help. At the end of it, we’ll go our separate ways again and you’ll be free to come back here if that’s what you still want to do.” He seemed to be getting desperate and she realised that he had a point. She wasn’t going to jump with him here. She wanted to do this alone and she would do this alone. And he didn’t seem willing to go anywhere. She could have a coffee with him, and then come back later. Yes, that’s what she’d do.

“Okay. Fine. Have it your way. But I’m coming back later. And you better not follow me.” She turned around carefully, struggling to hold on with now numb fingers.

Spencer moved closer ready to offer assistance, his hand reaching out and gripping the top of her shoulder as she carefully swung her leg back over.

Safely on the other side, she stood, smoothing down her dress and rubbing her hands together trying to get some feeling back into them, before bending and pulling her heels back on.

The man suddenly lunged forward, wrapping his arms around her in a hug ignoring the startled look on her face. She patted his back awkwardly, thinking how quickly the night had gone off track.

Pulling away he had a sheepish expression on his face. “Sorry,” he apologised. “I just had a really awful day at work yesterday and if you’d have jumped, you’d have pretty much killed my year. I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.”

“Yeah you said. Three times now.”

He looked at her expectantly.

Fine. “I’m Seph.”

“Steph?”

She’d expected that. It always happened. “Seph. Persephone.”

“Oh! As in Queen of the Underworld right. Daughter of Zeus and Demeter.” Not a question, but stated as a fact.

She nodded.

“Okay… So…. Erm, well….”

“You mentioned coffee?” Seph wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible so she could get back to her plan.

“Yes! Coffee! Okay. Let’s go get some coffee then,” he reached down for her suitcase and Seph picked her handbag up.

“Which way then, Spencer Reid?”

“Erm…. Well. I only live like two blocks from here? Would it be weird for you if we went there…. There’s not that many coffee shops open right now. I swear I’m not a serial killer.”

Persephone laughed at the last part. “Considering the aim of this evening was for me to wind up dead, I really wouldn’t care if you were. Lead the way.”

A peculiar look crossed his face as he processed her words and he rolled his bottom lip between his teeth before turning and dragging the suitcase away.

“It’s this way Persephone.”

“Seph,” she corrected him, seeing him walking away.

“I like Persephone.”

Seph hurried after him, “Well it’s not your name.”

“You realise you had the perfect opportunity then, to turn around and jump.”

He was right, she did.

So why had she run after him instead?


	3. Chapter 3

Spencer had no idea why he’d suggested that they go back to his place, he could have found an open coffee shop if they’d have walked for long enough.

He also had no idea why he wasn’t taking this girl to the nearest hospital either. She’d been about to commit suicide so she obviously needed help. Yet there was something stopping him. He didn’t know this girl from adam, but she clearly had a story. One that he very much wanted to hear.

He led her away from the park and out onto the main streets pulling her little suitcase behind him. He noticed the luggage tags still on them, she’d flown in from New York.

“So did you have to get a flight connection via New York to get here?” he asked her curiously, confused as he couldn’t recall a British Airline that flew to D.C via the Big Apple.

“Erm no, I live in New York actually. Have done since I was 22,“ she replied, digging in her pockets for a tissue and wiping away some of the mascara that had made its way down her cheeks.

“How old are you now if you don’t mind me asking?”

“How old are you Spencer Reid?”

“32,” he looked back at her seeing her eyes widen slightly. She had deep green eyes now he could see them properly, the light from the streets lamps illuminating her face somewhat. It was a shame that they were rimmed with so much red and black right now, he could tell she’d be very pretty without any make up and without the evidence of tears splashed across her face.

“You don’t look it. You look younger than me,” she replied, studying his face as she navigated the side walk expertly in her high heels.

Now they were in the light he could see she was impeccably dressed, her clothes were clearly tailor made for her, him not recognising the brand. He could however see the telltale flashes of red on the soles of her shoes.

Seeing him looking at her expectantly she sighed. “I’m 29. I’ll be 30 in three weeks. Well, 24 days actually. That’s one of the things that triggered this whole debacle actually.”

“Turning 30?” Spencer asked remembering how his team had initially forgotten his 30th, only throwing him an impromptu party at headquarters after he’d let it slip to Emily whilst on a case.

“Yes….. Me and my best friend made lists when we were 15 of all the things we wanted to have achieved by the time we turned 30. She kept them and I reread mine four months ago. From a list of 13, I’ve achieved two.”

“You made the list when you were 15. Things change. How many has your friend achieved?”

“Well considering she’ll never see 30, she’s still managed to achieve eight out of her ten. And nine and ten would have happened within a few years time.”

Spencer turned into a side street leading Persephone with him and up the stairs to his apartment building.

“Wait… Why will she never see 30?” he realised the answer almost as soon as the question left his mouth, feeling like the most insensitive dick around. It was obvious. “I’m sorry Persephone," he murmured. “How long?”

“Six months. Her and her fiancé both. Car accident. Least they were together, I guess. Her Mum found the lists in Alex’s room. I hadn’t realised she’d even kept them all these years.” She cleared her throat, blinking back tears before closing her eyes. Shaking her head slightly she reopened them, the tears gone and a look of resolve on her face. “Alex always went after what she wanted and she never let anyone stand in her way. I do. Because I’m scared of the consequences. I generally do what I’m told, when I’m told. I rarely fight for what I want. And that’s another reason I’m in this mess.”

The way she spoke gave Reid the impression that she’d had this conversation before, whether with herself or with another person. Her voice was tinged heavily with regret but he also got the sense that she knew exactly what her issues were. When some people contemplated suicide, they simply didn’t know why they were sad, they just were. In fact, not knowing what was wrong was more common than actually knowing what was. Persephone seemed to know what her problems were, so if that was the case, why didn’t she change them?

“This…. This is me.” Spencer unlocked the door to his apartment, switching the lights on as he went in.

Pleased his apartment was clean he led her in, watching her go straight to his book case, her eyes flickering over the masses of books.

“You like to read I take it?” Her hand trailed across one of the shelves before she moved to the wall next to it, seeing his degrees and certificates which his mother had insisted he display.

“You’re 32… Some of these are dated years ago… Are you some kind of freaky genius Spencer Reid?”

“I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified….. ” he stopped, seeing the look on her face. “Yes I’m a genius.”

Sometimes it was just easier.

“And an FBI agent too,” She’d got to his work based qualifications.  
“A profiler to be exact. So that’s how you were able to read me earlier then. Interesting.”

She read through the rest of the certificates quickly before spinning to turn him.

“So….. Coffee? I’ve kinda got things to do here.”

“Coffee... Do you want to come through to the kitchen, Persephone?”

“Sure thing Spencer Reid…. Who clearly does that,” She laughed at her own joke. “Sorry. I’m sure you get that all the time.”

“Not since school actually." He clicked his kettle on, spooning coffee into mugs and adding sugar to his before sliding the dish over to her.

“How much sugar? Seriously? Why drink coffee if you ruin the taste of it with all that sweetness?”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you. I’ve always drank it this way, and everyone always comments. It’s just habit more than anything now.”

She ignored the sugar, waiting for him to add the water. She shook her head at the creamer he offered her, choosing to take it black.

“So. Here we are. Drinking coffee,” she raised her mug in the air in a ‘cheers’ motion.

“Persephone…. ” he began, but she cut him off, knowing what was coming.

“Seph. And you said you wouldn’t ask why.”

“Sorry…. I just. I want to understand.” Looking at her now in the harsh light of his kitchen, she seemed familiar. Like he’d met her before somewhere.

“Okay… Fine. There’s lots of contributing factors to my decision Spencer Reid. But the simplest way of explaining it is this: Have you ever known where you are now, and known where you want to be, but you have no idea how to get from A to B? And that not knowing builds and builds and it eats away at you until it consumes you entirely. You know what you should be doing, but you just can’t get there.”

“I can understand that feeling, yes.”

“I knew where I was ten years ago. And I knew what I wanted to be by the time I was 30. And I’ve achieved nothing….. Yes alright, I should be happy, I have parents who love me in their own way, up until this morning I had a fiancé, who for all his flaws was a decent enough human being. And I had the bestest friend in the world up until six months ago. I was working my arse off trying to establish my dream as well. I was….. well I wasn’t happy. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt 100 percent happy with my life. But I was coping. I was getting on with it. And I was working towards my dream that would have made me happy. I was existing in a state that I could live with. Until Alex died and every went tits up. And until I saw this stupid list and realised how much I actually haven’t done. My dead best friend achieved pretty much everything on her list and I probably never will now. My whole life has been planned out for me by my parents, and I’m too chicken shit to go against their plans for me. I want more, I have my own plans and my own ideas. Except I don’t know how to achieve them anymore, I don’t know how to do the things that will make me happy. And if I can’t make myself happy then what’s the point. Why carry on? Why put so much effort into a life that’s not going to reward me because I don’t know how to make it reward me. It’s too hard. And I’m not cut out for it. So why bother?”

To some, she may have sounded like a spoilt brat. She wasn’t admitting to being abused, not saying she had any kind of dependency problem. She simply wanted more out of life than what she was getting, but didn’t know how to get it. Plenty of people would see this as no good reason to end a life. But to her, it was all the reason she needed. Why carry on if she wasn’t excited by life?

Spencer got it. He understood her. He thought he’d have cured schizophrenia by the time he was 25 and he hadn’t. The disappointment he’d felt, the self loathing and lack of purpose. There was definitely more going on though, a deeper layer to the issues. But in the simplest terms, she was holding herself back and she knew it. But she felt crippled, unable to do anything about it for some reason.

“Persephone…..”

“Spencer Reid,” she interjected.

“Why do you call me by my full name?” he asked her suddenly.

“Because I must have told you four times already that it’s Seph. Yet you insist on calling me Persephone. I know what you’re trying to do.”

“I’m not trying to do anything, it’s just a pretty name.”

“It’s a ridiculous name. Especially when it’s paired with my surname,” she scoffed.

“Which is?”

Spencer watched as she reached into her purse, tossing her passport across the table to him.

He flicked it open to the photo page seeing her full name.

Persephone Bella-Morte.

“Stupid isn’t it…. And quite apt really.”

“Bella-Morte…. ” he clicked his fingers as it came to him. “I know who you are. I thought you looked familiar.”


	4. Chapter 4

“I know who you are! I thought you looked familiar.”

Yep……Seph had thought he might. Not everyone would have recognised the family name, but given how smart Spencer apparently was and his line of work, he was bound to pay attention to business news.

Seph’s family owned a large range of luxury business hotels; Lux. Her great grandpa and his brother had started the business in the thirties, it somehow surviving through the war. The brand had grown and expanded throughout the years and now almost every major city in Europe and the USA had a Lux hotel or two. The Bella-Morte name was widely associated with the Lux brand, the hotel bars even having its own cocktails and dessert range featuring various puns on the name.

Persephone had a love/hate relationship with her name though. The surname itself was ridiculous enough without being paired with Persephone, Queen of the Underworld. Once her friends had started to study Greek mythology at school and learnt what the literal translation of her family name was, the nicknames had started. It didn’t help with the film adaptation of the Anne Rice novel “Queen of the Damned” coming out during Seph’s teenage years.

By then though shed started to embrace the name. She’d been heavily into the grunge scene, her parents having a fit when she’d come home with a lip piercing and her auburn hair dyed black, and the nickname her friends bestowed upon her because of the name fit her new look. Growing older Seph had replaced the lip ring with a nipple bar and a few tattoos in places that weren’t visible unless she wanted them to be, gradually returning to her natural hair colour.

“I am so pleased I came across you tonight and stopped you. Your case would have ended up coming across to the BAU if I hadn’t.”

“Do the FBI routinely investigate suicides then?” She definitely didn’t think so.

“You’re a high profile name… Well, at least your family is. And with it happening in D.C too it would have definitely come our way,” Spencer took a sip of his drink.

“Then it will still come across your desk then. Nothing’s changed. I still intend on doing it.”

“Really?…. Perseph…. Seph, I don’t understand though. Surely given who you are, you could have anything and everything you wanted? Your family are millionaires and from I understand you’d have a job there for life.”

“I can feel you judging me… And I know I lied when I said I wasn’t some poor little rich girl like Rose from Titanic. In fact, I have more in common with her than I’d like, right down to the red hair,” she pulled on a strand of her hair, wrapping it around her finger before pushing it back off her face again.

“I’m not judging you I promise, I just…. If you’re going to come across my desk, help me understand why.”

“I can’t though. That’s the thing. When I say it out loud, it sounds ridiculous. Because I should be happy. Alright, my best friend is dead, and my now ex fiancé was a bit of a dickhead…. but I wasn’t overly into him anyway so whatever. But my family do love me and I can pretty much anything I want. But that comes with conditions.”

“Conditions?…. And ex fiancé? Or is that another story?” he asked cautiously.

Seph downed the last of her coffee, looking at him and holding out the empty mug, “Got anything stronger?”

“Whiskey… Somewhere.”

“Well don’t just sit there Spencer Reid.” If she was going to keep talking then she’d need a stronger drink. Spencer rummaged around in a cupboard, coming up with two tumblers and a bottle of Jack.

“Technically it’s bourbon…. ” he poured two generous measures and handed one over. “Do you want to actually sit down?”

“Sure.”

He led the way through to his living room bringing the bottle with him, taking a seat at one end of his couch. Persephone removed her coat and slid her heels off, taking a seat the other end and curling her stockinged feet up beneath her. Taking a sip, the amber nectar warming her throat instantly, she began.

“Yes conditions. And the fiancé…. He’s the reason I’m in D.C. I’ve been…. distant from him over the last few months, given what happened with Alex and well, you know, contemplating my whole existence and all. When I think about it now, I’ve probably been distant from him for a lot longer than that. In fact, I’m not sure I was ever really that close to him in the first place. He’s the son of one of Daddy’s lawyers. So gosh, maybe the marriage of convenience thing applies too except from his side rather than mine… Anyway. So he’s here on business and I thought….well, I was bored so I thought I’d come surprise him. Maybe a good couple of fucks would have taken my mind off wanting to slit my own wrists or jumping off a bridge. So I get here this morning, go to his hotel which given his connections, was not a Lux. Obviously I know why now. I slipped the receptionist a hundred for the key to his room and find him balls deep inside of his secretary. A pretty little nineteen year old. Needless to say, me and him are over. Although, I’m surprisingly not that bothered. It just kinda helped my decision.” Seph saw the look on Spencer’s face. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to kill myself because of him. I was planning it anyway. Today just… Made me want to get it over with sooner rather than later. Made me bring my original deadline forward."

She took another sip of her drink, holding it out for a refill. Spencer obliged, topping up his own which he was quickly draining.

“The conditions I referred to. Everyone in my family is expected to work at Lux. I don’t want that. I want my own business. I want to start my own clothing line, my own fashion brand. But the parents have my own future planned out for me. I worked there until until I was 27 and then decided I’d had enough and that I needed to try and get this business off the ground. But I’m expected to start working back at Lux the week after my thirtieth birthday. Apparently I’ve had ‘Enough time to arse around trying to make something out of myself.’ I was so close to getting it off the ground, but then with Alex dying, I missed some important business meetings and the funding fell through.”

“If you don’t want to work for your family, then don’t work for them. You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions. They can’t force you.”

“It’s not that simple….In theory it is, in practice it’s not. It’s a family run business, we’re all expected to work there, it’s tradition. They heard me out when I said I wanted to leave two years ago. They agreed to give me until my thirtieth birthday to do it on my own, which is how I wanted to do it. I could have taken their money, and to an extent I did use some of my trust fund to help make a portfolio and designs and stuff but I won’t use their money or name to launch the brand. It was agreed that if I couldn’t do this by the time I was thirty then I go and take up my rightful place back at Lux. If I don’t, I get cut off completely. No trust fund, no nothing. And I don’t have any money of my own, I was meant to make some but that didn’t happen.”

“So still…. Talk to them again,” Spencer’s brow furrowed.

“I have. After Alex died, I asked for an extension. And they were sympathetic, but refused. I’ve had long enough apparently….. Look I sound bratty I know, and I’m a walking contradiction. I don’t want their business, but I can’t function without my trust fund. I don’t want to work for them, but I’ve failed at being able to work for myself. Lux doesn’t interest me at all. But I made an agreement with them. And it would would be letting the family name down to back out of said agreement and blah blah blah family honour and such. Have you seen Beauty and the Beast, the Disney film?”

Her sudden change in track surprised him, but he nodded.

“I’ve watched it with my godson a few times, yes,” Spencer replied and Seph then explained her question.

“The first song…. There’s a part goes:  
I want adventure in the great wide somewhere,  
I want it more than I can tell.  
But for once it might be grand, to have someone understand.  
I want so much more than they’ve got planned.  
You know it?”

“Yes, I remember it,” he pushed his hair back behind his ear, thinking. “So you feel trapped by your obligations to your family, downhearted because of your own perceived failure, and disillusioned by life because you haven’t achieved the things you wanted to. Add your best friend dying to that and…… whilst I don’t agree suicide is the way out, I can maybe understand how you might feel that it is.”

He could?

He could.

Oh.

Huh.

“Pers… Seph…. You mentioned an original deadline. What was it?”

“Erm… I was planning on doing it on my birthday. I figured… Why not.”

“Okay. Will you consider reverting to your original date?” he asked quietly, his eyes intensely studying her.

“Whhhhyyy?” Seph dragged the word out, suspicious.

“I want to see this list. Your birthday’s twenty four days away right? Seph, suicide is never the answer, although I know it sometimes feels that way. You want more from life. Then let’s go and get more. Please. If I can help you tick off some of the items on that list, and maybe together we can come up with a way to get your business plan back up and running, will you reconsider it?”

He seemed so earnest and Seph found herself feeling sorry for him somewhat. But…

“You want to try and fix me?”

“No… Because you’re not broken. You’re not even a lost soul that needs to be found. You know what you want, you just can’t work out how to get it. So let me try to help.” Spencer reached out across the couch, hesitating before taking her hand. Normally Seph would recoil if a stranger touched her like that when it wasn’t in a professional environment…. But she was in his apartment, on his couch. When she’d originally intending on taking up the throne next to Hades by now.

“Why do you want to help me?” she asked. Reid considered her question carefully before answering.

“Because maybe I need some purpose in my life too. I try not to believe in fate. It doesn’t fit in with my logic. But, a lot of people would say that we met tonight for a reason. I don’t normally walk that way home, you’re not normally in D.C. I’ve had a pretty shitty year myself. Maybe this will help me too.”

“And if you don’t succeed and I still do it? Because I will.”

“Then at least I gave it my best shot.”

Seph considered his offer…. What was another twenty four days really?

Although he’d laugh when he saw how pathetic the list was. But…. Well, he was a genius. Maybe he could think of another way out of this for her. And if not she could just stick with the plan. Another twenty four days.

Okay. Seph could stick it out for that long.

“Okay. Fix my life Spencer Reid.”


	5. Chapter 5

"Okay. Fix my life Spencer Reid."

Persephone.... Seph, he really needed to get used to calling her that, downed her drink and held out her glass for another refill. Spencer obliged, not filling it quite as much this time.

Fix the life a complete stranger. Could he really do that? Was he really going to try? Well he'd offered now so he couldn't really not try. But how was he going to do this, and how would he feel if he failed and she did it anyway. Hell with the year he'd had, he'd probably join her on the bridge and suggest they jump together.

First things first though.

"Have you got this list then?" he asked her, needing to see what he was dealing with.

She nodded, her long hair falling forward as she leant to retrieve her bag from the floor. Looking at her now he couldn't believe he hadn't recognised her sooner. She wasn't in the press as much as a certain other hotel heiress but she'd definitely made a fair few appearances in the tabloids, photographed at various charity events and gala's. Perhaps it was that her trademark dark eyeliner and plum lipstick had been rubbed off due to her crying that had prevented him from making the connection, although Spencer thought she looked better sans the heavy make up she was rarely pictured without.

Seph pulled her bag onto her lap and rummaged through it pulling out two cellphones, one of which Reid could see was lit up with notifications of missed calls and messages. She retrieved a large leather purse, the material decorated with tiny skulls and stitched little potion bottles. Unzipping it, she searched through the compartments before pulling out a carefully folded piece of notebook paper which she then handed to him.

"Don't judge me.... Well any more than you already are. I wrote this when I was fifteen. Some of them may seem juvenile, or just plain silly. And they'll all probably seem easily achievable, which is what makes me not having completed them more frustrating."

Persephone grimaced as she watched him unfold the paper, his eyes quickly skimming the list.

*Bungee jump/sky dive  
*Make out with a total stranger  
*Perform at a bar. Karaoke/Open Mic night  
*Give someone a sexy strip tease  
*Learn to play chess  
*Hike the Inca Trail  
*Kiss another woman  
*Learn another language  
*Watch both the sunset set and then rise from the same deserted spot, having spent all night awake with someone special.  
*Start my own business and make it a success.  
*Spend 24 hours in bed with someone, completely devouring each other until we can't move  
*Change someone else's life, for the better.

Written in a different handwriting at the bottom of the list was another.

*Be happy, because you deserve it.

Okay, so she wasn't lying when she'd said that some of these were easily achievable. In fact depending on her confidence levels, most of them were very easily doable. And he couldn't see how her doing any of these apart from the business, would change her life enough to make it feel worth living. But it obviously wasn't the actual things themselves, but the idea that she'd made this list and hadn't achieved it.

"Was Alex's the same?" Spencer asked, looking at her.

She bit her lip and shook her head. "No. We only had one item which was the same. Hers were all way harder, like hiking to Everest Base Camp and running the Boston Marathon. And she completed everything on her list apart from marrying the love of her life and cruising the world, both of which she had booked in to do."

"Wait..... Alex. You're talking about Alexandra Novak, right?"

Seeing Seph nod Spencer recalled the article he'd read about the daughter of a British property mogul and the accident that had taken hers and her fiancés life six months ago. The accident had been horrific, a car crash that had had the pair trapped for hours before they were found barely breathing. Alex had died when the fire crew and paramedics had been trying to remove her from the vehicle, a rogue piece of debris puncturing her lung. Her fiancé Luke, had been in a coma on life support for seven weeks after, before his family had come to the decision to turn it off. Oh god..... The details had been all over the news, so there was no doubt that Persephone knew the excruciating pain her friend must have felt whilst waiting for be rescued. He decided against commenting on the accident, there were no comforting words he could offer her now.

"You mentioned you'd achieved two of these already? Which two?"

"Seven and eight. Seven was the one thing on both of our lists...... "

The eye contact she made as she said that, told Spencer everything else he needed to know about that point.

"What languages can you speak? I've picked up a few over my time."

"Italian.... Obviously. Although despite the name we're as British as they come, very "more tea vicar". And I can speak a fair bit of Russian. One of the girls I went to boarding school with was Russian and it interested me."

"Да неужели," Spencer offered.

"Да, действительно. удивляйся так." Seph countered, her accent better than his. She smiled slightly, seeing his face. She should do that more often Spencer thought.

"Okay.....I need to think about these but we can achieve some of these fairly easily and without too much effort."

"Really? So are you going to do a sexy strip tease with me Spencer Reid?" she asked, the corners of her mouth twitching upward still.

She had a very pretty smile, one that Spencer knew could stop people dead when it reached her eyes. He'd seen enough pictures of it before in print.

"If that's what it takes to keep you on the safe side of the bridge then yes."

She laughed, totally indifferent to the mention of her planned suicide. Reid found people often were once they'd made the decision to end their lives.

Checking her watch she announced, "Okay.. Well, best call a cab and get them to take me to the D.C Lux. It's late."

"NO!" Spencer blurted out, looking around sheepishly when he realised how loud he'd been.

"No?"

"Sorry.... It's just. Well, I don't really think you should be going off alone right now."

"I'm not going to off myself tonight now. I've said I'll give you until my birthday. You have my word. And considering what I've explained to you, that should mean a lot."

"It does.... But. I still don't feel comfortable with it. Look, you can have my bed tonight and I'll take the couch. We can work something out tomorrow."

"So are you planning on watching me like a hawk for the next 24 days then...... Cos I'll bore you very quickly. I'm not terribly interesting and I'm relatively weird."

"I like weird," he nodded at her, somehow doubting she would bore him at all. He wasn't planning on letting her out of his sight if he could help it, except to sleep and to go to the bathroom. Although, he'd need to move some things out of his bathroom. Just to be on the safe side.

She sighed, "Fine.....I'll stay. But I'll take the couch."

"Nope sorry. My mother raised me to be a gentlemen. And you're in luck, I changed the bed sheets this morning." Suddenly thankful that he had.

"That's a shame. I was going to inspect them for strange stains..... Sorry, you'll come to realise I have a strange sense of humour."

She gave another laugh and stood.

"So, Spencer Reid who definitely does read. Show me to your bedroom."


	6. Chapter 6

Seph had slept strangely soundly for the first time in what seemed like months. Maybe there was something to be said for “talking about your problems.” She’d just never really felt comfortable discussing the dark thoughts that clouded her mind sometimes.

This wasn’t the first time in her life she’d had these thoughts. Despite growing up and having everything she’d asked for pretty much presented to her on a silver platter, Seph had struggled a lot when she was a teenager. She’d had friends and had been relatively popular at the boarding school she’d been enrolled in. But it always felt like everyone had a preconceived idea of who she was and what she’d be like.

Persephone felt like she struggled to show people the real her because she didn’t know who the real her was. When she was alone she’d sit and think, contemplating if she’d ever know what she wanted from life or who she was. One of the reasons Seph had loved the Alice stories so much is because she’d always felt strangely connected to her, wandering through life quite lost and never knowing which direction she wanted to go in. Just that she wanted to go somewhere.

From a young age she’d been told she’d be joining the family business. It was only when Seph was 13 that she’d realised she didn’t want that, but she just didn’t know what she wanted to do instead. Persephone was fairly certain she wanted to do something to do with art, she had a talent for drawing and designing. In fact when Lux had rebranded a few years ago, it had been her design used on the logo, one of the few times she’d ever shown an interest in the business. Seph had struggled to confide in people as well, Alex being the only truly close friend she’d had. It was her who she’d tell all her secrets to, her who Seph would spend hours laughing with and it was Alex who’d found Seph dragging a razor blade across her thigh when she was 15. It was that night they’d made the lists together, Alex telling Seph that she needed to have something to aim for, something to work towards. She’d spent all night talking with Seph, crying when she realised what her friend had been doing to herself for months and asking her why?

Persephone couldn’t answer her. Because she didn’t know explicitly why she’d started. Just that it helped in some small way. Seeing the little red beads of fluid escaping her skin somehow felt like she was releasing some of the pent up frustrations she felt but couldn’t verbalise. Frustrations that made no sense to anyone else, not even herself sometimes.

“I just want to know who I actually am and not who I’m meant to be. I want to achieve things for me, not for my family or other people,” Seph had told Alex.

“So let’s do it. Tell me what you want to do, anything. Big or small. We’ll put it on a list. And we’ll make a pact to do them all.” She’d replied, pulling out her note book.

And so the lists had been born. And Persephone had put the razor blades away and tried to banish the thoughts she’d been having.

When she’d left school and started university, the list had been pushed to the back of her mind. She gained degrees in Art and Design, and finally sat down and told her parents that she didn’t want to be part of Lux. They were disappointed, the whole family worked there and for their own daughter to tell them that they didn’t want their business was hurtful. Seph felt guilt tripped and like she was letting them down. So she’d relented, going to work in the head office in New York, drawing and designing in her spare time. She’d started designing dresses, putting them together in the evenings and working during the day. Dresses turned into purses and bags, her taking courses in leather work and tailoring to enhance her skills when she was able to.

When Seph had started wearing her designs to work and out to events, people started to compliment them and had asked her to design them things. It was only during another conversation with Alex where she convinced Seph to pursue this full time. So nearly three years ago on her 27th birthday, she had. She’d sat down with her parents again, telling them that she wanted out of Lux and why. Seph wanted to set up her own clothing brand; The Damned Dead Queen. The grunge style from her teenage years had stayed with Persephone and the designs were aimed at that scene. After a lot of deliberation and discussion,they’d agreed.

Setting out conditions they agreed to release Seph from the family obligation temporarily. They’d fund her lifestyle until she was thirty, allowing her the time to set up a portfolio, gain clients and make a name and brand for herself. If she hadn’t established the business successfully by the time she was thirty then she’d come back to Lux, or they’d cut her off completely. It might sound harsh to some, but it was their way. They wanted Seph to follow tradition but also didn’t wish to stifle her ambition anymore as they could see she wanted it. So Seph made the agreement with them, thankful to them for listening and understanding. Except it became clear over the two years that passed that they didn’t really understand, and expected her to fail.

Seph had worked hard, had business meetings with fashion houses, her designs were being recognised on the Internet blog page she’d set up and she’d had interest. She’d even assembled a team of seamstresses ready to go to work as soon as they were needed. But then Alex had died. And Persephone had struggled to get out of bed for three months, shunning almost everyone in her life including her fiancé Edward.

By the time she’d managed to pull herself out of her funk, the interest had dried up. The companies she’d had meetings booked in with but hadn’t turned up to, now not willing to take her calls.

Not wanting to use the family name when she’d registered TDDQ as a company and trademarked it, Seph had used her first and middle name, Persephone Dawn. Perhaps in hindsight she should have used her family name, the companies would have taken the calls then she’d bet. But she’d wanted to do this herself. And she’d failed drastically. Failing at life seeming Seph’s speciality. Exactly what her parents had expected of her.

Tonight though…. Tonight had been interesting. And unexpected. When Seph had come to the decision four weeks ago about what she was going to do about her predicament, she hadn’t expected to actually end up talking to anyone about it. The only person she would have told, was no longer around and if she was to believe in the afterlife, Seph would be reunited with her soon enough anyway. She certainly hadn’t expected anyone to be able to talk her out of it. And…. Well she guessed Spencer hadn’t really talked her out of it as such, her original deadline had been her birthday and it had only been shitty circumstances that had made her bring it forward to today.

But… In a way, talking about it out loud made it seem real. And all of a sudden dying seemed that bit more daunting. No less inviting, the complications of life vanishing completely. Just daunting.

Spencer Reid had been an unwelcome complication initially, interrupting Seph’s plans and refusing to leave her alone. But she’d be lying to herself if she said she weren’t as intrigued by him as he obviously was with her.

He was clearly a very intelligent man although most people coming across a suicidal woman would have called for help and for some reason, he hadn’t. Although his job must have given him some experience in what to do, he still should have called for assistance or taken Seph to the nearest psych ward. And he hadn’t, the reasons for why, she didn’t know.

As she lay in his bed, the early morning sunlight streaming through his curtains she wondered why he hadn’t. As a trained FBI agent Persephone knew it wasn’t in his interest to take random strangers home. Was it because he knew who she was, had that influenced it? He’d said he’d needed a purpose in life. Which was curious. He was thirty two, had a good job and was a genius, as well as being an extremely attractive man, something Seph had only noticed when they’d got back to his apartment. Yet… he had no photos of family around his apartment and no mention of a significant other, past or present. He’d told Seph that she would have killed his year if she’d have jumped and that he needed purpose in his life too. Which, as an FBI agent, surely he had? He caught serial killers and saved lives for a living. Maybe he was looking for something more from life too. There was definitely a story there, which considering he now knew the majority of Seph’s, she hoped to find out. Tit for tat right?

He’d slept on the couch last night after showing her to his room and clattering about in his bathroom before leaving with a bag, pajamas and blankets. When Seph had entered his bathroom to clean up, she could see straight away what he’d been doing. No razor blades to be seen anywhere. And Spencer was clean shaven.

When she’d peeked inside his medicine cabinet, she couldn’t see any painkillers or any pills either, although weirdly there didn’t actually seem to be any empty spaces for them to have been. He’d definitely removed his razors though, which made her chuckle.

No, if she was going to do it, it wouldn’t be that way. Bleeding out took too long. And she certainly wouldn’t do it in someone else’s home.

Seph had got the distinct feeling that he had no plan on leaving her alone until her birthday now, and she didn’t intend on taking up his bed for the next three weeks. She didn’t object to him keeping an eye on her for some reason. He seemed to genuinely care and had taken an interest, something she hadn’t felt for a while. Seph would give him a shot to do the things he’d said he’d try to. If he succeeded, then maybe there was hope for this life yet, she doubted it though. If not, well she could go through with her original plan and have spent her last week’s in the company of someone who cared.

But if Persephone spent three weeks with this man and he failed, could she really do that to him? That was a question she’d have to come back to. It seemed callous to allow someone to put energy into trying to save another person just to then do it anyway. But then again, Seph hadn’t asked him for help. It wasn’t her fault he’d found her and stuck his nose in.

She could hear movement coming from the kitchen, and decided to get up and see what today would bring. A new dawn, a new day and all that. And maybe she would end up feeling good.

Stranger things have happened.

But first to deal with the slew of messages on her phone.


	7. Chapter 7

Spencer had lain on the couch for a good hour or so before he'd finally drifted off to sleep. He couldn't work out why he felt compelled to help this woman who he barely knew but he did. He should have called for assistance, he should have taken her to a hospital for professional help, but something told him that she wasn't mentally unstable and he could help her himself.

What he was doing went against every bit of his FBI training and if he'd reacted this way when he was out in the field then he would be seriously reprimanded for becoming emotionally involved. Yet, he didn't care. This had happened on his own time, off duty. If he forced himself to look at the situation from an outsiders view he knew he was doing this for his own selfish reasons. He needed purpose. If he could change her mind and stop Seph from taking her own life then it would make him feel better about his own. It would validate him somehow, make him think that he was making a difference in the world. And he needed that. Especially after the year he'd had.

A distraction would be good. And Persephone intrigued him, there was something about her, her situation, that made him want to help. Plus, anyone who could quote Alice at the drop of the hat was worth getting to know. Anyone into literature was worth getting to know in Spencer's opinion. As he drifted off to sleep he wondered what else he'd find out about her.

...

It took Spencer a few seconds to work out why he was on the couch, and why he could hear a female voice coming from his bedroom. Once the events of the previous evening - well a few hours ago really, came back to him he started to wonder what his plan would be.

First things first, he needed to talk to Hotch. Spencer rarely took vacation time anyway and often had HR on his back each year badgering him to take his accrued leave. He often did what Rossi did most years, giving away his time off to other Agent's with family. They needed it more than him and he only ever needed a few days to go and see his Mom each year.

He'd taken more time off this year with what had happened with Maeve but that had gone through as compassionate leave, not affecting his holiday allowance. And if he couldn't get the time off at short notice, he'd take it unpaid. He had savings, his salary being topped up by a few casino wins here and there before he eventually got banned. His outgoings were so few compared to his incoming, his main outgoing being the cost of his Mom's care facility. But that was worth it. No, he could afford time off. Hotch would understand, although he may need to adjust his story somewhat. He could imagine the disapproving look on his supervisors face.

"Hey Aaron, I need three weeks off to save a hotel heiress that I found threatening to jump off a bridge last night. And by the way.... I took her home with me last night and made her sleep in my bed."

Yeah, that wouldn't go down well at all.

He picked his phone up, checking the time and scrolling through his emails. Garcia had finally convinced him to get an email account, telling him that he absolutely needed it and that he was missing out. He spotted a message from an old friend, one he'd replied to a while ago but hadn't yet deleted.

Hmmmm.

An idea came to mind that could just work but first he'd need more details from Seph.

Seph...

Bringing up Wikipedia, he searched her name, scanning through the facts that he knew and some that he didn't. Persephone Dawn Bella-Morte, age 29. Born and raised in London, England. He knew that. He didn't know that her degrees came from Oxford and that she had more than one. Art and Design, and Business Development, her coming almost top of her graduating class in both.

Her surname came from her great grandparents who moved from Italy to London in the early 1900s. Her family had remained in London until around fifteen years ago, when they'd transferred the head office of Lux to New York, having opened a string of new Lux's over here. She'd joined them in the States after graduating from university taking over the role of Brand Manager from her much older Aunt who had held the position for thirty years. So her parents had listened in some way at least, giving her a job in the design field.

He went on to read about the changes she'd implemented herself, remembering the rebrand that Lux had undergone four years ago and realising that Seph had been responsible for the redesign, the new, contemporary logo being designed by her personally. Profits had increased almost immediately after the rebrand, the company now appealing to younger clientele as well as the older, loyal customers. She'd done a fair amount for the company in the small time she'd been there, it was no wonder her parents wanted her back.

Lifting himself off the couch and folding the blankets, he dragged his pajama pants back on and wandered into his kitchen, flicking the coffee machine on and searching for some bread to make toast with.

"Good morning, Spender Reid."

He jumped, the voice behind him startling him. He heard a giggle as he turned to his guest, seeing her stood in an oversized "The Used" t-shirt and nothing else. He couldn't help but glance at her bare legs, the material of her t-shirt only just skimming the tops of her thighs.

"Do you wanna like... take a picture? It'll last longer."

Shit... She'd seen. His faced flushed and he met her eyes, seeing an amused expression on her face. Not one of annoyance though. Her face was now completely free of all make up, her green eyes standing out against her auburn hair which was tied up messily.

"Spencer Reid, your bed is the comfiest bed ever. I slept so well and really did not want to get out of it. But...... I have. And now I need a shower."

"Shower.... " For a man so intelligent, he definitely sometimes struggled around attractive women. And having one stood almost naked in his kitchen seemed to have lowered his IQ significantly.

"Yes shower....I know you have one. I've seen it. But I didn't want to just assume I could us it. Plus, I need towels. And a hair dryer if you have one."

Shaking his head slightly his brain now comprehending what she was saying. "Yes yes, shower. That's fine. Towels are in the cupboard to the left of the bathroom. And the hair-dryer is in the drawer to the right of my bed."

"Thanks! Be back in twenty," she bounded off to his bathroom, stopping by the cupboard on her way. Peering after her, he saw the bottom of her shirt lift up slightly as she reached into the cupboard.  
She was wearing panties, thank fuck for that.

"I told you, take a picture, it'll last longer," she called out, obviously feeling his eyes on her. She grinned at him before slipping into his bathroom, the shower starting seconds later.

She seemed much more happy today, a total 180 from the women he'd come across last night. Was it the fact she'd talked about her issues that had caused the complete flip in personality? It wasn't enough of a flip for him to wonder about her being manic depressive. He'd seen traits of the chirpiness and humour last night when they'd been talking. Whatever it was, he was pleased.

He set about making two coffees, remembering how she took hers and making himself some toast to go with it. Settling down, he busied himself with eating, not looking up when heard his bathroom door open and close, followed quickly by his bedroom door. A few minutes later, the sound of a hair dryer through the walls.  
She emerged fifteen minutes later, dragging her suitcase. She was dressed in dark blue skinny jeans, an oversized tank top layered on top of another top, and a checked shirt, the buttons undone and sleeves rolled up. Her hair was pulled to the side, a loose braid over one shoulder and she wore a pair of black rimmed glasses. She looked totally different and around ten years younger than what she had last night. She caught him looking at her again.

"What?" she asked, eyeing the cup of coffee he'd put out for her and taking it gratefully.

"You look different is all."

"Meh, I look like this most of the time to be honest. I'm comfy," she laughed, sitting down on his couch and crossing her legs beneath her before pulling out her two phones.

"Everything okay?" Spencer asked seeing her wrinkle up her nose at whatever was on her screen.

"Yep... Just. I had to make some calls this morning. Edward had left about six hundred messages as had my parents. I've filled them in on the Edward situation and told them I'll be in D.C for a while, hanging out with a friend. And then I finally called him back and told him to remove his things from my apartment before I get back there. Of course he tried to weasel his way out, blaming me and my lack of interest in him recently. Whatever. Don't care. Just want him to move his shit out of my home." She took a long swig of her coffee.

"How are you feeling about 'things' today?" he winced at how loaded the question sounded, seeing her raise her eyes at it.

"If by 'things' you mean the wanting to throw myself off a bridge? I'm not thinking about it currently. You said you wanted to fix my life. Sooo fix it. For the next twenty three days, my life is totally in your hands," she saw the daunted look on his face. "Scary isn't it. Thinking how the next twenty three days will decide if I live or die. Sure you still want to take this on? I can walk away today Spencer Re... Spencer. You don't have any obligation to me. I'll even do it in another State and leave a clear note saying it was intentional."

She was giving him an out. The opportunity to back out of the offer he'd made to try to change her life. To make her life worth living in some way. No. He couldn't. Because if he opened a newspaper and saw her suicide a headline, he'd never forgive himself for not trying. He had to do this, and he wanted to do this. There was something about her that screamed at him, telling him she was meant to be alive.

"I don't back out of things Seph. If I say I'll do something, I do it. I want to change your mind about this. Life can be beautiful. But sometimes, we forget. Sometimes I forget too."

"Then okay. I'll give you your chance, and I'll give it my best shot to embrace whatever it is you've got planned. But I'm not staying in your apartment for three weeks."

Yes, that could be an issue. He'd already thought of that this morning when he'd woken up. His couch wasn't overly comfortable but he couldn't expect her to sleep on the couch either.

"I kinda get the feeling you're not going to let me go off myself and get a hotel right?"

He shook his head at her.

"Figured as much.... So, fancy moving out of here for three weeks? I checked this morning and we can rent an apartment in the centre of D.C, relatively close to where you work actually. The sort they rent out for businesses and stuff. I'll pay, well my parents will pay, seeing as I've got you into this mess. And you'll be closer to work too."

"That doesn't matter, I won't be going in. In fact, I need to go in and speak to my boss at some point today."

Persephone's eyes widened slightly and then quickly returned to their normal size. "Is that a yes then?"

Spencer nodded again. Being on completely neutral ground may actually prove more beneficial for the both of them.

"Okay. So you go shower, and pack some stuff. And I will make some phone calls and get our new digs sorted out."

Reid stood, picking up his plate and empty coffee mug, returning them to the kitchen before making his way to his bathroom.

A voice stopped him. "Spencer Reid?"

"Hmmmm?" he didn't turn, sensing somehow that she didn't want him to look at her.

"Thanks. For..... caring. Maybe if I'd met someone like you months ago, I wouldn't have ended up there in the first place."

He heard the catch in her voice, before she took a deep breath and collected herself.

"Right, phone calls. Luxury accommodation coming up!" Sunshine back in her voice.

Spencer carried on towards his bathroom...


	8. Chapter 8

“Wow. This is where we’re staying?” Spencer let out a low breath as he looked around the airy loft apartment Seph had taken him to.

She’d called her parents personal secretary Andrea this morning, asking her to find suitable accommodation in the city for two people for three weeks. She’d called back thirty minutes later with an address. Spencer had packed some belongings, and they’d made their way into the city. Andrea had excelled herself, the apartment was huge and on the top floor of an old converted warehouse by the looks of it. It had its own private balcony and when Seph saw the hot tub, she wanted to fly back to New York and kiss her. It had two large bedrooms next to each other, both with their own en-suites. Seph’s parents must have been feeling sorry for her after hearing about Edward, to allow Andrea to spend this much money on temporary accommodation. It had to be costing a bomb, not that it would make any real dent in their wealth.

Before they’d set off Spencer had asked if he could look at some of Seph’s designs. She’d showed him the few pieces of clothing and accessories that she’d made that she had with her along with the mini portfolio that she carried everywhere.

“Do you have this in an electronic copy?” he’d asked, carefully viewing the items Persephone had worked so hard on. She nodded and he’d asked her to email him a copy which she had, curious to what he was planning. He wouldn’t say, not just yet.

“So erm…. Choose a bedroom and get unpacked I guess. Andrea’s having a delivery of groceries sent over for 6pm so we need to be back here for then, but then we can go out and you can start to show me what a wonderful world we live in.” The last part came out more sarcastically than she’d intended.

“I’ll take the one to the left. And I need to pop into headquarters, but it’s within walking distance. Your secretary did good. Does she know where I work?” Spencer asked, his brow furrowed obviously wondering how much she’d told them.

“Nope, I just asked her to look for somewhere in the centre of the city. And erm… Do I have to come with you?”

“Yes….. I’m still not sure I trust you being your by yourself.”

“You need to learn trust me Spencer Reid. I have no plans on offing myself for another 23 days at least. Promise, scouts honour.” Seph made the scouts signal with her hand, seeing the corners of his lips twitch up. “Buuuut… I am kinda curious as to where you work. Can I watch you cuff someone and interrogate them…. Which reminds me, why do you have cuffs in your bedside cabinet? Are you really that kinky, cos you definitely don’t come across like that.” Seph watched his jaw drop and his cheeks turn bright red.

“W-w-w-what… W-w-w-why… Erm… Um… Ugh.. ” he was kinda cute when he stuttered.

“I opened the wrong drawer when I was looking for the hair dryer…..”

“I…I… I’m g-gonna go unpack.” He spun on his heel dragging his suitcase behind him.

“Spencer…. I didn’t actually look in the wrong drawer. Got the right drawer on the first try. I’m messing with you.”

“Fuck.” She heard him mutter under his breath. Seph laughed.

“Kinda wish I had opened the other drawer though now. Wonder what else was in there?”

She saw him shake his head slightly before continuing into the bedroom, her following suit and heading into the other.

Throwing things into drawers and wardrobes, Seph unpacked quickly and wandered into the bedroom next door when she was finished.

Spencer jumped again when he turned from hanging up with clothes, seeing her standing there.

“Do you ever actually announce your presence in a room, or do you just like to give people mini heart attacks?” he asked.

“Sorry…..I’ll try to make more noise next time. Are you about done? I’m bored.”

“Two minutes and I’ll be done.” He went back to putting his belongings away and she walked over to his bed and flung herself down on it.

“Where are you from Spencer Reid?”

“Are you going to stop calling me that?” He asked, pulling another cardigan onto a hanger.

“Maybe…..What do you prefer. Spencer? Reid? I know FBI agents and cops sometimes use their last names. Spence?” She kinda liked using his whole name though. It rolled nicely off her tongue. Although he had stopped calling her Persephone. Most of the time at least.

“Anything…. Spencer or Spence is fine. “Reid” just reminds me of being at work. Just stop using my full name please. And to answer your question, I’m from Vegas."

“Vegas Baby, Vegas? You’re a genius right, can you count cards?”

“Why does everyone assume that because I’m from Las Vegas and I’m a genius, that I can count cards?” He folded a pair of jeans, sliding them into a drawer.

“Can you?” Seph rolled over onto her back, her head dangling off the edge of the bed slightly.

“Yes. But that’s not the point.”

“Can you teach me?”

“Why would you want to be able to count cards? Your family’s loaded. Plus, it’s not on your list, so no.”

“What if I add it to my list? And while I’m at it, I might add experimenting with the handcuffs I’m now sure you have in your bedside cabinet.”

He dropped the shirt he was holding onto the floor, hurriedly bending down and retrieving it.

“You don’t like it when I flirt with you do you? And…. That’s their money. Teach me to count cards and win at blackjack and I’ll have my own money.”

“It’s not that I don’t like it….. I’m just not sure how to take your ‘flirting’. Women don’t flirt with me. As for the blackjack thing, I’m banned from a lot of casinos.” His suitcase was nearly empty now.

“If you have handcuffs in your bedside cabinet, then I’m quite certain that woman do flirt with you. And take my flirting any way you want to Spence.” Seph tried out the shorter version of his name seeing how it sounded on her lips. It amused her, seeing him mildly uncomfortable by her suggestive remarks. Persephone was naturally a very flirty person, most of the time not meaning anything by it. She was sure he must find the change in her manner odd though. Going from suicidal damsel in distress last night to out rightly flirting with him.

“I’m sure we can find some you’re not banned from. Teach me. Teach me how to play poker too.”

“You don’t know how to play poker?”

“Nope,” Seph popped the p seeing that he was done unpacking and holding her arms ups. “Pull me up please.”

He sighed and leant over the bed, grabbing her hands and tugging her to her feet.

Hmm. His grip was strong yet gentle at the same time and as Seph stood, she wobbled slightly, grabbing his upper arm to steady herself. Spencer looked wiry and lanky but she could definitely feel tone and muscle. She’d bet he had nice arms under the dark green cardigan he was wearing.

“I’ll teach you to play poker and count cards in two months time okay?”

“Nice try Spence…. But I’ll hold you to that, if I’m still here.”

“And I’ll do it. I promise, if you’re still here.”

He looked down at Seph, his hazel eyes searing into hers. He had pretty eyes, expressive ones. In fact his entire face was expressive, although if he was banned from casinos he must have one hell of a poker face.

“Ready to go? You can’t quite watch me cuff someone, but I’ll show you around the office. If I remember rightly, only a few of the team will be in today anyway,” he said, his hands still holding Seph’s arms.

“How do you know they’re not out on a case? That’s what the BAU does right? Goes out into the field to catch killers and stuff. I did my own Googling this morning.”

“I messaged my supervisor early. He’s in, they haven’t got a case today. And yes, we spend a lot of time out in the field. But there’s also an alarming amount of paperwork that has to be done on a weekly basis. And we do other stuff like lecture at schools, mentor new recruits, review cold cases.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“It is. Now let’s go.”

Quickly grabbing her bag from the living area, Seph followed Spencer out of the building and onto the streets. Hopefully, his colleagues wouldn’t ask too much about what he was doing with her.

Because she was fairly certain that he’d be in serious trouble if the truth came out.


	9. Chapter 9

The walk to the BAU headquarters took twenty minutes, both Seph and Spencer wrapping up warm against the cool air. Despite the bright sunshine, it was freezing out and the unlikely pair walked quickly through the streets, Reid leading the way.

They stopped off at a local coffee house for a quick bite to eat and a coffee, Seph asking questions along the way. Spencer found himself telling her more about his life than he ever normally told someone he’d only just met. She listened intently to him and Spencer could see her processing the information he was giving her. He knew he was rambling as he told her about his teenage years and his mother’s condition, surprised that these details were all coming out.

“Does it worry you? Knowing that it’s hereditary?” she asked him.

“Sometimes yes. About two years ago, I started to get really terrible migraines and the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong. I kept thinking….. is this the start of it? Am I gonna end up like my Mom, completely lucid one minute and then a totally different person the next?”

“Did they find out what was causing them in the end?”

“Nope. Which made me worry even more. So I made contact with a geneticist to see if she could figure it out.”

“I’m guessing she couldn’t?”

“No but after talking to her, the headaches stopped. I haven’t had them as bad as that since. I mean, I still get headaches occasionally but they’re just the normal ones that everyone would get.”

Spencer could see headquarters approaching in the distance, and quickened his pace wanting to get in from the cold. He felt a tug on his arm.

“Slow down… You’re like almost a foot taller than me, one of your steps equals two of mine.”

He slowed his pace again, muttering a sorry under his breath.

“S'okay. I’m cold too. So do you still speak to her if you don’t have the headaches anymore?”

“No. I can’t. She…. she’s dead.” The BAU was almost in sight and then he could stop this conversation before it when any further.

“Oh. Erm…..I’m no profiler but….um. I sense a story. But one that you don’t want to tell. So, I won’t push. If she was helping you though, then I’m sorry she’s no longer here.”

“Thank you. We’re here anyway.”

Spencer led her through the doors, flashing his ID badge at security and quickly filling out a visitors form her Seph.

“What name do I put down for you? Are you okay with people knowing who you are and that you were here?” He asked her, suddenly thinking how weird it would look if she did go ahead with her original plan and they somehow checked the visitor records and saw she was here as his guest. Shit. Maybe he should have left her at the apartment. Still…. They were here.

“Just put Seph Dawn, it’s the name I use if I’m attempting to be incognito. It’s not like I personally am well known. It’s that stupid surname. Why couldn’t I have something normal and boring like Reid?”

He handed her the visitors pass, raising his eyebrows at her comment.

“Not that I think your name is boring…aw crap. Spencer definitely isn’t a boring name, it’s a really nice name.. And Reid isn’t boring either, it’s just, not…. Well it’s not the sort of name that makes people laugh like mine does…. I’m rambling, I’ll shut up.”

Spencer chuckled. “It’s nice to meet another rambler. People get annoyed with me all the time, especially my work colleagues. I can’t help it though. When I’m nervous I just talk and then I lose track of what I was originally talking about. I can actually see people shutting down and switching off, but I can’t stop.”

He led her into the elevators, selecting the floor he needed.

“I could quite happily listen to you ramble Spencer Reid. I like listening to interesting people talk.” Seph unzipped her coat, the heat from the building now beginning to seep through her layers and warming her.

“You think I’m interesting?”

“Don’t you?” Seeing the surprised look on his face she continued.

“Not many people, FBI Agent or not, would do what you did last night Spencer. Not many people would offer to do what you’re attempting to do either. So yes, I find it interesting and curious as to why you have, and I’m very interested in learning more about you. Plus….. You have a nice voice.”

“Most people find it annoying,” he could feel himself blushing slightly, not used to compliments.

“I’m not most people.”

No, she definitely wasn’t. And it wasn’t because of her name that he thought that either. Reid was somehow drawn to her, he felt connected to her. Whilst, not on the same level as her, Spencer had had thoughts before. Wonderings of what it would be like if he wasn’t here. But he didn’t dwell on them for too long. Unlike Seph who had dwelled on them long enough to want to make it a reality.

“What’s our story anyway?” The elevator came to and halt and the doors slid open.

“Story?” Reid asked.

“Well won’t your colleagues wonder how we met. Something tells me you don’t routinely bring random girls into work with you.”

Good point. And one he should have thought of long before now.

“Hey Genius! I though Hotch was making you take time off? What are you doing in?” The chirpy voice of the BAU’s technical analyst Penelope Garcia filled his ear, and he turned to see her standing next to him, a box of files in her arms.

“I am. That’s why I’m here. I need to talk to him. Is he in his office?” He was very conscious of Garcia’s eyes drifting over to Seph, a curious look on her face.

“Of course. Rossi’s in there with him though.” She was now openly staring at his companion.

“Alex, Morgan and JJ are out today aren’t they?” he asked her, praying that their guest spot at the local college hadn’t been cancelled. He could just about handle Penelope, but wasn’t sure he could deal with Morgan’s questions right now.

“They are indeed. Now…. Who’s this? You’re being very rude Dr Reid. Introduce me to your friend, whose bag I have to say, I adore.” Garcia’s eyes had drifted to the hand bag Persephone was carrying.

“I’m Seph. Hi,” She gave a little wave, similar to one Spencer himself would normally give.

“Seph, this our Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia.”

“Technical Analyst? Technical goddess more like. How many times have I saved your life from the comfort of my computer chair Spencer?…. I deserve a better introduction than that.” She slapped him playfully on the arm, smiling at him before looking back at Seph.

“Okay fine! I’m sorry,” he laughed at the little pout on his colleagues face. “This is Penelope Garcia, soul saviour of the BAU and the very heart of our team. Better?”

“Much…..You go through and see the boss man. I’m going to drill Seph for details on how you two know each other and why I do not know about her.”

“There’s nothing to know Pen.”

“Oh sweetie, this is the first time you’ve bought a girl into work with you, there’s always something to know.”

He should have definitely left her at the apartment. He shot Seph a look, her tilting her head slightly at him. ‘Go’ she seemed to be saying ‘I’ll be fine’.

“Okay. I won’t be long,” he started to walk through the bull pen and up to his boss’s office, hearing Penelope pulling Persephone along with her to Spencer’s desk.

“Sit sit…. Now how do you know our resident boy genius?” He could hear her asking.

“We old friends. We met a few years ago in a book store and exchanged details …… We lost touch for a while, only reconnecting recently.”

Nicely done Seph, met in the book store. Just please don’t weave too elaborate a tale, he thought to himself before knocking on his Aaron’s door.

“Come in.”

He entered, seeing his Supervisor Aaron Hotchner behind his desk, and Agent David Rossi sitting opposite, piles of paperwork between them. Cold cases, Reid saw recognising one the names.

“Sir…. I was hoping I could talk to you about the personal time you suggested I take. I…. erm, I’d like to extend it and use the rest of my owed vacation time.”

Reid pulled up a seat next to Rossi, seeing his boss studying him carefully.

“Is there any specific reason for this Dr Reid? Dave, do you mind excusing us for a few moments.” Agent Hotchner spoke to the other agent obviously deciding that he needed to speak with Reid in private. It wasn’t often Spencer asked to take time off so his request must have alarmed him somewhat.

Rossi stood to leave but Reid held his hand up. “Rossi it’s fine. There’s nothing I can’t say to Hotch that I can’t say in front of you. I just… need some personal time is all. I know it’s short notice and I’ll take it unpaid if I have to, but something’s come up that I need to deal with. And it’s going to take me a while to deal with. I can still consult on things if it’s urgent, but I’d need to do it from home.”

Please don’t ask questions, please please please.

“Is it your mother Spencer? Has something happened?” Aaron watched his reactions carefully and Spencer worked hard on keeping a neutral expression. He shook his head.

“It’s nothing to do with my Mom. It’s… erm a friend who needs help with something.” Seph was kinda a friend right? They were going to be spending the next three weeks together at least. That wasn’t something you did with someone who wasn’t a friend.

“Does this friend happen to be the Bella-Morte you walked in with?” Rossi piped up, glancing at Reid’s face.

How the hell could he tell? She looked totally different from her publicity pictures.

“Didn’t think I’d notice kid?”

“Erm no. How do you know she’s a Bella-Morte though?”

“I know her father. I’m Italian, her family is Italian…..well the name is. I’ve been to a few of their Gala’s and charity events in my time. The question is… How do you know her? What is Dr Spencer Reid doing with Persephone Bella-Morte?”

Spencer glanced between the two profilers wondering how much to say. It wasn’t his story to tell and it definitely was not his place talk about it with someone who knew her father.

“Reid?” Hotch questioned.

“I met her last night okay. And I’m helping her with some issues. Some personal issues.”

“Personal issues that her family or fiancé can’t help her with?” Rossi shot back.

“Ex fiancé And no, they can’t,” Spencer folded his arms across his chest, glancing out of the office window and seeing Seph and Garcia still deep in conversation, Garcia admiring the bag again.

The two men exchanged looks, unable to hide their concern and wondering what their co-worker had gotten himself into.

“Look it’s nothing bad okay. It’s nothing illegal, nothing that’s going to cause problems for me.”

Well, providing his plan worked.

“I just met her last night and got talking to her and it turns out we have some things in common. She’s going through some things and I offered to help. Now can I have the time off as vacation or not?”

“And if I say no? And refuse to process the request for unpaid leave?” Hotch looked out of the window, watching Persephone interact with Penelope.

“Hotch this is important to me. This is something I need to do and I will do it. I’ll write my notice out, it’s that important.”

It was. It really was.

“Spencer, I’ll grant your request. But will you ask your friend if she’ll come in here and speak with me privately for a moment?"

“Okay. But she might not want to.”

“That’s fine. Ask her please. Dave, I’ll need you to leave too if she comes in.”

Spencer left the room, asking Seph if she’d speak with his boss. She looked confused but agreed and followed him to the office.

“Persephone, long time no see. How’s your father?” Rossi greeted the girl, leaning in and kissing her cheek.

“He’s good, thanks David, he missed you at the Black and White ball.” She smiled at the older man, her eyes shifting to Hotch cautiously.

“Ah well, saving lives sometimes gets in the way of me having a good time. I’ll hopefully make the next one. Spencer, shall we wait outside?”

He left the room reluctantly, wanting to hover outside the closed door until Rossi led him away to where Garcia was still seated.

He barely paid attention to her questions, him wondering what the hell Aaron was asking her.

They emerged fifteen minutes later, Hotch escorting her back to the bull pen.

“Persephone, I wish you luck with your endeavours and hope that you’ll return our resident genius to us in one piece.”

“Persephone? You’re The Damned Dead Queen? That’s how you have that bag, you made it! I follow your blog! Oh honey, you need to bump me up your waiting list for one of these babies,” Garcia exclaimed excitedly as Hotch pulled Spencer off to one side.

“What did she tell you?” he asked nervously.

“That you found her hanging off the side of a bridge and that you’ve made it your personal mission to save her.” His Supervisor spoke quietly, his tone neutral.

“Reid, whilst I applaud you for trying to do what you think to be the right thing here, you’re surely aware that this could and possibly will end badly?”

“I am. But I have to try right? It’s like I was there for a reason. And you know I don’t believe in fate. If I fail, then I fail, but I have to try.”

“To try and fail is acceptable, but to fail without trying isn’t. Do what you have to do Reid, I’ll grant you the rest of your holiday. But be careful. Please.”

“I will. Thank you Sir.” He started to walk away from his boss, Seph seeing this and breaking away from Rossi and Garcia and making her way towards him ready to leave.

“Oh and Spencer?” Hotch called after him, stopping him in his tracks.

“To me, this is very clearly about Maeve.”


	10. Chapter 10

Seph followed Spencer out of his office quickly, seeing the unhappy look on his face. Something his supervisor had said had obviously annoyed him and he stalked away from his boss without a backwards glance. She hurried after him as he hit the pavement outside, his long legs putting him strides ahead.

“Spencer….. Spencer!” He didn’t respond and he didn’t slow down either.

“SPENCER REID!”

He stopped and she caught up with him finally.

“Are you okay? Stupid question actually, you’re clearly not.”

“I just want to get back to the apartment.” He started walking again, his pace slightly slower than before to allow her to walk in line with him.

“Who’s Maeve?” she asked quietly.

“What?”

“To me, this is very clearly about Maeve. That’s what your boss said. Who is Maeve, and what does he mean?” Seph had seen the expression on his face change when Agent Hotchner had mentioned that name and she knew it was that which had triggered his reaction.

“I don’t want to talk about it here.”

“But you will tell me about it? Because the way he said it makes me think he means you’re only helping me because of her, whoever she is. I want to know why.”

“Later maybe. Look, can we please just get home. It’s five already. Didn’t you say the food delivery would be here soon?”

Persephone nodded. “Okay, later.”

…

It was much later when Seph saw Spencer again. They’d gotten back to the apartment and he’d gone straight to the bedroom he’d chosen for the next three weeks, shutting the door hard.

Considering how reluctant he’d been to leave Seph in the apartment alone previously, she’d been very surprised that he’d shut himself away. He must be upset but she didn’t know him well enough to know whether she should pry or not. Seph chose to leave him alone for a while, accepting the grocery delivery Andrea had arranged and unpacking it, pouring herself a glass of wine as she put everything away. Andrea had thought of everything, all the basic food items plus toiletries like bubble baths and soaps.

Feeling at a loss she decided to have a bath, taking the wine bottle into the bathroom. The tub was huge and as Seph slid under the bubbles she felt a sense of calm settling over her. Persephone loved the bath, she could spend hours in one just reading or thinking, occasionally falling asleep and waking up to cold water. Closing her eyes she felt herself drifting off and decided to just let the tiredness over take her.

When Seph woke up a good hour and a half had passed. She quickly washed her hair and shaved her legs, wrapping herself in the towels the apartment rental company had provided and heading back to her room to moisturise and get changed. Slipping into the oversized t-shirt she slept in, Seph pulled on a pair of sleep shorts and wandered back to the living area. The door to Spencer's room was still closed, he’d been in there for three hours now. Time to intervene. She grabbed another wine glass, tucking the bottle under her arm and went to knock on his door. Not hearing an answer, she tentatively turned the handle to the door pushing it open.

He was lying on his bed on his side, music playing quietly on the laptop he’d bought with him from his home. Mozart, she recognised. Although Spencer’s eyes were closed, she could tell he wasn’t asleep.

Placing the two glasses and the bottle on the bedside table, she crawled on the bed next to him and lay behind him. Unsure how to proceed at first, she made a judgement call and scooted closer to him. Reaching out with with her hand she began stroking his arm gently, seeing him stiffen to begin with. Seph continued, remembering how Alex used to climb into bed and do this to her whenever she were feeling down. She didn’t have to say anything, but Seph knew she was there and that made all the difference.

He slowly began to relax and after a while she wriggled closer so that they were almost spooning, but not quite. Although properly spooning him would have been out of the question anyway, him being too tall. Seph let her arm drop, her hand resting near his, not quite sure whether she should take it into hers as Alex would normally have done.

“Sorry,” he whispered quietly, his voice slightly croaky.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”

“Yes I do. I shouldn’t have taken you with me, shouldn’t have let Hotch interrogate you like I’m sure he did.”

Seph flexed her fingers slightly feeling for his wrist in the dark and tentatively stroking the little bone that jutted out.

“He didn’t interrogate me. He was concerned about you and why you suddenly felt compelled to take time off work and help someone you barely knew. So I told him the basics. He assured me he wouldn’t say anything to anyone but that he’d strongly recommended that I seek professional help and guidance from someone other than you.”

“He said that?” Although his voice was still barely above a whisper, she could still detect the annoyance in it.

“He said you’d had a rough enough year already and that if you became attached to me and couldn’t save me, then it would pretty much break you. Not in those exact words but that was the gist. He was very nice about it and offered to put me in touch with a professional. I don’t want that though. But I don’t want you to feel that you have to do this. He was right. We barely know each other. Aside from what Google will have told us. If you want to leave then leave. You don’t owe me anything, Spencer.”

“I don’t want you to kill yourself. Please don’t do it.”

“I can’t say that I won’t. Because it feels like the best way out still. An end to the disappointment that is my life. An end to the feelings of worthlessness and failure. And an end to feeling like I have to please everyone else but myself.”

“You don’t have to feel that way though. You’re not a failure. You at least tried. Some people don’t even manage that.”

“I do feel that way though. I’m just tired of trying. Tired of existing….. If it means anything to you though, I’m glad you found me last night. It’s enlightening to know that some stranger would stop and actually act like they care about me."

It was, and it was one of the only things making Persephone reconsider her choice.

She’d known Spencer Reid for less than 24 hours but she knew now that if she went ahead with her original plan, it would impact on him. Never mind what it would do to her friends and family - she’d gotten over that four weeks ago when she’d come to the decision that she was going to end her life. But this kind hearted stranger who had taken her into his home and was willing to give up three weeks of his life trying to change her mind…..well that bothered her. More than she wanted to admit.

“I’m not acting Persephone. I do care. I think you could have a fantastic life if you wanted to. You could make it fantastic.”

Seph’s hand found his in the dark, sliding her fingers through his and squeezing.

“I don’t know how to though.”

“Which is why I’m going to help you. I said that I would and I’m not backing out. Regardless of what Hotch thinks. He may be right but I need to try. In fact, Hotch summed this up himself. ‘To try and fail is acceptable, but to fail without trying is not.’ So I’m going to try to change your life. Starting with tonight.”

He squeezed her hand back before pulling away from and rolling off the bed. Standing up, he moved to the chest of drawers and picked up a wooden box.

“You wanted to learn to play chess right? Let’s go. Let’s cross the first item off your list.”

Chess. Well, it was on her list. Why Seph had added it when she was fifteen, she didn’t know. But it was there, and she had a man willing to teach her.

“Okay. But first. Food. I need something to soak up the wine if I’m going to learn how to kick someone’s ass at a game.”

He laughed. "The only way you’d win is if I let you. But I’ll go easy on you to begin with.”

“I’d much prefer it if you went hard on me, Spencer Reid,” Seph purred in her best flirtatious voice, grinning at him.

He just laughed, the sadness from earlier evaporating.

“Come on Persephone,” he emphasised her full name. “Let’s get some food. I’ll begin on easy, and then if you can handle the pressure, I’ll go harder.” He raised his eyebrows and her grin grew wider.

So the boy could flirt after all. Nice.

Seph crawled off his bed and followed him to the kitchen. She’d press him for details on this Maeve person another time


	11. Chapter 11

A hour later and Spencer and Seph were sitting outside on the balcony, heating lamps turned on to ward off the autumn chill, a bottle of wine and a chess board between them on the table.

Spencer set the board up, Seph watching him intently with her legs crossed underneath her on the chair and a blanket she’d found in one of the closets wrapped around her shoulders.  
They had a quick dinner of pasta and chicken, Seph melting cream cheese and using it to flavour the pasta.

Spencer could tell that Persephone had wanted more details about Maeve and why it had caused him to storm off when Hotch had bought her up. Shutting himself off from her as they got back to their home away from home, he’d thought back to his boss’s words, realising that to some extent he was right. He hadn’t been able to save Maeve, he’d done his best to negotiate with her killer but she’d seen through his ruse and pulled the trigger anyway. This was a different situation, he was trying to save someone from themselves rather than another person even though he knew that really, the only person who could truly save Persephone was herself. But essentially it was the same thing. Spencer Reid trying to come to the rescue. He wondered how badly this would break him if he failed. And that was why Hotch was worried about him.

He’d been surprised when she’d joined him on his bed, her touch startling him initially but then calming and soothing him. He would normally have shrugged anyone else touching him off and asked them to leave him alone. But she’d left him alone for long enough and well, he needed to stop brooding. The incident had happened months ago now, but it still cut like a knife to the bone whenever someone mentioned her.

Surveying the chess board in front of him, he took a sip of his wine before glancing at his opponent.

“How much do you know about chess?” he asked Seph, wanting to gage her knowledge first.

“That I have to check mate someone? And to protect my King at all costs right?”

“Kind of.” Spencer went on to explain the basics and how the game worked, surprised to see that her eyes didn’t glaze over as people’s normally did when he talked about a topic for any length of time. She actually looked interested, leaning forward in her seat and interrupting him to ask questions if she didn’t understand something.

“The important thing to remember is that you shouldn’t be trying to check mate your opponent in the opening. You should be focusing on getting your pieces to their optimal places on the board. You ready to try?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be Spencer Reid. Just… Go easy on me.” She wriggled on her seat, uncrossing and recrossing her legs.

“I thought you didn’t want that Persephone.” The emphasis on her full name again. He could see this was now going to be their thing. Wow… Knowing someone for 24 hours and already having a thing. Hopefully a thing that wouldn’t be over in 23 days.

“I see you’ve chosen to take my flirting in the good way,” she grinned at him and took a gulp of wine.

He nodded at her, a slight smile on his lips. He had chosen to take her flirting in a positive way. Initially he’d felt awkward and wasn’t sure how to take her remarks, but seeing the smile on her face when he bantered back was worth any awkwardness he felt. It was a smile that reached her eyes too, not one that looked false and plastered on.

“Okay so white goes first so I’ll move okay. Just ask if you’re not sure and I’ll try to hint at what you should do without out rightly telling you.”

He moved his first piece, waiting for her move.

…

Three hours later and Seph was staring intently at the chess board. They’d played through three games already, she’d picked it up quickly after the first go and Spencer was actually enjoying playing against her.

It was rare he lost a game of chess, the only person who’d been able to beat him had been Gideon. Normally he was very good at anticipating an amateurs next move, having already mapped out the game in his head. Seph wasn’t playing like an amateur though. He could see her studying the board, her lips moving as she recounted the rules in her head, running through her possible moves. And when she did move, it was often the opposite to how he’d expected her to go, causing him to actually have to think his turn through. A bit more practice and she could actually turn out to be a formidable player. But she wasn’t going to win tonight.

Nope.

She moved and he checked the board seeing what she hadn’t. Three moves later and “Check mate.” He had her King trapped, with no available moves on her side.

She let out a groan of frustration, closing her eyes briefly. When she opened them she stared at him, “I thought I might have had you then. But I doubted myself and went a different way.”

She thought she might have had him?

“Show me what you would have done differently.”

She reset the board back to two moves prior and showed him.

“I thought if I moved this piece to here,” she mimicked her actions on the board, “Then you would have had to move here, and then I could have moved this piece to that square and checked you. But I couldn’t remember if it was an illegal move or not and I didn’t want to ask.”

This girl would definitely be a formidable player after a few more practices.

“You should have gone with your instincts Seph. If you’d have done that, then I would have lost for the first time in five years….. To an amateur as well. Wow.” He couldn’t hide the astonishment from his voice.

“Can we play again another day?” she asked.

“We definitely can. But I have to say, I’m exhausted. Which is my only excuse for not being able to see that move you could have pulled in the first place. And it’s quite late. So bed? Tomorrow we’ll see about how we can accomplish some of these other points okay.”

“Okay.”

Spencer stood to go inside, packing up the chess pieces and board. Seph made no move to follow him. He turned to her about to say something when she beat him to it.

“I’m just gonna stay out for a bit longer okay. It’s nice out here. Don’t worry, I won’t fling myself over the edge, I promise,” she gave him a small smile, pulling the blanket around her tighter.

“Okay…..let me know if you need anything.”

Her mood seemed to have dropped suddenly and he sensed that she wanted to be alone for a bit. He didn’t think she’d try anything, him now believing that she would keep her word.

Just as he was about to go through the door, he heard her say to him softly, “Thank you.”

…

Spencer couldn’t sleep. He’d been trying to for an hour but it wasn’t coming. His mouth felt dry so he heaved himself off the bed and made his way to the kitchen.

To his surprise the heating lamp was still on outside and as he made his way to the balcony door, he could see that Seph was still outside.

Her knees were tucked up to her chin, her arms wrapped around them and he could make out the movement of her shoulders racking gently. She was crying.

Did he go out to her? She’d stayed out there because she’d wanted to be alone.

But then again, she’d come in to him earlier and her presence had helped.

Making a decision he opened the door and stepped out, walking over to her and kneeling to the floor in front of her.

Her face was buried in her arms but he’d seen her move when he’d opened the door. She knew he’d come out to her.

Wordlessly he placed his hands on her arms, his thumbs making small stroking gestures. She sniffed and raised her head, her red rimmed eyes meeting his, tears streaming down her face. Lowering her knees she moved forward suddenly, wrapping her arms around his neck and clinging to his t-shirt, her face now buried into his shoulder her tears soaking the thin material.

Surprised by the sudden contact, he acted quickly and pulled her closer, his own arms now around her waist and rubbing her back in what he hoped was a soothing measure.

Not knowing the words to say to ease he pain, he just let her cry. He couldn’t take away her pain, but he could hold her whilst she cried through it.

He’d hold her for as long as it took.


	12. Chapter 12

Persephone had been crying for at least forty minutes before Spencer had come outside. She hadn’t even wanted to cry, she’d just wanted a few moments to herself. And then a shooting star had burst across the sky. The only other time Seph had seen one had been with Alex and that had been a few a years ago when they’d taken a beach holiday to Greece together. Seeing the star had just made her remember that holiday and all the good times they’d had together, and as Seph thought about her dead best friend, the tears had started to fall, turning into loud sobs shortly after.

Spencer had come outside and just been there for her. Without saying anything. This person who she’d known for a day, had bought more comfort to her by just holding her and letting her cry, than Seph’s family and friends had. She didn’t know how long she’d clung to him, but he never made her feel as though he was annoyed with her for crying on him. He’d just rubbed her back and smoothed Seph’s hair, wrapping the blanket that had slipped off her shoulders back around them both. When she was all cried out she pulled away from him and apologised, now exhausted.

“You don’t need to be sorry, Seph. Are you okay now?” he asked quietly, eyes full of concern.

“I think so. Thank you…. for that. It’s actually been so long since someone else has seen me cry but I seem to be doing it a lot around you.”

When he’d found her at the bridge, she’d been crying. It always seemed to happen outside, near large drops. Huh.

Seph thanked him again, reaching up and kissing his cheek lightly before taking herself off to bed, the darkness of sleep coming almost instantly.

…

When she awoke the next morning it was to the smell of bacon cooking and the sounds of clattering coming from the kitchen. Seph checked her phones quickly, seeing messages from her Mum, Edward, and Helen. She ignored the one from Edward, quickly replying to her Mother and then reading Helen’s.

Helen missed her and wondered when she’d be coming back to the city. She’d heard about Edward and was sorry he was such a dick head.

Helen was Persephone’s ‘sort of’ assistant. She’d started working at Lux when she was 17 to Seph’s 23, on a work based apprenticeship and she’d been placed in the Branding and Design department. Despite the age difference, she and Hels had struck up a friendship and she’d been taken on at Lux full time when her apprenticeship had ended.

When Seph announced she was leaving, Helen had begged to come with her and work as her assistant. But Seph couldn’t afford to pay her. So she’d remained at Lux, working her arse off there and then coming to help in the evenings and weekends, wherever she could. Seph had promised her that if TDDQ did ever take off then she’d hire her full time and pay back pay for all her help and efforts. She was genuinely as excited as Seph had been, wanting to be part of something new, and she had an eye for design and detail too, as well as a brain full of ideas.

She was another person who Persephone had shut out when Alex had died, and she knew she’d hurt her by doing so. Seph replied to her message telling her that she missed her too and that hopefully she’d be back in a few weeks. Hels replied almost immediately saying she couldn’t wait to see her and to let her know if she could do anything. Seph had forgotten how kind and caring the girl was, someone else she hadn’t really considered in her decision making process.

Pulling herself out of bed and slipping her shorts and t-shirt on Seph made her way into the kitchen, seeing Spencer plating up bacon and eggs, the bacon only slightly burnt.

“I was just about to come and wake you up,” he said when he saw her enter.

“The burning smell woke me up instead,” Seph teased, smiling at him as she pulled up a seat at the breakfast bar and pouring a glass of OJ from the jug on the table.

“Well I had to toss the first lot, I forgot they were under and they were burnt to a crisp. These aren’t quite as bad, but I can make more?”

“Nah, they look fine..I prefer my bacon slightly burnt anyway. Although I’ll always prefer English bacon to this American stuff.”

“What’s the difference exactly?” Spencer placed two plates down, along with cutlery and then climbed onto the seat next to her.

“I can’t explain it, you’d just have to taste it to know….. If you go to England, you’ll have to try it.”

“Well maybe you could take me to somewhere in England to try it. What’s better than trying something English, in England, with an English person?”

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, seeing him doing the same thing back as he took a mouthful of scrambled eggs. Seph knew what he was doing, trying to get her to make plans for the future.

“Maybe…..”

“Maybe.”

“We’ll see,” she countered.

“I can work with that. Now…. Your list. We’ve crossed chess off right? You can now play and you very nearly beat me. Clearly a fluke……But that’s one thing done.” He took another mouthful.

“Yep. One thing down,” she agreed.

“The Inca Trail, we’re not going to be able to achieve that in the next 22 days. Can we put that on hold for after your birthday? I’d love to visit Machu Picchu but it’s not something we can do at the drop of the hat, we need permits and a guide. So…. I was thinking we could book it for next year."

“We? And next year……”

“I’m working on the assumption that we achieve everything else and you change your mind. And yes, we. It’s something I’d like to do as well. So, could we do it together?” He was nervous asking the last question, his voice going up an octave.

Seph considered his request.

“Okay. If my mind gets changed, then it’ll be a pleasure walking the Inca Trail with you Spencer Reid.” It probably would be too.

“Okay so the next thing, performing at karaoke or an open mic night. I presume this means you can sing?”

“People tell me I can, and I was in a few shows at school. But I’ve never really performed anywhere else. Never really had the guts to do it. Alex made me put that one on the list too. She thought it would be good for me to get out there. That it would give me confidence.”

“Can you sing for me now?” he asked, finishing the last of his breakfast.

“Nope….. it’s too early for that shit. Pull up YouTube on your phone and search for Alexandra The Great. It’s a YouTube channel she made years ago, and she posted a video of me singing when I was about twenty. I presume it’s still there. I was recording an audition tape for a reality show in Britain and she found it.”

“Did you apply then?” he pulled out his phone, searching.

“Oh I applied, and I was asked to come in for the televised auditions. But my parents found out and told me if I went, they’d cut me off. They do that lot apparently, threaten to cut me off. It just wouldn’t do to have a Bella-Morte appearing on some trashy TV show,” Seph mimicked her mother with the last line.

“Okay, I’ve found her account. There’s two videos showing a Seph Dawn. Maybe and I’m So Sick. I don’t think I recognise either of the song names.”

“One’s a Kelly Clarkson cover, that was my audition, and the other is me messing about on the game Rockband. It’s a band called Flyleaf. I forgot she’d posted that. Don’t watch it, it gets a bit…. screamy. Also… Wear headphones please. I don’t need to hear myself right now, it makes me cringe.”

He slid off his stool and strode into his bedroom, returning with his ipod and headphones. He disconnected them and plugged them into his phone, sitting back down.

Finishing her breakfast Seph collected the plates and rinsed them off, loading them into the dishwasher along with the other dishes and utensils Spencer had used to prepare the meal. Ten minutes later he removed the headphones, turning on the stool to look at her.

“You’re good. Very good. And the Rockband one…. The noises that came out of your mouth. Woah. You can play the guitar too?” In the Kelly Clarkson cover, Seph had accompanied herself on an acoustic guitar.

“Piano too. The boarding school I was at focused heavily on music as an extra curricular activity. And yeah…. The noises hurt, but I wanted to see if I could do it.”

“And you could. Okay. We can cross this one off your list fairly easily. I just need to speak to Garcia. She’ll know somewhere that has a decent open mic night. Do you know what you’d sing?” He started texting on his phone.

“I think so yes.” Persephone had a good idea of a song she’d sing and if the bar had a keyboard, she could accompany herself too. If not, she’d just buy one.

“Good… And maybe the kiss a complete stranger could come off the back of this… If we’re in a bar anyway, they’ll be plenty of willing men I’m sure. If he’s someone you like, then perhaps the spending a whole 24 hours devouring someone could come from that too,” he blushed slightly as he mentioned the last point and she giggled.

“Maybe…. Who knows? Have you ever done that Spencer Reid, spent a full 24 hours in bed with someone?” She watched him open and close his mouth a few times before answering.

“No, I haven’t. It’s not often I spend a full night with someone. Generally it’s just sex and then one of us leaves. And it’s not very often it happens either.”

“And why not?” Why not indeed. Spencer was definitely attractive enough, but then again he did seem somewhat awkward. He was missing that raw confidence that some men had. If he had that, he’d be unstoppable Seph were sure.

“It just doesn’t.” He looked away from her as he spoke, embarrassed.

“But you’d like it too?”

“I don’t…. I don’t know okay. Most girls don’t like me. I ramble, my hair’s too long and I’m weird. I don’t know how to to talk to girls unless it’s in a professional manner.”

“Some girls like weird… And you talked to me. You managed to talk me back over to the other side of a bridge. Alright, you’re not conventionally attractive. I’ll give you that. But you ARE attractive. And you’re kind and genuine and smart. And you care. That counts for a lot.”

“You think I’m attractive?” Was that all he’d taken from that?

“I do actually. Which is odd because you’re not what I’d normally find attractive. But yes, I think you’re hot.”

He blushed even deeper than before, fidgeting in his seat as Seph had a thought. Maybe he could be her “change someone else’s life for the better." If he was lacking a partner it seemed to be because he didn’t realise what a catch he was. Perhaps she could help him realise and help him find someone. In three weeks.

Spencer’s phone started to ring and he frowned at the number, before realisation dawned on his face and he stood, quickly retreating to his bedroom, explaining that he needed to take the call.

Seph continued tidying up the kitchen as she waited for him to finish, wondering what the plan for the day would be. He returned fifteen minutes later.

“How easy would it be for your clothing designs to be altered?” he asked, cell phone still in his hand.

“If they were being taken in, fairly easy. If they were being let out, it would take a bit more time but it would still be doable. Why?”

“Can you have your designs couriered here? Along with your materials. Specifically these five dresses?” He swiped through pictures on his phone that were attached to an email.

“I can probably have them here tomorrow if I needed to.”

“Okay. Do that please. We’ll need to make plans to get to LA too.”

“Wait why?”

“I can’t say right now. But….. Can you do it? And I’ll sort travel arrangements out.”

“No you won’t…. If this is to help me, take my credit card.”

He fought her for a bit on this, but Seph were stubborn too and eventually he relented, taking her card and tapping away on his phone some more. Seph called Helen, her gushing when she picked up the phone. After speaking to her for a few minutes, she got down to business, asking if Helen could go to her apartment and arrange to courier the items along with her sewing materials over to you. She’d get on it ASAP Helen told her, agreeing to text her when the arrangements had been made. They chatted for a while longer, Seph realising how much she’d missed talking to her. When she hung up Persephone was definitely intrigued, wondering what her new friend had in store and how it involved LA.

Finding him in the living area she asked him what their plans for the day were.

“Some more chess?” he offered.

“So you don’t want to go back to bed for 24 hours then and help me tick that off?”

His mouth resembled a goldfish’s again.

“Chess it is. ”


	13. Chapter 13

The rest of the morning had been spent talking with Seph and playing chess in the apartment. Spencer couldn’t help but feel optimistic about his plan to help her with her business. The contact he’d spoken with had been genuinely excited about the designs and depending on what happened in three days, this could have a huge impact and hopefully be enough for Seph to get the business started.

He’d been surprised to hear her singing, her voice not at all what he’d expected from talking to her. Her speaking voice changed dramatically depending on what she was talking about. Spencer had picked up that when she was happy, it was more bubbly, more tone and variance to it. If she was flirting or being sarcastic, it was a drier tone, more dead pan and drawn out, lazy sounding almost. And if she was sad or contemplative, it was quiet and soft, and she sounded very young and somehow more english. Her singing voice wasn’t like any of sounds he’d heard coming from her, it was strong and clear, powerful yet sweet. He’d asked her before they set about playing chess what plays she’d been in and who she’d played. And he hadn’t been surprised to discover that she’d had roles like Eponine and Elphaba in her schools productions, her voice clearly being able to handle the songs. The Flyleaf song had shocked him though. He wasn’t familiar with the song, and when it kicked in and he’d heard the scream, he’d jumped a little, wondering how someone so small could make that noise. She’d told him that it hurt, and that she could no longer do it, and he wasn’t surprised.

He’d messaged Penelope asking for a decent bar than ran open mic nights, her immediately pestering him for more information. When he’d told her it was for Seph, her immediate response had been, “The Damned Dead Queen sings too? Oh my sweet sweet genius, I am definitely coming to see that.” He wasn’t sure how Seph would feel about that piece of information, but he was sure he’d work something out.

Penelope messaged him again a few hours later, giving him the name of a bar that had an open mic night tomorrow and had a spot left. They had to go sign up in person though.

Eating a quick lunch together, they got ready and headed back out into the city. The bar was a fair few blocks away, taking them a good twenty five minutes to walk there.

They talked as they walked learning more things about each other and discovering that they had a similar taste in TV shows and films. Seph loved movies, all movies, and given her connections she’d been to a fair few film festivals, including Cannes. Spencer was jealous and expressed his feelings so, Seph laughing.

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll take you next year okay?”

Realising what she’d said a few seconds later, she clamped her hand over her mouth.

“Seph, it’s okay you know. You can make plans for the future.” He stopped in the street and tugged her hand away from her mouth, finding the gesture somewhat intimate in a way.

“But it’s a future I haven’t decided if I’m living yet…. ” she whispered quietly, continuing to walk on.

“You don’t have to decide yet, but make plans. Give yourself something to look forward to. Like Machu Picchu. We can do that together and we can do Cannes together, and you can take me to England to eat bacon.” He caught up with her, catching a look at her face and seeing her mouth set in a thin line, her eyes glazed over and her thoughts now somewhere else.

“I’m sorry,” he said gently, pulling her to the side of the pavement. They were at their destination although Seph had nearly walked past it.

She looked down at the ground for a moment, briefly closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “It’s okay. Are we here?”

“Yep. Garcia says this is the place… Although, she erm… wants to come and watch.”

Seph shrugged her shoulders, “That doesn’t bother me. I’ve asked Helen to send a bag for her as well seeing as she actually follows my blog and knows the brand. So I need to see her again anyway.”

“You realise if she comes, she’ll end up dragging the rest of the team with her right?”

“Your Supervisor and Rossi will be discreet about who I am, I’m sure. And Agent Hotchner promised he wouldn’t repeat my conversation with him, unless it was with a coroner.”

“They’d be discreet. But Garcia is an internet whiz….. She’ll have discovered who you actually are by now, now that she’s met you and knows you run that site.”

“Ah…. Okay. Well….. Hmmmm. Okay.”

“Pen can be discreet too if she has too.”

“Alright, let’s go sign me up.”

They entered the bar together, seeing that it was quite busy already even though it was only mid afternoon. They went straight to the bar, a young girl in a black polo shirt bearing the bars name coming over to greet you.

“Hi! What can I get you?” she asked, a grin plastered on her face.

“My friend called up earlier, has the spot for the open mic night tomorrow been filled?” Spencer spoke to her, leaning over the bar slightly to talk to her.

“Are you Penny’s friends?” the girl responded, grabbing a notepad from behind the bar.

“Er yes, we are.”

“She gave me a name on the phone…. Persephone Dawn. I presume that’s you?” she looked at Seph quizzically. Seph nodded.

“Awesome, great bag by the way.” She nodded to Seph’s bag where she’d placed it on the bar. “So I told Penny that y'all just needed to come down, and play us something first. We kinda pride ourselves on showcasing the best undiscovered artists.”

“I have to play for you now? Like live?” Anxiety suddenly coated Persephone's voice.

“We prefer live yes, just because recordings can be doctored. We’ll go into the back room, you don’t have to do it out here. I’m Ariadne by the way. I’m the entertainment manager here at The Blue Spark. Do you have something you can sing for me?”

“Erm…. I think so yes.” Spencer noticed a slight increase to Seph’s breathing, she was nervous.

“Okay, come round to the back,” Ariadne signalled to a door to the side of the bar, yelling to one of her colleagues to cover her. Seph walked around looking behind her to make sure Spencer was following her. He was.

She walked through the door, meeting Ariadne in the hallway and following her down the corridor and into a store room.

“Do you need any music? Something to accompany yourself with?” she asked her.

“Do you have a piano, or keyboard?” Seph looked around the room to see what she could spot.

“We have a keyboard, let me grab it and set it up.” She disappeared from the room for a few minutes.

“You okay?” Reid placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling how tense she was all of a sudden.

“Yeah…. It’s just been a while since I’ve actually done this in front of anyone.”

“Just breathe okay. I’ve heard you, you’ve got a fantastic voice.” Spencer rubbed her shoulder slightly, watching her lean into his grip and roll her neck, trying to relieve some of the tension.

Ariadne returned a few minutes later carrying a huge electric keyboard. She placed it on some crates and dragged them over to Seph, stronger than she looked. Disappearing again, she returned with an extension cord and plugged the instrument on.

“Sorry, most people bring their own instruments. We have this and a few guitars lying around for those who don’t realise they need to audition for us.”

“Yeah, I didn’t realise.. Sorry.”

“It’s fine… So, whenever you’re ready.” Ariadne perched on another crate across the small room and Spencer stepped away too.

He watched as Seph ran her long fingers over the keys, testing them out first, before starting to form a melody, an opening to a song he didn’t recognise.

Clearing her throat, her eyes closed, she began to sing.

“I push all my problems to the back of my mind  
Then they surface in my dreams, they come alive  
I sweep all my issues to somewhere I can’t find  
In hope that I’ll forget but there’s just so many times  
Why can’t I be strong and just confront all my fears?  
When my fear is hurting you by being sincere  
But how many more days can I run? How many years?  
Emotions flooding and now it’s all seeming so clear  
Crying for no reason, feel the tears roll down  
I felt strong but am I breaking now?  
Crying for no reason ‘cause I buried it deep  
I made promises I could not keep  
‘Cause I never faced all the pain I caused  
Now the pain is hitting me full force”

Spencer definitely didn’t recognise the song, wondering if it was one she’d written herself.

“Katy B, right? I love her…… My friend from London told me about her a few years ago.” Ariadne grinned at Seph.

Obviously not an original song, just an artist Reid hadn’t heard before. Very interesting song choice though. But more importantly, he wanted to know if she’d got the gig.

“Okay! You go on at ten tomorrow. You need four songs, preferably a mix. If you have backing music then you can drop it in tomorrow and we’ll check it plays. If you need instruments and don’t have your own with you then you can use ours. We have a dressing room too if you want to change here. Tables fill up by seven though, so if you have friends wanting to come then tell them to get here early okay.”

“Erm….. Erm….   
”

“Hun relax, you’ve got a great voice. They’ll love you okay. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere right. Paramore played here once when they were starting out, so did John Mayer.”

“Okay. Thanks. We’ll erm.. see you tomorrow,“ Seph stood and started leading Spencer to the door, stopping before she exited.

“Ariadne….. Is there a music shop that sells instruments anywhere nearby? I need to practice and I don’t have anything with me. I need somewhere I can get a keyboard and an acoustic guitar.”

Ariadne thought for a moment, wrinkling her brow.

“All the other players tomorrow have their own instruments…. You’re friends of Penny’s and she’s a good friend of mine. You can take ours okay.”

Persephone looked taken aback, “Are you sure?”

“Yep yep… It’s fine. I know Penny’s good for it. I’ll grab the guitar for you now, just unplug the keyboard.”

She left the room again and Spencer unplugged the instrument, wrapping the cord around it and tucking it under his arm.

“We’ll get a cab home okay. I need to practice. And think of four songs.”

He nodded at Seph and Ariadne returned, handing Seph a guitar case.

“I look forward to seeing you again Persephone Dawn. And I’m interested to see what songs you choose.”

Spencer was too.


	14. Chapter 14

Persephone disappeared into her bedroom as soon as they got back to the apartment, loading up YouTube on her phone and searching for song ideas. Spencer placed the keyboard on the bed and then retreated, telling her he’d be in the living room if she needed him. He’d bought his laptop with him when they’d moved into the apartment, so she wondered whether he’d actually end up doing some work despite the fact that he was technically on vacation.

Nerves were starting to invade Seph’s body now. She’d not performed in front of anyone properly for years and even then it had been either very close friends or an audience of her school friends parents. Somehow, performing in a theatre was less scary than performing to a bar full of people, she didn’t know why. Seph didn’t even know why she’d let Alex put this on the list, it wasn’t that she actually wanted to be a singer. Just…. Maybe just to prove that she could do it? Because if she could stand up in front of a roomful of complete strangers and have them cheer her, maybe she could stand up in front of two people she’d known her whole life and tell them what she didn’t want?

Hmmmm.

…

“Who’s actually coming tonight?” Seph asked Spencer nervously.

They’d arrived at the bar early, Spencer wanting to get a table close to the stage, whereas Seph had wanted one closer to the back. They compromised, settling for the middle.

She’d spent the rest of yesterday rehearsing in her bedroom, sure that she had be doing Spencer’s head in, repeating the same songs and music over and over. When she’d left the bedroom for an aqua break she’d seen him slumped on the couch asleep, headphones on and music playing through an ipod.

She woke him up and made a quick dinner, eating together and watching reruns of Firefly that were showing on TV for a few hours, before heading to bed for a hopefully early night.

Sleep had come quickly and easily again, although when she’d woken up in the morning she had a moment of sadness, quickly shaking herself out of it. Today was going to be a good day she told herself.

Alex’s Mum had messaged overnight, asking how Seph was and confirming that she’d be able to make Seph’s birthday celebrations in a few weeks.

Ugh. She’d forgotten about that. In fact….she had better mention it to Spencer. The New York central Lux was playing host to Persephone’s thirtieth birthday celebrations, a party that would mainly be her parents friends and business partners, as well as the entire family. Any excuse for a big celebration, and Seph knew that her father was expecting to be able to make a speech welcoming his daughter back to Lux.

One way or another, that wasn’t happening.

At around midday the courier delivery from New York had arrived. The five dresses Spencer had pointed out, plus a few other tops, bags and accessories as well as Seph’s sewing kit and materials she might need to make alterations. She was very curious about what he was planning. The flights to LA had been booked for late tomorrow evening, although he wouldn’t tell her what it was for, other than that it could give her some major leads and that he’d planned something else from the list too.

Spencer had inspected her creations, fingering the dresses carefully and complimenting Seph on her designs and workmanship.

“You make these completely by yourself?” he asked admiring the two longer, fancier dressers he’d told her to have shipped.

“Yep. From the paper, to the very last stitch. One hundred percent my work.” Seph was extremely proud of these dresses, not having had a chance to wear them out yet.

“So what happens if this business takes off? Are you wanting to provide tailor made clothes specifically designed for certain people, or clothing available to the masses? How would you cope?” A very good question, one that Seph had had to answer on multiple occasions when presenting her pitch.

“Both actually. The accessories, tops, skirts and the shorter dresses could easily be mass produced. I’d visited a few fashion schools with Helen and we’d assembled a team of designers and seamstresses that would have graduated three months ago. I believe most of them are working dead end jobs now, waiting for their moments to shine and to work in fashion. I would have given them that. The Damned Dead Queen name would have covered the more mainstream and easily accessible items. Whilst dresses like these ones, would have been on a commission base and would fall under a sub brand, Alexandra Dawning. I had it all planned, I just needed investors and a platform to launch the clothes from. And I nearly had both. But then….. well, the accident happened.”

He’d nodded, asking to read her business proposals. She’d had them shipped as well and handed them to him, him reading them astonishingly quickly, commenting that they were extremely well thought out and put together.

Seph had thought so too, she’d worked her ass off on the proposals. Now if only she could get the designs back out there, and get people interested.

She turned to Spencer seeing him take a sip of his drink before answering.

“Penelope is definitely coming….. And she does know who you are by the way. She can find almost anything out online, but she’s assured me she won’t mention your name . She’s bringing Morgan and I believe Alex,” he winced.

“Alex?”

“Alex Blake. She joined the team last year, she’s very nice and she’s one of my closest friends. She helped me a lot earlier in the year when I was going through some….. things.”

Maeve, she’d bet. Although she’d yet to steer the topic back to the mysterious person who’s name had caused Spencer to storm away from his boss.

“In fact….. I can see them now. They’ve just walked in.” He stood, waving across the room to his friends.

Seph stood too, smoothing down her moss green dress and quickly adjusting her hair. She recognised the blonde girl from the other day, her infectious smile grinning as she walked over.

“Hey Spencer! Hey Seph, great to see you again. I’m so excited to hear you singing, Ariadne texted me after she’d seen you, thanking me for filling her empty spot. She must have thought you were good! She doesn’t take just anyone.”

Penelope hugged her, doing the same with Spencer as Seph felt two other pairs of eyes surveying her carefully.

“Pretty boy……. You gonna introduce us to the reason you’ve abandoned us at work?” The tall dark man stood directly to Penelope’s right spoke, Seph detecting a hint of resentment tinged with wonder.

“Erm, Morgan this is my old friend Seph. Seph, this is Derek Morgan and this is Alex Blake.” He turned to the other woman stood there and she smiled. She was older than what Seph had expected, but still very pretty, her eyes kind and smile warm.

An announcement came over the speakers, explaining that the first act was about to begin and asking people to take their seats.

The group sat down, Penelope taking the seat next to Seph’s as Derek went quickly to the bar to get drinks.

“I…. I erm, have something for you Penelope.”

“Presents! For moi?” She grinned widely and Seph reached under the table, handing over the paper bag she’d bought with her.

Penelope opened it quickly, her eyes lighting up when she saw what Seph had given her. It wasn’t quite the same as Seph’s own bag, which she’d been eyeing up the other day but it was similar in design. Penelope turned it over, inspecting it and running her hands over the soft printed fabric.

“Is it okay? I can get you a different one. Or I can just make you a new one?”

“You made that?” Alex leant across the table, Penelope passing the bag to her.

“Yeah… It’s kinda what I do. Or at least, what I want to do. I’m trying to start a fashion line. I erm… I made this dress too.”

“Wow, both are beautiful, Seph. With talents like this I’m sure you’ll have no trouble. So… Where did you say you met Spencer again.” Her question threw Seph off, Spencer catching it quickly.

“Seph and I are old friends, Alex. We met in a book store years ago. She picked up a first edition of an Alice book which I wanted and we started to talk,” Spencer explained, Persephone paying attention to the lie he was telling and storing it away.

“So who got to keep the book then? And why have you never mentioned her to us before…… You shouldn’t keep a pretty lady like this away from your friends, Reid.” Derek had returned, placing a tray on the table with five more drinks.

“I let Seph have it provided she could answer the Mad Hatters riddle,” Spencer glanced at her making sure she was following.

“And could she?”

“I have no idea!” Seph and Spencer said together, laughing at the confused look on his friends face. Persephone looked back over to Alex, seeing her grinning too. She’d got the joke and it seemed Seph had won her seal of approval. Or so she’d thought.

The first act began and Seph settled in to listen, the group talking quietly amongst themselves, working to include her in the conversation. It mainly consisted of Derek teasing Spencer about various things and Spencer blushing. Hearing the other acts sing, Seph was worried. Every one of them was amazing, and she could see why she’d had to audition. Penelope caught her watching the stage and must have noticed the nervous look on her face.

She leant in, whispering, “Relax sweetie. Ari wouldn’t have given you the spot if she didn’t think you were good enough. I can’t believe you’ve never done open mic or karaoke. Spencer told me it was some kind of birthday bucket list right? What songs are you singing?”

Christ… What else had he told her? Although…. Seph didn’t think he would have. And she guessed he had to give her some reason.

“Yeah a birthday bucket list. That’s one way of putting it. And as for the songs…. ” Shit…. A familiar tune started to play and Seph groaned, Spence looking up at catching her eye. He’d heard it too.

“I was gonna play this. I can’t now… Fuck fuck fuck.”

“Have you got something else you can play?” Penelope asked.

“There’s another song I can play on the piano…. But I’m not sure it would go down very well.”

“What is it?” she leant in again.

“Um…” Seph whispered it into her ear.

“Oh baby cakes you should definitely sing that. I love it… And I’ve never heard a female sing it. Only the luscious Jared…. Oh, if only he’d be mine.”

Okay… Maybe if she thought so, she’d obviously been here before so would know what would go down well.

Persephone felt a hand take hers under the table, squeezing it and then dropping it quickly.

“You good?” Spencer asked now he’d got her attention.

“I think so…. It might sound a bit rough though.”

“Rough is sometimes better.”

“Now now now, Spencer Reid….. We don’t need that type of talk here.”

Everyone laughed and she relaxed again

…

“You all ready Seph? You’re up next babe.” Ariadne came over, placing a hand on Seph’s shoulder.

“I think so. Slightly worried cos I’ve had to change a song. Someone else has done it, but I think I know my replacement well enough.”

“Do the replacement first then. Then if it’s not as good, you can improve from there. You’ll be fine.” She smiled before turning to talk to Penelope.

Seph excused herself quickly wanting to freshen up in the ladies, seeing Alex following.

Carefully reapplying her lipstick, she could see Alex watching her carefully.

“Please….. ” She addressed the older woman. “Say what ever it is you want to say to me.”

“Okay. Spencer is an amazing man and a brilliant friend. I’m concerned as to why he’s taken so much time off work to help out someone he’s only just met.”

Seph started to talk but Alex interrupted her.

“I’m a profiler, and I know Spencer pretty well. I know you two haven’t known each other as long as you’re making out. I’m not saying you’re a bad person because you seem nice enough, but I have concerns that you’re going to hurt my friend. And he’s had enough of that this year.” She wasn’t being mean, Seph could tell she was genuinely worried.

“I have no plan on intentionally hurting your friend Alex. And I don’t know what he’s been through exactly, because that’s his own business. But he’s helping me through some pretty serious things right now. You’re right, we haven’t known each that long. But I like him, he’s kind and caring and he just might be what I need right now.”

“But will he be what you need in six months time?” she asked.

“Six months time seems like a lifetime away when I’m barely able to think about tomorrow. Look, I’m not here to mess with him or take advantage. I didn’t ask for his help, he offered and wouldn’t leave when I said no. So I’m taking it. And if in six months time Spencer Reid is still part of my life in some way, then I’d be happy with that. I can imagine he makes most people in his life happy.”

Alex Blake’s face softened slightly, her seeing that Seph meant what she was saying.

“I think I heard them announce your name.”

“So did I… Shit.”

“Go get em… I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

Seph hoped so.

…

Twenty minutes later and Seph was overwhelmed by the applause. She’d started off shaky, missing a few notes on the keyboard and her voice cracking on the chorus of “The Kill” but as she’d moved over to the guitar, she’d felt more comfortable.

She could feel Spencer’s eyes on her as she belted out “Ignorance”, strumming along, noticing a few appreciating smiles from other people in the crowd. As she lowered the tempo for a cover of “Why” Seph started to feel slightly emotional, especially as she sang the last verse of the song.

For the last song she’d been even more nervous, considering how it started and that it wasn’t the sort of song she’d usually sing. But her and Alex had sung this song in a talent contest at school during their teenage years, and since then it had been their thing, starting off as a joke but becoming something they both sang at each other to cheer the other up. Alex had always started the song though, she could rap and Seph….. couldn’t.

She’d been certain she’d fuck up it but she didn’t, or at least she didn’t think she had. But Seph had felt slightly cringey only smiling when she could finally sing the line she’d opened so many phone calls from Alex with.

“Shorty get down, good Lord

Baby got ‘em open all over town”

Seph had changed it slightly to fit an acoustic guitar and not having her best friend with her to do the bits Seph couldn’t. And Persephone had thought it had sounded okay.

The applause and grins from the audience as they bobbed along with beat told they agreed.

Seph thanked the crowed as Ariadne came on stage to announce the final singer, high fiving Seph before she left.

“Girl…… No Diggity….. You are a girl after my own heart. I can’t believe Pretty Boy’s been keening you for himself all these years,” Derek grinned at Seph, punching Spencer in the shoulder.

“Was it okay?” she asked, looking to Spencer for approval. He nodded, rubbing his arm slightly.

“Sweetie pie, it was more than okay.” Penelope agreed, handing over a glass of wine.

The group talked some more, listening to the last act before Derek checked his watch.

“Baby girl, we best head out, boss man wants us in early tomorrow.”

Penelope and Alex stood with him, hugging Seph and Spencer, Garcia’s embrace tighter than Alex’s and saying their goodbyes.

Seph and Spencer’s drinks not finished, they sat back down.

“You were really good by the way. I loved the cover of ‘Why’.”

“Thanks! I actually adore the song, I saw Kelly Clarkson perform it that way years ago and I know it’s sacrilege to say, but I prefer her cover to the original.”

“I think I might prefer your cover to the original too. Sooo… Can we cross that off your list too?” he ask, pushing his hair back behind his ear and fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt.

“I think we can indeed. Two items ticked off. You definitely weren’t kidding me when you said you’d help.”

“I’m thinking we can cross another off too. That guy over there by the door, he’s been watching you all night. He’s with a group of guys and I’m fairly certain from his behaviour that he wouldn’t mind being the stranger you kiss.”

He nodded and Seph followed the direction he was motioning in, seeing an attractive blonde guy. He smiled when he saw her looking and Seph gave him a small grin back.

“Maybe….. As we leave? I’ve never walked up to someone and just kissed them.”

“Just tell them it’s a dare or something…. I get it a fair amount from girls out on their bachelorette parties and things.”

“And do you indulge them, Spencer Reid?” He really didn’t seem the type to.

“Sometimes.”

“Let’s have another drink first. It’s too early to leave.”

One more drink turned into three and the conversation between the two flowed, Seph speaking to him like he was a real friend. Well…. given the circumstances, she guessed he was.

Before they knew it, it was half past midnight.

“You ready to leave?” Seph asked her friend, checking to see if the blonde guy was still around. He was, now surrounded by a group of guys.

“Yep…. You gonna do it?” Spencer followed her gaze.

“I think so. Wait for me by the door. Let’s see how courageous I actually am tonight.”

Seph watched Spencer walk away, seeing him posting himself just inside the door. Taking a deep breath, she strutted over to the blonde, his friends parting when they saw her approaching and nudging him. As she got closer, she realised he was a fair few years younger, possibly a college student. Still, no going back now.

“Excuse me…. I kinda have a bet with my friend over there. He bets that I won’t kiss a complete stranger, and I wanna prove him wrong.”

“Be my guest sweet thing.”

Sweet thing… Ugh.

Seph stood on her tip toes, pressing her mouth to his and feeling his arms slip immediately around her waist. He quickly parted his lips, pushing his tongue sloppily into Seph’s mouth, tasting of cheap beer and breath mints.

She kissed him for at least twenty seconds, thinking that to be the acceptable amount of time for it to class as ‘making out’ with someone, before pulling away.

“Thanks!” She plastered a smile onto her face and turned to walk away.

“Wait! Don’t I get your phone number or your name or something?” The boy called after her.

“Sweet thing, if you were paying attention to my set, you’d know my name.” She heard his friends chuckle as she hurried over to Spencer, grabbing his arm and dragging him out of the door.

“And another item bites the dust,” Spencer commented.

“I should have removed that one. There’s a reason I’m normally picky about who I kiss. Now…. Back to the apartment for more wine? I need something to take away the taste of college frat boy.”

Spencer laughed and started to lead the way, Seph momentarily wondering what it would be like to kiss him before pushing the thought away


	15. Chapter 15

“Flying when hungover….. I’ve remembered now why I don’t do that very often.”

Spencer glanced over at Seph as she settled into the cab that was to take them to their hotel. She looked beat and he didn’t imagine he looked any better. When they’d returned to their apartment last night they’d continued drinking and talking, not realising that it was 4am until it was too late. They’d moved from one topic to another quickly, consuming another three bottles of wine between them.

Seph had been on a high from ticking another two items off her list and Spencer had felt that same rush from helping her do them. They’d sat out on the balcony together under the heating lamps just laughing and talking.

Spencer was starting to worry. He liked this girl. She was fast becoming a close friend, someone he felt he could confide in and talk to about his thoughts and feelings. She was someone who didn’t mock his intelligence and make fun of him for his quirks. And he could talk to her, about life. Not just work. He still hadn’t told her about Maeve and she’d not asked again, but he could sense that it was a conversation that would happen soon. They’d finally gone to bed when they realised how late it was, setting their alarms for midday. They didn’t have to be at the airport until eight. The flight to LA was an overnight one, meaning hopefully they could sleep.

When he’d woken up though, he felt like he’d been hit with a ton of bricks. Red wine hangover. Not good at all. Reid had dragged himself out of his bed, heading into the kitchen in search of water. Quickly drinking a full bottle, he made two cups of strong coffee, placing them on a tray along with another bottle of water and a packet of aspirin he’d found.

Knocking on Seph’s door, he heard a noise that resembled a “What?!? Go away…. I’m dying.”

He was almost pleased that she was feeling as bad as he was, but he pushed open the door anyway, balancing the tray on one hand as he did so.

Persephone rolled over in her bed to look at him. She hadn’t bothered to take her make up off last night and her eyes were rimmed in smudged black eyeliner which trailed down her cheeks. Her hair was all over the place.

“I bought coffee,” he told her, placing a mug on her bedside table before looking around for somewhere to sit so he could drink his.

“In which case, I apologise for telling you to go away. Is that aspirin I see too? Share…..”

He laughed at her before deciding it wouldn’t seem too weird to climb onto the bed with her. Spencer set the tray down and handed her the painkillers and water, and then made his way to the other side of the bed, settling back onto her pillows.

She fiddled with the blister packs, popping two pills and swilling them down with water, before offering them to him. He shook his head declining.

“Have you already had some?” She asked, obviously confused as it was a fresh packet.

“No. I, err… don’t take any sort of pain relief. Unless I’m in hospital and it’s beyond my control,” he told her, taking a sip of the hot coffee.

“Am I allowed to ask why? Or is that too personal?” Seph wiggled back down, pulling the covers up.

“You can ask, I don’t mind. I’ve asked enough about your life.” He had, he felt like he knew her life story now. Continuing on, he explained. “A few years ago, I was kidnapped by a serial killer the BAU were hunting. He….erm, had multiple personalities one of which tortured me, whilst another would inject me with dilaudid to numb the pain. I kinda got addicted to it for a while afterwards. It was stupid of me, risking my career like that.”

Seph didn’t say anything, she just looked at him waiting for more.

“I’m clean now, I normally don’t even drink that much either. But I won’t touch any sort of painkiller. Unless it’s out of my control.”

“Do you still….. get cravings?”

“Yes. More than I care to admit. If I’ve had a particularly bad case then sometimes I’ll find myself wanting the numbness that it will bring. So I just try to find a meeting as soon as I can, or I message my sponsor. I haven’t relapsed. But there’s been times I’ve been close. Very close.”

“Would one of those times have anything to do with Maeve?”

So she hadn’t forgotten then. 

“Yes it was. And….. I will tell you about her, I promise. Just not today okay.”

“Okay. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Spencer Reid.” She touched his forearm lightly.

“No I want to Persephone. You’ve told me about all of the important parts of your life, so I’ll do the same. I want to tell you. I actually feel like you’d understand.”

“I’ll try. Whenever you’re ready. Thank you. For trusting me, and for treating me like a friend.”

“We are friends, right?” Spencer asked.

“I guess we are.”

They’d stayed on her bed for a while longer just talking about the previous night until it was time for them to make a move and start packing for their mini trip.

…

The flight had been horrific at the start. When they arrived at the airport they were told there was a three hour delay. Add that to a nearly six hour flight, with screaming children in the seats in front of and behind them, whilst they were both still extremely hungover, and both Spencer and Persephone had felt like they might cry.

Spencer was normally a patient person, especially when it came to children. But as the child in the seat behind him kept kicking the back of his chair, it was all he could do to restrain himself.

In charge of booking the flights, he’d booked economy not wanting to run up a huge bill on Seph’s card. He could see her looking longingly at the curtain that separated them from first class as she rubbed her temples.

“I’m sorry,” he said helplessly.

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know we’d end up sitting between people who clearly are unable to control their children,” she said the last bit loud enough for both families to hear, causing the father in front to turn around and scowl at her.

“I’ll be right back.” She unbuckled her seat belt and rummaged in the overhead compartment for her purse before walking down the aisle to where the cabin crew were.

Ten minutes later she came back, accompanied by a blonde Air Hostess with an apologetic look on her face.

“Grab your bag Spencer. We’re moving.”

He looked at her confused but grabbed both his and her bags from the overhead locker and followed the hostess through the curtain and into first class.

Showing them to an empty row of three seats by a window she apologised profusely.

“I’m so sorry Ms Bella-Morte. I don’t quite understand how the mix up could have happened. Is there anything else I can get you to make the journey more comfortable for you?”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. It was probably my companions error in the first place, but I do thank you so much for assisting. My family uses this airline a lot. Perhaps some pillows and blankets would help?” She smiled sweetly at the blonde, her voice now very professional and business like.

“Of course, of course.” She scurried off, returning minutes later with two pillows and two blankets before leaving them to it.

“I’m not even going to ask what you said to her because I’m fairly certain that they’re not meant to reseat passengers mid-flight. But thank you so much. I think I would have had a melt down if those children hadn’t stopped screaming.” Spencer took the pillow she offered to him, leaning it against the window and placing the blanket over his lap.

“No problem. And you’re right. She shouldn’t have moved us. But she did and she’s now a few hundred dollars richer and I no longer have to worry about committing murder aboard an airplane. Do you mind terribly if I lean this on you?” She held up her pillow to him and Reid shook his head at her.

Seph adjusted the armrests so that they were upright and placed her pillow on his lap. Curling her feet up, she lay cross the two seats, covered herself in the blanket and settled her head onto the pillow leaving Spencer no choice but to rest his arm on her.

“Is this okay?” she asked him, realising the intimacy of her position.

“It’s fine. Try and get some rest. I know I’m going to,” he told her, shutting his eyes and praying to be able to sleep for the remainder of the flight.

He’d dozed for a bit on and off, waking up to see Seph’s eyes closed and her mouth slightly parted as she slept, her hair falling awkwardly over her face. He reached out to smooth it back behind her ears.

As he watched her sleeping he wondered what was going on in that mind of hers. Was she still seriously considering killing herself? Or was she starting to come around to thinking that maybe life wasn’t so bad after all.

If it reached her birthday and she told him she hadn’t changed her mind, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to walk away from her.

In fact, he knew he wouldn’t. He felt closer to this woman somehow than some of his friends. And he wasn’t about to let her kill herself. He’d have to take drastic measures which he’d feel guilty about doing, but he’d them none the less.

He just hoped he wouldn’t have to.

…

The ride to the hotel took around forty minutes and Spencer could see Seph nodding off again, her eyes slowly closing and her shaking herself every few minutes.

The sleep on the plane didn’t seem to have done either of them much good. With the delay and the time difference, it was approaching 6am in LA. They weren’t meeting his friend until 6pm.

They reached the hotel and checked into their separate rooms. He’d requested adjoining rooms and he’d told her this when he’d made the booking. Just in case. She hadn’t minded, finding it more amusing and making a flirty comment at him.

“How long can I sleep for?” She asked Spencer through the open door.

“We’re not meeting my friend until this evening and I didn’t really have anything planned for today. I’ve been here before and I assumed you had too.”

She nodded, LA had a Lux, of course she’d been here before.

“Maybe sleep until midday if you can and then we’ll go in hunt of food.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Seph closed the door between the rooms but didn’t lock it, and Spencer quickly stripped down to his boxers and crawled into the bed.

Texting his friend to say they were here, his shut of the light and fell into a deep sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Seph woke up an hour before her alarm went off. Although she’d only had another five hours sleep she felt a lot more refreshed and ready to face the day.

Checking her cells, she started responding to the messages she had been letting build up.

Her Mum, asking when she was coming back to New York - Just in time for her birthday, Persephone told her. She still hadn’t broached the topic of her party with Spencer. He’d come, right?

Edward, asking if they could meet up so that he could explain - Nope, not a chance in hell. He’d fucked another woman, which, okay Seph could understand that she’d pushed him away. She weren’t even that mad, not really. But she didn’t love him and she didn’t want him.

Helen, asking how things were going and had the delivery arrived okay - Yes it had, thank you. And things were okay, Seph explained that Spencer had arranged a meeting with someone today that may just have an impact on things.

Various other messages, one from HR at Lux advising that her office was being refurbished in time for her return. Seph didn’t even bother replying to that. She wasn’t going back. One from Penelope, thanking her again for the bag and saying that she hoped to see Seph again. Persephone assumed she’d got her number from Spencer. Or…. He had said she was a technical whizz. Is it possible she found it herself? She weren’t listed anywhere but if the girl was that good?

Stretching out in bed, she cracked her neck feeling the release of tension that had been building.

Shower. And then coffee. Seph called for room service, asking them to bring up a pot of coffee in twenty minutes, giving her enough time to shower.

Room service arrived just as she was wrapping a towel around herself. She let them in and then shrugged the plush hotel robe over the towel before opening the interlocking door into Spencer’s room.

He was still lying in bed, but he wasn’t asleep.

“Hey, I bought coffee.”

“Thank god. I still feel like death.” He pushed himself up in bed so that he was sat against the headboard, his hair even messier with sleep.

Seph poured two cups, adding five cubes of sugar to one and then handing it to him.

“Can I get in? My legs are cold.”

“Uh huh.”

She pulled down his bed covers and climbed in, scooting closer to him on the mattress and getting comfortable.

“So when are you planning on telling me why we’re here?” she asked, taking a sip of her drink. Hmmmm, it was good coffee. Strong and rich.

“I’ll tell you now actually. A few years ago the BAU had a case involving a young actress. One of her assistants was going around and attacking people close to her. I became friends with her during the case and we stayed in touch. She’s quite a big name now and I sent her the pictures of your designs and told her you were an up and coming designer. She has an awards ceremony coming up and she said she love to wear one. She’s only available today and tomorrow though, so any alterations would need to be done super quick. I just thought that if a Hollywood actress could wear your clothes to a red carper event, she’d get asked ‘who she was wearing’ or whatever it is that fashion reporters ask, and it would get the name out there and help you get business.”

A Hollywood actress wearing Seph’s clothes to a red carpet event. What a genius idea! One she’d actually had herself but she hadn’t known who to approach.

That would definitely help, it was one of the first things actresses were asked at these events.

Seph wanted to hug Spencer so much right now, but settled for leaning over and kissing his cheek lightly.

He jumped slightly and blushed, “What was that for?”

“For just being you, Spencer Reid. I know we don’t a have a conventional friendship, you know, friendships aren’t generally born from one person trying to keep the other from offing themselves. But I’m glad I met you. That is a fantastic idea.”

He blushed even darker.

“Will you be able to alter the dresses fast enough?”

“I should be able to yes. If she’s an actress, she’ll probably be slimmer than me anyway and I have my kit. It doesn’t take too long if you know what you’re doing. Now…. Tell me about this actress. Who is she?”

“Erm… Lila Archer,” he said naming one of the hottest actresses out there right now.

She’d started off on some cable lifeguard show, similar to Baywatch, but her career had taken off when she’d landed a role in a Christopher Nolan movie, showing that she wasn’t just a pretty face. Now she was a lead on one of the highest rated TV Crime Shows. She was stunning as well, but known for being utterly charming and down to earth during interviews.

“You’re friends with Lila Archer?” That was a surprise.

As was the blush and the lip bite that followed.

“You were more than friends with Lila Archer?”

“Erm…. Kind of. We had a thing not long after the case ended. We met up a few times and had dates but then we both decided that the long distance thing wouldn’t work. We still keep in touch regularly and meet up for dinner if one of us is in town.”

“You had a thing with Lila Archer. Oh my god did you….. Well you know?”

He nodded.

“Well you are just full of surprises. Didn’t she date Jared Leto for a while?”

He nodded again.

“Okay so hypothetically, if me and you were to have sex, then by proxy, I’d have banged Jared Leto. Nice….. ”

He looked shocked, his mouth falling open.

“I’m joking. Unless of course, you want to…There’s still that item on my list. You said you’d help remember!”

“Erm…. I’m still thinking of how to achieve certain points.”

“Of course you are.”

He didn’t say anything.

“I’m hungry….. Can we go find food?”

“Sounds like an excellent idea. One I fully support.”

…

“Spencer, I’m nervous. What if she doesn’t actually like them?”

They were back at the hotel waiting for Lila Archer to arrive. She’d texted Spencer telling him she’d come to the building because it was easier. Seph had hung her dresses up carefully, borrowing a steamer from the hotel laundry service to lift the creases caused by the suitcase out, and now she was pacing the room.

“Seph, she’s already told me she loved the way they looked. She can have her pick of designers, she wouldn’t wear something she didn’t like. Even as a favour to me. Calm down. She’ll be…… ”

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“Here soon.”

Spencer rose to his feet and opened the door.

“Spencer!”

The gorgeous blonde creature that was Lila Archer threw her arms around Spencer’s neck kissing his check. He shut the door behind her quickly, embracing her back.

Pulling away from him and grinning, she turned to Seph.

“And you must be Persephone. The creator of these amazing dresses Spencer showed me. I can’t wait to actually see them, although I must say I was surprised to be receiving fashion recommendations from Spencer.”

Persephone chuckled at her joke and held her hand out to the actress. She ignored it, hugging Seph instead.

“I don’t have too long annoyingly. My schedule is so jammed packed these weeks, especially as it’s awards season right now, it’s a wonder I’m finding time to sleep at all. Otherwise I’d have taken you both out for dinner.”

“It’s fine. I completely understand. Do you…. erm, do you want to see the clothes?” Seph offered, feeling shy.

“Yes! Please.” Lila kicked off her heels, stripping away her coat and tossing that, and her bag onto the bed.

Persephone led Lila through the door to her bedroom, taking her to where the dresses were hanging. She reached out feeling the fabric of them and smiling.

“These are amazing. They’re so different too, beautiful and elegant but still contemporary. Spencer explained that it’s two different lines you’re trying to establish?” She picked up the hanger of a floor length scarlet dress, holding it up against herself.

“Essentially yes. The longer dresses and evening wear would be made to order for each individual. They’d fall under a line called ‘Alexandra Dawning’. And the shorter dresses and the rest of the clothes could be mass produced and made widely available, hopefully in stores and online. They’d fall under the name ‘The Damned Dead Queen’.”

Lila picked up one of the shorter dresses, a fifties style halter neck decorated with flowers and skulls, and scrolls with various translations of the words dead and Queen.

“I love the names too. A play on your names I guess? Spencer told me who you are.”

Seph glanced over at him and he looked away sheepishly.

“I totally get it by the way, that you want to do this for yourself. My parents didn’t approve of me acting, so I left home and set about making a name for myself. It was hard work, but I got there in the end. Are they not supportive?”

Seph shook her head at Lila.

“That’s a shame. Because your designs are brilliant. Can I try them on and see how much they need altering?”

“Of course…. So you think you might actually want to wear them?"

“Persephone, I want to buy them…..and if you’re looking for investors, I’d definitely be wanting in. Spencer said you had a business proposal. Can I take a copy with me to show to my lawyers. I know that once people see me wearing these clothes, people will want to buy them.”

Seph could feel her heart swelling inside, was a Hollywood actress really saying she wanted to help endorse her line and get it up and running?

Lila started stripping off, not bothered at all that Spencer was still in the room. Well… they obviously seen each other naked anyway. Seph still couldn’t quite believe that either. Not to say anything against him at all, but she’d just never have guessed it.

Persephone helped her into the red evening dress, zipping it up.

“Spence, is there a stool anywhere?”

He went off in search of one and she began adjusting the dress, taking measurements and noting them down, pinning the dress in places.

Lila wasn’t that much slimmer than Seph was, not conforming to the size zero Hollywood ideal, she was curvy and all the more attractive for it. It was no wonder she’d managed to snag one of the industries most eligible bachelors. The sizing would only need fixing slightly, and when she checked the hem, she realised she wouldn’t need the stool after all. In heels, the dress would fall perfectly.

Lila admired herself in the mirror and Seph admired the dress on her. It really did look amazing.

“So I’m going to the after party too and normally, I like to change. I want to try one of the shorter dresses too please.”

Seph helped her out of it, being careful not to pull on the pins. Lila slipped into the halter neck she’d been looking at.

“That would look great with some dark lip stick and thick eyeliner.”

“Exactly what I was thinking too. Can you take this one in too for me and I’ll buy them both? I’d need them doing by tomorrow though, that’s the only thing.”

“I’ll be able to do them overnight, they’re only small alterations.”

Lila quickly changed again into her street clothes and Seph carefully hung both dresses back up.

“So what sort of prices are you looking at charging?”

“I can’t bill you! Not if you’re helping me.”

“You can and you will. Otherwise, you’ll never get anywhere. You said that the shorter one is to be available for everyone right? Here’s what I personally think you should charge for each.”

She named two prices, the price for the shorter dress being pretty much bang on what Seph thought she could sell them for, if she ever managed to. She wanted everyone to be able to buy them and for them not just to be available to those with a disposable income. The price she gave for the evening dress though, was nine hundred dollars more than what she’d been thinking.

“Do you really think people would pay that much?”

“Persephone, it’s haute couture. People will pay for exclusive, made to measure personal designs. I’m sure you’ve paid a similar price for clothes before right? You know what woman will pay if they want something beautiful and unique. And this is beautiful and unique.”

She was right. Persephone herself had paid some extortionate prices for made to measure dresses before she’d learnt how to sew her own.

“I’ll come back tomorrow evening around the same time if that’s okay. Text me if there’s any issues getting them done in time. Do you have that proposal, I’ll drop it over and at my lawyers tonight and we can let you know what we think.”

Seph rummaged in her suitcase pulling out a copy that she’d had pre printed.

“You run a blog right? That’s where you currently take orders through? If I was you, I’d seriously invest in setting up a proper website, between now and next week if you can do it. The ceremony is on the sixteenth, so your brand name will be in the papers from the day after.”

“Already on it,” Spencer called over, a sly grin on his face.

“You are?”

“I contacted your assistant Helen and put her in touch with Penelope yesterday. Lila’s right. You need a proper website, one that can accept actual orders and payments. They’re using the photos from the portfolio you set up and Helen is contacting the seamstresses to check they can start work asap if needed.”

“Oh my god…. If this takes off, well have to work from my apartment initially. I hadn’t expected things to move so quickly.”

“There’s no absolute guarantee they will. But the last time I promoted something that was relatively unknown, they quickly sold out. So be prepared. I have to run. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Lila hugged both of them before exiting the room, leaving Seph standing staring at Spencer, gobsmacked.

“I can’t believe you did this.”

He just shrugged, looking like it was no big deal.

Seph closed the gap between them both and wrapped her arms around his neck embracing him tight and pressing her whole body against his. He quickly slipped his arms around her waist.

“Thank you. I swear you’re some sort of guardian angel Spencer Reid.”


	17. Chapter 17

The light that Spencer had seen in Persephone’s eyes last night when Lila had left had given him hope.

Hope that he was going to be able to talk her out of killing herself without having to take drastic measures. Hope that she was going to be able to get her life back on track and live the life she wanted to live rather than the life she felt she was expected to lead.

When she hugged him and thanked him, calling him her guardian angel he’d felt a sense of accomplishment. Seph could do this, she just needed a push in the right direction and hopefully Lila’s involvement would help with that.

He’d be surprised when Lila had said she’d want to invest, but pleased. He’d know Lila for nine years now, had watched as she’d gone from a small cable TV show to the leading lady she was now. Her name being behind the brand, her promotion, would do what Seph was so loathe to use her own surname to do. Give the brand worth, and value.

After Lila had left the pair had gone out for a quick bite to eat and then had a drink in the hotel bar, talking before bed.

“I still can’t believe you had a thing with Lila Archer and that she’s going to help me. You’re amazing! You must have been very good at that thing for her to want to do a favour for you.”

“Erm… Thanks…. I think. It’s not a favour though, she genuinely likes them. Just remember what she said though, there’s no guarantee it will mean success.”

“I know I know. But if she wears my clothes to an event and names them, it will mean the brand has been in the press. Recognition in it’s own right. So my parents can take that, and suck it. Speaking of my family….. I need to ask you something.”

“Okay.” He drained the last of his drink and signalled to the waiter to bring two more.

“My family are throwing me a party. They do it every year but I know this year they’ll be planning a huge speech to welcome me back to the business. Will you come with me?” She played with her hair, wrapping it around her finger nervously.

“I’ll come with you, sure. Are you planning on telling them that you’re not going back to the company?”

“Yes. But not yet. I need to wait and see how this thing with Lila pans out. I’m not going back though. One way or another.”

“One way or another. The other way still being….. ”

“Don’t ask a question you know you won’t like the answer to Spencer. It’s a question I don’t know the answer to myself. But keep doing what you’re doing. Please. Having you in my life is giving me hope.”

“I’m giving you hope?” The waiter set two new drinks down in front of them.

“Yes. You’re giving me hope. You care, and you listen to me. You remind me of Alex in a lot of ways you know. You’d have liked her.” She looked sad for a moment before smiling at him, something he was seeing more and more of.

“I’m sure you’re right, Seph,” he smiled back at her and they finished their drinks before heading back to their rooms.

…

The next day Seph was hard at work altering the clothes for Lila, and Spencer was messaging Penelope back and forth seeing how the website was coming along.

Very nicely it seemed. Penelope and Helen had been working hard on the website, skyping with each other when Penny finished at the office. Spencer had spoken with Helen too, unbeknownst to Seph.

The girl was enthusiastic about this but had been confused as to why Spencer was helping Seph and how he knew her. He gave the old friends story that he’d fed to the rest of his team and she seemed to buy it. She was sweet and had said she missed Seph, Spencer assuring her that she’d be back in New York soon. Hoping that she’d be back there to stay.

By the time Lila had come back, the dresses had been altered and when she tried them back on, they’d fit perfectly.

Lila had written Seph a cheque for the two amounts she’d suggested last night, Seph refusing to take it initially.

“Take it. And cash it! I’ll check and if the money hasn’t gone, I’ll set Spencer on you.” The girls had laughed and hugged, Lila telling her that her lawyer would be in touch and that she definitely did want to invest.

Reminding them of the date of the awards ceremony she left, hugging Spencer goodbye and telling him not to leave it so long between messages next time.

“So… Persephone Bella-Morte. How does it feel to have your first big sale? And a Hollywood actress interested in investing in your line.” He asked her, his face aching from the wide grin.

“It feels fucking amazing Spencer Reid. And this is all down to you. How can I thanks you?”

“You know how. By still being here in ten years time.”

Her face dropped at his comment.

“Spencer…… I’m elated by this, I really am. And it looks very positive. But let’s not count our chickens… Well, my chickens. Plus, there’s still list stuff to tick off. You promised you helped me achieve as many as we could. I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, remember…. ”

“And we will. Speaking of your list, be ready tomorrow at 8am. We have somewhere to be.”

“But our flight back to DC is tomorrow?”

“Its an overnight flight again… And don’t worry, I called the airline and changed us to first class. What I’ve got planned will only take a few hours.”

“Ah okay….. So it’s not the fucking.”

He laughed. “No ….I still haven’t worked that one out.”

“Trying to deny your feelings for me Dr Reid?” Seph flirted, batting her eyelashes.

“Me? Never. You’ve got me sussed……Now, let’s go and celebrate your first big sale.” He proffered his elbow to her and she took it.

“Yes, let’s indeed.”


	18. Chapter 18

Spencer had been driving for about forty minutes, not checking the map since he had gotten into the car, or using the satnav that had come in the hire car.

“How are you doing that? You said you’ve never been here before yet you know the way?” Seph asked him.

The way to where though, was something he still hadn’t said. The only thing he thing he had mentioned, was that Seph needed to wear pants, rather than a dress or skirt.

“I have an eidetic memory. I read the directions before we left and checked the map. I don’t need to recheck it.”

“Eidetic memory? Like… Total recall? You remember everything you see? That must be handy for those nights you spent with Hollywood’s top television actress.”

Spencer guffawed and signalled to turn off the main road they were on, starting to wind upwards.

“Not quite everything. It works mainly with text rather than actual images. I can do it with some conversations too but it depends on how much I’ve been paying attention. But it’s useful. Especially in my job.”

“I’ll bet.”

Around five minutes later Seph spotted an attraction sign. “Bridge To Nowhere.” Spencer signalled again and pulled onto the track.

“Is that where we’re going?”

“Yup.”

“The Bridge To Nowhere. Sounds kinda poetic, don’t you think?”

He didn’t answer and a few yards later pulled into a parking lot.

Looking around she spotted signs: ‘Bungee America.’

“You’re shitting me. You booked a bungee jump for me?”

He grinned at her, “For us actually.”

“You’re doing one too? Are we doing a tandem one?”

“No. This specific company won’t allow tandem jumpers for first timers. You’re jumping first and then me.”

“Fuck!”

He laughed again, parking the car and getting out.

Seph slid out a few moments later, legs feeling slightly unsteady. She looked around, but couldn’t see a jump platform anywhere, only a large building and other cars.

Spencer placed his hand on the small of her back and nudged her forward towards the building.

“Are we really doing this?”

“Hey, it’s your list.”

He was right, it was. Something she’d wanted to try for years, either this or skydiving. Just to experience the moment of free fall before being caught and lowered to safety.

They entered the building and Spencer walked over to the checkout desk where a girl in khaki shorts and a shirt bearing the company logo was sat.

“Hi. We’ve got two jumps book for 10am, under the name Reid.”

The girl checked her computer and grabbed a few forms, placing them on the counter in front of her.

“Are you both first timers jumpers?”

They both nodded.

“Excellent. I just need you to sign these forms for me and then one of our jump masters will take you through and start getting you sorted. There’s two jumps happening now and then it’s your turns. We’re not very busy today, so you won’t have much of audience I’m afraid.”

“That’s good. I don’t think I can handle a bunch of strangers hearing me scream.”

“Some people like the audience. Seeing people watching them gives them a sense of pride. They’re less likely to back out if they think there’s people watching.”

Seph scanned through the release form quickly, just the standard ‘I promise not to drag the company through the nine circles of lawyer hell if anything goes wrong.’ She squiggled her signature at the bottom, sliding it back across the counter. The girl called into the office behind her.

“Jack, your ten o clock jumps are here.”

A tall, sturdy looking blonde man strolled out of the office. He was taller than Spencer by at least two inches and had biceps that looked like they might rip open the sleeves of his shirt.

“Hey guys, welcome to Bungee America, The Bridge To Nowhere. I’m Jack and I’ll be your jump master today. I’ll talk you though everything and take you out to the platform.” He looked at them both expectantly.

“Seph.”

“Spencer.”

“Okay! Seph and Spencer, do you wanna follow me through and we’ll get you both weighed up. You should be able to see the jumps going ahead now from the kit room.”

He led the pair down a small passage way and into a room with floor to ceiling windows on one wall. The other walls were lined with harnesses, ropes and weights.

Jack gently nudged Seph over to a set of scales, the display turned so that only he could see the read out.

“Okay, Seph you’re jumping first right. Hop on up here so we can check what harness you need and see what length we need to set the ropes at.”

She climbed onto the scales, finally seeing the view outside.

The attraction was set on what looked like a gorge, a large bridge connecting between the two sides. In the middle of the bridge there was a large platform where she could make out a small blonde girl with a guy stood next to her. Thirty seconds later and the girl jumped, almost diving off the platform head first with her arms outstretched. Seph watched as the long thick cord followed her down. Down, down, down, before eventually catching her and pulling taut.

Persephone couldn’t tell whether there was water below or not but when the girl rebounded, she looked dry. She rebounded a few times until Seph could no longer see her and the rope hung straight, swaying.

“Fucking hell,” she muttered, her eyes wide.

“You’ll enjoy it Seph, trust me. Once you get up there and jump the adrenaline rush you feel is so powerful. It’s completely safe, we’ve been doing this here for fifteen years and we’ve not had any accidents.”

“First time for everything.”

“Actually the most common reported injury associated with bungee jumping is related to eyesight. It comes from the abrupt rise in upper body intravascular pressure during the bungee cord recoil,” Spencer said, watching the rope being pulled back up the bridge.

“Not helping Spencer.”

“You don’t have to do this, Persephone. But it was on your list. Here’s your adventure.”

“List? A bucket list type thing?” Jack asked, recording her weight down on two different pieces of paper and selecting a harness off the wall. “You can climb off the scales by the way. I’ve got your measurements.”

“Kind of yes. Is there water down below?”

“Yes. But we won’t let you hit the water. Some companies used to, but most have stopped. The impact of your head against the water can be problematic. But essentially, if anything were to happen then you’d fall into the water rather than onto a concrete surface. The measurement we’ve just taken lets us know how much rope we can use based on your weight. When bungee jumping first came around, jump masters had to change the ropes for varying weights. Now we have a machine the holds the excess rope and either feeds it out or holds it back, depending on height and weight. The less permanent jumps still have to change bungees if they have jumpers of very different height and weight classes.”

Seph could see the men on the bridge kneeling down and fiddling with machinery as the girl’s male companion inched along the bridge ready to be harnessed.

“Spencer, hop on the scales man. Let’s get you sorted.”

Jack wrote out his measurements too, selecting a hardness of a different colour.

“Now. It’s up to you if want to wear helmets or not. You don’t need them, it’s the same with, or without. But some people feel extra safe with them. Even though it wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference if anything were to happen. But it won’t. Like I said, no accidents in the fifteen years since we opened.”

Seph looked at Spencer to see if he’d choose one. He was smart, he’d know whether they’d make any difference. He didn’t take one, so neither did she.

“Awesome. Okay, so the dude on the bridge is ready to go and then it’s your turns. Shall we go out, you’ll be able to see the bounce better?”

She looked at Spencer apprehensively. Yes this had been something she’d wanted to do, but she’d been 15 when you wanted to do it. At 29 and actually here, she was suddenly feeling a whole lot different about it.

Spencer held his hand out to her and she took it, following him and Jack out. Jack led them up a small path to the end of the bridge. Looking down, Seph could see the water below as well as a small boat, manned by two people. There was a viewing platform down below where the girl who’d previously jumped, was now sat along with around eight other people.

“Have they all had a go too?” she asked.

“Nope, only three of them. Lots of people just come out to watch. It’s a big thing. When you’ve stopped bouncing, Sal and James down there will come out and collect you. They’ll do it as quickly as they can so you’re not suspended upside down for too long. There’s a cafe down there too, quite often people need a sugary drink or something to eat afterwards. Jumping can take its toll on your body. Okay watch. The boy’s about to go.”

Seph looked over to where the man was stood on the edge of the platform, gripping the two railings on either side. The jump master was stood a few steps back from him and the crowd below were shouting encouragement. After a minute, he leaned forward and fell, letting out at loud yell as he dropped.

Persephone could see the full extent of the drop here, his head stopping a few metres above the water when he stopped recoiling. Once he’d stopped bouncing, the two people in the boat started out to fetch him.

“I’m gonna go trade with Olly okay, and then me and Andy, he’s the other guy on the bridge, will set your ropes up. We try to be with each jumper from the start so it makes it easier. Take a few minutes and then cross the bridge and we’ll hardness you up. Spencer, you need to stay behind the gate okay. We only have one jumper at a time on the bridge.”

Jack gave them both a grin and then set off, taking his papers and harnesses with him, one of the other men high fiving him, before making his way across the bridge, smiling encouragingly as he passed you.

“Kinda ironic don’t you think?” Seph commented to Spencer.

“That I’m trying to stop you jumping off a bridge by getting you to actually jump off one? Definitely. You ready?”

“I think so.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at the bottom.”

She turned suddenly, embracing him in a hug and kissing his cheek.

“See you at the bottom Spencer Reid.”

She pulled away and started making her way across to Jack, looking down at the water below and the group of people watching. Some of them waved and she waved back shyly.

“We’re all set up and ready for you Seph. Let get the ankle harness on you.”

He knelt down in front of her, slipping her ankles into the bindings one by and securing them, before attaching the harness to the bungee cord. A few more checks and adjustments later and he stood.

“Okay, you’ll be able to walk so I’m gonna slowly follow you out on to the platform. Hold onto the railings. I’ll be holding your shoulders whilst Andy makes the final adjustments. When I let go of you, you’re good to jump. Take as much time as you need. When you jump, spread your arms wide like a Swan dive and lean forward. It’s better than just stepping off the edge. You’ll feel around five seconds of free fall before the bungee catches and then a sharp yank on the recoil. Try to keep your neck as still as possible okay. When you’ve stopped, Sal and James will get you. And then you can watch your boyfriend have his go.”

Seph didn’t bother to correct him, she just nodded feeling Jack give her a gentle push. She started to walk out onto the platform, gripping the railings as she went, her movements restricted by the harness. Jack’s hands remained on her shoulders, as she stood at the edge. Moments later Seph heard a voice call out “good to go” and Jack’s hands released her.

“Swan dive, remember Seph. It’s your show now, whenever you’re ready.” 

He stepped back.

Persephone looked down at the water below, remembering the last time she was in this position. She was much, much higher this time. She saw the people below looking up, encouragement coming from them. They didn’t know her, but their voices were friendly, telling her that she could do this.

She glanced left, searching for Spencer at the end of the bridge. He was stood watching intently, a smile on his face. He gave her a thumbs up.

Okay. Seph, you can do this.

It seemed a lot scarier knowing she was going to be caught though than when she knew she wasn’t.

Seph inched forward and leaned over the edge.

And then she let go, throwing her arms out wide.

The surge she felt as she free fell was like nothing she’d every felt before, the air pushing against her body as she rushed towards the water, a tiny voice inside asking ‘what if’. And then the sudden pull and the bounce.

And then she was grinning and laughing, seeing the people on the ground clapping, and trying to catch sight of Spencer as the world rushed past.

She’d done it.

And it had felt awesome.

She recoiled a few times, each time rebounding less and less until she could see a boat approaching her on the water.

“Hi! Congratulations, you did it!” A cheerful brunette greeted Seph as she steadied the boat, her companion gripping Seph’s waist and tugging on the rope so that she was moved into a seated position on the floor of the vessel. A few moments later and the cord was free and snaking it’s way back to the top.

“How do you feel.”

“Light headed, but amazing!” she managed to breathe out, searching for Spencer as the boat made it’s way back to the shore.

“First time?”

She nodded.

“His first time time too?”

“Yep.”

“Haha, brilliant.”

Seph had been so intent on watching Spencer walking across the the bridge, that she hadn’t felt James removing the harness from her ankles. When she got back to the boat dock, he climbed out and led her over to a bench, dropping the harness into a wire crate.

“You’ve got a great spot here. Sit and watch and we’ll go fetch him for you when he’s done.”

“Thank you.”

Seph looked up, squinting slightly in the low autumn sun and seeing that Spencer was now on the platform, Jack’s hands on his shoulders.

She was too far away to see the look on his face, to see whether he was shaking or not. Almost as soon as Jack stepped back, he released the railings and jumped.

And Seph watched as her new friend, the person who’d become so important to in the space of just over a week, fell.


	19. Chapter 19

As Spencer climbed out of the little boat his legs shook slightly, he couldn’t believe he’d done it.

Nor could he believe how exhilarating it had felt, leaping from that height. Feeling the rush of the air through his hair, the feeling of weightlessness in the five seconds of freefall before his ankles were caught and he’d bounced. He took risks in his professional life but never in his personal one. Not that bungee jumping was a huge risk, but still.

Seph ran towards him grinning like an idiot and jumped, throwing her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist squealing. 

“We did it! We did it!”

In his surprise he stumbled backwards, his ass hitting the wooden deck hard as Seph fell on top of him, a confused look upon her face as she found herself on the ground.

They both turned to the small group of people who were watching them, now clapping at their little show.

Persephone starting laughing first, rolling off Spencer’s hips and standing up holding her hand out to him.

He took it and hauled himself upright, brushing his jeans off.

“Sorry sorry sorry! I was just a bit over excited there… We did it!”

“We did. I can’t believe we both did it. None of my work colleagues would ever believe me.”

“Nor would any of my family. Alex would have probably laughed at me too and demanded to see proof.” Her eyes flickered, sadness crossing over them her quickly blinking it away.

“Thank you….. Again. I’m saying that so much to you recently.”

“You’re very welcome. It actually felt really good to do this for myself as well. I rarely take risks.” Spencer told her.

“Surely you risk your life most days?” she wrinkled up her nose.

“For my job yes, but in my personal life. Hardly ever. The pay off has never seemed great enough to make it worth it.”

“Hmmmm.” She looked thoughtful for a second, like she wanted to say something else to him but decided against it.

“What now?”

“Back to the hotel, pack up and get some food. Then to the airport.”

“We don’t have to be at the airport for hours yet… And we have a late check out right? Can we just…. sit here and watch people jump for a bit?”

“Of course. Let’s get a drink first. I feel like I need some glucose inside me.”

And so they sat together for the next two hours, huddled close side by side on a bench watching as people took their own leaps off the bridge.

Some were adrenaline junkies, flinging themselves off the second the jump master stepped back. Others were more cautious, taking a few moments, some even minutes before they tentatively stepped off.

Each time the boat docked though, bringing them back to shore, the looks on their faces was always sheer joy.

Not necessarily joy because of the sensation that jumping had caused, but the joy at doing something that a lot of them wouldn’t normally do. Maybe some had waited for years to do this, having it on a list similar to Seph’s. Each person had look of accomplishment about them, the satisfaction of setting out to do something and actually achieving it.

Spencer wished he’d jumped first so he could have seen that look on Seph’s face as she’d climbed out of the boat but he’d wanted to be at the top in case she backed out and decided she couldn’t do it. Still, hopefully he’d see the look of accomplishment on her thirtieth birthday when she told her family she wasn’t going back to Lux.

And hopefully it wouldn’t be because she was heading off to find another bridge.

…

The unlikely pairing returned to the hotel a few hours later and packed their belongings up before heading out for some food and then finally to the airport for the trip home. Well to their rented apartment.

Spender thought how weird it would feel when he actually had to go back to his own apartment and not have a constant companion by his side.

In the week and a half he’d known Seph he’d quickly got used to her being there, which was odd because he didn’t make new friends that easily. But Seph had quickly accepted him along with his quirks just as he had accepted her. He wondered that maybe if his plan with Lila didn’t take off, that he’d maybe be able to convince her to move in with him, as friends of course. She’d said that her parents would cut her off financially if she shunned Lux again. He could put her up, probably get her a desk job at HQ until she could get back on her feet. Although, he’d definitely have to invest in a sofa bed. He was NOT sleeping on his couch for that long. But it was something to think about. Another option. One he’d keep to himself for now.

The plane ride home was a lot less painful than the journey out. They settled in first class again for their overnight flight, Persephone asking for a pillow and blanket almost straight away, suddenly looking incredibly drained. She made herself comfortable and closed her eyes, not opening them until the plane started its descent back into DC.

Once her initial elation had worn off this morning she’d been quiet. Almost too quiet. She was thinking about things and although Spencer didn’t know what exactly, he got the feeling that it wasn’t happy thoughts she was consorting with in her mind.

When they finally returned to the apartment in the early hours of the morning, he reached out and touched her wrist, stopping her as she started to walk almost straight to her bedroom.

“Are you okay?”

She blinked a few times, before focusing her eyes on his as if he’d woken her up from some dream.

“Erm yeah. Sorry. The excitement of the last few days must have just taken it out of me. You know, I’ve spent the last few months since….. Well the last few months, not really doing much. I just feel incredibly tired that’s all. A good sleep in a proper bed will do me good. We’ll talk later okay. Maybe play some more chess.”

“Okay, as long as you’re okay Persephone.”

“I’m okay. Just incredibly tired. Thank you again.” She hugged him, tighter than she had done up until now and then walked across to her room, not looking back.

He watched her go, accepting her explanation that she was exhausted, but knowing that there was more to it.

The fire in her eyes had gone and she again looked like she had the night he’d found her on the bridge.

Defeated.

And that worried him.


	20. Chapter 20

What had flipped inside of Seph, she didn’t know. One minute she’d felt on top of the world and the next, it was like the world was on top of her crushing her.

In the space of a week and a half, she’d ticked of items that had been on her list for 14 years, established contact with a Hollywood A Lister who was going to promote her brand and made a friend who was proving to be one of the best people she’d ever met.

So what was the problem?

Why wasn’t it enough?

And would anything ever be enough?

She’d sat watching people jumping, looking so pleased with themselves, the way she had been initially. And yet all she could think was, what if her cord had snapped? What if something had gone wrong and she’d died?

Seph felt exhausted again, emotionally drained and like she wanted to curl up and sleep.

And so she did.

When they got back to the apartment she made an excuse to Spencer, ignoring the concern on his face, and took herself off to her room. She pulled the drapes shut, stripped down to her underwear and climbed into bed, curling up under the covers and hiding from the world. Hiding from her responsibilities and hiding from anything that took effort.

Sleep came in dribs and drabs, Persephone feeling confused when she woke up but shaking the feeling off and closing her eyes again.

The only times she moved was to drag herself into the ensuite to pee and to force her mouth under the faucet to drink.

Seph’s dreams were filled with memories of Alex, fun times they’d had together at boarding school and nights out in their twenties, interspersed with flashes of her funeral, recollections of the moment she’d received the phone call from Alex’s older brother informing Seph that she’d been killed, and the utter numbness that had followed.

Memories of her funeral, seeing a box containing her best friends body being lowered into the ground and wanting to throw herself in there afterwards. The only person that had made any effort to understand Seph, gone. The only person she felt comfortable telling her thoughts and fears to, no longer in this world.

She could hear Spencer knocking at the bedroom door at regular intervals, choosing to ignore him, ignoring the only person she had in her life right now that was actually there for her.

Seph knew she needed to snap out of this, but couldn’t. She hated the feelings of dread and despair, the feelings of being lost and alone. Wishing she understood why she felt this way, why she wasn’t satisfied with living in this world.

Maybe some people just weren’t meant to enjoy life? Maybe no matter what she did, she was always going to wallow?

Deep down Seph knew that she needed professional help this time. She may have been able to cope with the depression before when she was younger, but Alex dying was too much for her to cope with by herself.

But that meant reaching out and admitting to someone else that she wasn’t okay. And too many people already knew that. Seph didn’t want people’s pity, their questioning eyes trying to figure out how someone with everything she had, was so unhappy, so ungrateful.

Which was why she’d chosen to end things instead of dealing with the questions.

Persephone remembered the day she’d made the decision. It had been a normal day, well what had become her normal.

Get up, go to the bathroom. Head to the kitchen to force some kind of food into her body to stop the rumbling. Food was just a necessity, something she didn’t want but that her body needed. Stare at the TV, stare at her cell, stare at her sketchbook. Stare at the list of things she’d promised her best friend she’d achieve.

Things Seph was never going to make happen.

She’d picked up her pencils and had started drawing, a dress. A gown to be exact, a beautiful one, fit for a princess. When she leaned back and looked at it, she knew she had designed her own funeral outfit.

When Seph went into her supply closet and started pulling out fabrics, cutting them up to a fix to her dress makers doll, she realised how ready she was to wear this dress.

And how it didn’t scare her, knowing that.

It seemed like the perfect way out. An end to the constant feeling of her heart breaking for no apparent reason. An end to the feelings that no matter what she did, she wouldn’t be happy.

So she decided. That after thirty years on this planet, Seph would cease to exist, no longer be a part of it. She would join Alex, she would die.

The calm that had descended over her almost as soon as she’d made that decision had been glorious. Knowing that she was going to kill herself almost gave her a new lust for life. Carrying out everyday tasks had Seph thinking, “I only have to do this for another seven weeks,” and it made her smile, knowing she had a secret that no one else had.

When Seph’s parents had contacted her about the birthday party, she’d made the decision that she would do it that night. And instead of being her funeral dress, the outfit she’d set about creating became her death dress instead. Persephone would wear it to the party and then find a place later that night, to end it.

The New York Lux was twenty stories high, comprising of the business headquarters as well as the hotel. So she’d decided how fitting it would be to throw herself off the roof of one of the places she was trying to escape. Maybe her family would then understand how much pressure they’d put on her in her adult years and how damaging their lack of faith had been.

Sitting up in her bed Seph looked around the room, wishing the dress she’d made wasn’t all the way in New York city. She really wanted to wear it now.

She rose from the bed in her underwear and walked to the ensuite, standing in front of the mirror, not fully seeing herself in its reflection.

Spying her razor on the side of the bath, she reached for it, staring at the shiny sharp blade, tilting it under the harsh bathroom lighting and sliding her finger across it, feeling the blade bite but not break the skin.

She could end this now. Snap the safety casing and drag it across her veins.

It would be so easy.

But yet….

It was so hard.

Why was it so hard?

It was what she wanted, wasn’t it?

Seph put the razor blade down and picked up a water glass from the shelf next to the mirror, tossing it at the wall in frustration and seeing it shattering into a million pieces.

It was then that she slumped to the floor and started to sob.

She couldn’t do it.

She was too much of a coward to live, but too much of coward to actually kill herself.

Seph heard the bedroom door opening, she hadn’t locked it and Spencer had been decent enough to respect her privacy these last few days, surprising her after his initial reluctance to leave her alone at all.

He hurried into the bathroom, stopping when he saw her slumped in her underwear, glass covering the floor on the other side of the room.

Looking up at him through teary eyes, Seph finally said the words that she should have said long ago.

“I need help, I can’t do this anymore. I’m done being not okay.”

He picked his way carefully across the room and tugged the towel of the railing, sitting down next to her and wrapping it around her shoulders.

“I’m here, Seph. Talk to me.”

“Spencer, I don’t wanna die. But I don’t want to live like this anymore, with these constant thoughts and feelings, the hatred and the feelings of constant failure. It’s not right. I think…. I think I need to talk to a doctor.”


	21. Chapter 21

“I think… I think I need to talk to a doctor.” The moment those words had left Seph’s mouth, Spencer jumped into action.

“A doctor? Okay. I can arrange that. Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I don’t want to be medicated or anything unless I need to be, but I can’t handle feeling so happy one moment and like I’m getting somewhere and then so sad the next. It was different before, when I had Alex to pull me out of my head. But now I don’t have her and I can’t do it myself. I can’t get myself out of my funk and back to normal because being this way has become my normal.”

“You don’t have to do this alone you know Seph. I’m here for you,” he stroked her arm tentatively.

“I know you are. And I’m so fucking glad I met you Spencer Reid. I truly hope you’ll be a part of my life now for always. But I can’t dump all my problems on you. I can’t expect you to solve all of them for me. Hell, I don’t think anyone can solve them. But talking to you has helped so much. I just….. I don’t know. I feel so lost and I’ve felt lost since I was a teenager. The feeling hides away for a while but it always comes back. Always. Maybe a doctor can help me find a way to keep it away for good.”

“Maybe you’re right. But I do mean what I said. I’m here for you. For as long as you need me. And I hope you’ll always be in my life too. I like you Seph, you don’t judge me in the way that other people do.”

They smiled at each other before he pulled himself up off the floor, holding his hands out and tugging her up with him.

“Stay here and don’t move. I’m gonna get a dust pan and brush and clean the glass up so it’s safe for you to walk around. Then, you’re gonna have a bath or shower, whichever, and I’m gonna make some calls. I can probably get you an emergency appointment with a therapist I used to see.”

“Okay. Thank you. Again. For everything. I genuinely do not know what I’d do without you right now.”

Seph did. She’d be dead if he wasn’t here right now.

“It’s okay. Stop thanking me. I think you’re doing the right thing by talking to someone if it means anything. A professional will be able to help more than me.”

He cleaned up the mess and then left her to bathe washing days worth of self loathing away from her skin, before getting dressed and making herself presentable.

When Persephone returned to the living area, Spencer was on his computer, a website pulled up.

“I thought I’d show you this before we leave. Something positive.” He turned the screen towards her and she saw the TDDQ logo she’d designed plastered across the heading of the page.

“Penelope and Helen have been working extra hard since our meeting with Lila. It’s all set and ready to launch, just in time for the awards. Garcia says you owe her at least another bag and a dress.”

“That woman can have anything she wants. Hell, I’ll name a design after her. This is amazing.”

It really was. Impeccably designed and easily navigatable, it was cute yet professional looking, Seph’s clothes displayed beautifully on models she hadn’t seen before.

“Where did these photos come from?”

“Lila called. She wanted to do something else to help out, so she contacted an agency in New York and we sent Helen and a photographer over with the designs that were left in New York.”

“You did all this in two days?” She was shocked.

“Four days. You’ve been in there for four days Persephone.”

Shiiit.

Really? She was so sure it had been two.

“It’s no wonder I’m starving then.”

“Yes. Food, you need to eat. I’ve got you an appointment at 4pm. Dr White is staying later especially for you. Let’s go and get some food and then I’ll take you, okay?”

“Okay… Wait. Four days? That means the awards show is in two days time. And my birthday is in three. Spencer we need to get to New York.”

“You’re exactly right. We do. Which is why we have tickets for the Amtrak tomorrow at 4pm. We should get into NYC for around 8pm.”

Seph had flown to DC to get here, it was quicker. But she guessed the train was okay too.

“So we need to ship up and ship out tomorrow then. I’ll start packing later. Are we ready? I’m hungry.”

She stood up from her seat and watched Spencer close down the laptop before joining her.

“Let’s go.”

…

Seph had been in with Dr White for approaching three hours when the door opened and she exited. It was lucky that Reid had had the foresight to bring his laptop along the the office with him, hooking up to the WiFi and passing the time reading online. It wasn’t his first choice of apparatus to read with, he’d always prefer actual physical books first and foremost, but it would do.

The last four days he’d been worried and at a loss of what to do.

He knew he needed to leave her alone for a while, something in Seph’s body language had told him that if he pushed himself on her, she’d break down completely. But as one day rolled into three, he’d started getting concerned.

He turned to the only other person who Seph had been honest about her predicament with and called his supervisor.

Hotch had listened to his ramblings, telling him to give her time and to check up on her discreetly. If a week passed and she still didn’t resurface, then maybe it would be time to stage some sort of intervention. So he’d given her time and space, busying himself with video calls between himself, Helen and Garcia, speaking to Lila through text messages and helping to set this business up to be something that couldn’t fail.

Helen had scoped out a workspace not far from Seph’s apartment, all she needed was Seph’s signature on the rental agreement. She’d also assembled the seamstresses and designers ready to start to work the moment the orders started coming in. And Lila had assured him the orders would come. Especially for the Alexandra Dawning line. She’d shown her dresses to a couple of her cast mates, the women ooohing and aahing and wanting to have their own dresses designed by this new exclusive designer that they’d never heard of before. Lila was certain Seph would be able to charge a lot more than what she’d charged her.

They’d decided that the website would have a limited run on a small selection of designs from The Damned Dead Queen line initially, to give the seamstresses and the business time to get used to the designs and for the brand reputation to grow. This had been Seph’s idea originally anyway and Spencer hoped she wouldn’t mind that he and Helen were essentially putting all this into play without her. He looked forward to actually meeting her friend; Helen had been friendly and enthusiastic over video chats, expressing much love for Seph.

By the time the fourth day had rolled around and Persephone still hadn’t left her room, Spencer had decided that if she didn’t show her face today he was going in.

Although, he kinda had been in to see her anyway. Listening outside her door until he was certain she was sleeping and then creeping inside. Not in a weird way, just to make sure she had DONE anything. He heard her moving about at various points during the day and night, her toilet flushing and her tap running. He knew she could get access to water, but unless she’d been sneaking out when he was asleep, and he was fairly certain she wasn’t, then she’d be going days without food.

When he’d heard the glass smash earlier today, he’d ran. Barging into her bathroom he’d seen her collapsed on her bathroom floor in her underwear sobbing. She looked pale, her hair lank and a slight odour of someone who hadn’t washed in a few days coming from her. To sum it up easily, she looked like death.

When he’d clocked the broken glass and the razor blade that was close to her hand, he immediately started scanning her body for cuts. But there were none.

And when she’d finally spoke, telling him that she didn’t want to die and she needed help, his heart had lifted. She was a pitiful sight, still beautiful in her distressed state, but pitiful. But admitting she wanted help and that she thought she needed to see someone was a step he hadn’t expected her to take. He’d been hopeful that they could do this by themselves but when she’d retreated to her room for four days it had became clear that he wasn’t cut out for this. But now she herself had recognised that she needed help. And that was good.

It seems such a cliché to say that the first step to recovery is admitting you need help. But it truly is.

And she’d admitted and asked for it.

When she left Dr White’s room, she looked lighter. She’d been crying, for a long time by the streaks on her face. But she carried herself with a different air. One of someone who’d had some weight lifted off her in some way or another.

“Are you ready to go? I’m sorry I took so long.” She played with a strand of her auburn hair.

“It’s fine. And yes, let’s go. Do you want to grab some more food on the way?”

Seph had nodded and they took a slow, quiet walk back through the city, grabbing a take out pizza on their way to add to the huge meal they’d eaten before her appointment. Getting back to the apartment, they switched the heating lamps back on and took their food outside.

“How are you feeling now?” He asked carefully. 

“Not better as such, but less not okay. We talked. A lot. I couldn’t even tell you what about for the most part. But Dr White has referred me to a therapist on New York who wants me to see her straight away when I’m back. She does…… ” Seph looked down, almost seeming ashamed. “She thinks that I’d benefit from antidepressants, as well as ongoing therapy. But she doesn’t want to start me off herself. She says I need to get settled at home first and get my own doctor, as the dosages will probably need adjusting. I never wanted to have to rely on meds.” She flushed red, and fiddled with her hair again.

“Seph, it’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Being on antidepressants doesn’t make you less of a person. And they help stabilise your moods. Millions of people all over the world take them. It not a bad thing.”

“I know, I know. I just thought I could get on track without them. But I can’t, so I’ll try them. She thinks I need to sack off the idea of completing my list too, at least in the time frame I’ve given myself. We’d never do it now anyway.”

She bit into a slice of pizza, chewing it thoughtfully.

“True. But I do still want to walk the Inca trail with you. And I do want you to take me to London. We can still do those things. And I’m sure you’ll achieve the other things too.”

“Spencer? What happens to us. When I go home. You’ve been my rock these past two weeks. But you have to go back to work and we live four hours away from each other.”

Us. Spencer knew she meant “us” as in their friendship, but it still sounded strange. What did happen?

“Well we keep in touch. The same way Lila and I do, I guess. Email, phone, and then we make plans to meet up when we can. This may sound strange but you’re one of the first real friends outside of work people I’ve had.”

“I am?”

Reid grabbed another slice, nodding at her.

“Yes. I don’t make friends that easily. But it’s been oddly easy with you, even given the circumstances.” He bit into his food, seeing her purse her lips.

“If we’re friends… Will you tell me about her? You still haven’t.”

Maeve. She hadn’t forgot what Hotch had said then.

“Yes. I’ll tell you tomorrow. I promise.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“So what do you wanna do for the rest of the evening?” He asked her. He’d pack tomorrow quickly. It wouldn’t take him long. He only intended on going to New York for a few days anyway so he’d take most of his things home before they headed to the station.

“Chess? I still haven’t beaten you.”

“Chess it is.”


	22. Chapter 22

They played chess against each other until around 10:30pm, Seph still not beating him but definitely coming close. She kept him on his toes, something he wasn’t used to when playing against most people.

They retired to their bedrooms, Persephone wrapping her arms around Spencer’s torso in a long hug and burying her face in his chest before she let him go, whispering her thanks to him yet again.

Sleep came quickly to him, Spencer less concerned about Seph now that she had opened up to a professional, the sleepless nights from the last four days catching up with him. When he awoke in the morning it was still early and when he peeked out of his bedroom curtains, he could see that it was still dark, but being November, the sun would start rising soon.

Remembering an item from her list, he had an idea and he crept into her bedroom.

“Persephone….Seph.” He nudged her gently, her soft snores making him chuckle.

“Huh? What?” she sat up sleepily.

“Come outside. And bring your bed cover with you.”

Surprisingly given the early hour, she didn’t argue. She just slipped out of bed, stumbling slightly and starting to pull her thick cover off the bed, Reid grabbing it and helping her.

She followed him outside, dropping down into one of the chairs they’d been sat in the night before. Spencer sat next to her closely, and wrapped the cover around the both of them, his breath visible in the cold November air.

“Why am I awake and why am I outside, freezing my bloody tits off?” she sounded so English then that Spencer had to stifle a laugh.

He just inched his chair closer and searched for her hand under the cover.

“I know we’re forgetting the list but you said you wanted to watch the sun set and sun rise from the same remote spot, having spent the whole night with someone special. I know it’s not the same, but we’ve watched the sun go down from here the first night, we might not have paid much attention to it because I was teaching you chess, but it still happened. It’s not remote and I know I’m not anyone special, but can it count?”

She took in his words, looking over the balcony and seeing the sky slowly starting to change colour.

Turning to him, she squeezed his hand and said softly, “Of course it can count. And Spencer….. You are someone special. I don’t think you’ll ever quite realise how special you are to me now. I may have known you for only two weeks, but you’ll always, ALWAYS hold a special piece of my heart for everything you’ve done for me.”

She smiled and then leant her head, resting it on his arm and turning her face back towards the sky. Reid glanced down at her periodically, checking she hadn’t fallen asleep and replaying her words in his head.

He realised that she’d always hold a special piece of his heart too. The girl he tried to save from herself.

“Seph, you wanted to know about Maeve? And why Hotch thought that me doing this for you was about her. He was right, when it boils down to it. I couldn’t save her, so I wanted to be able to save you.”

She raised her head and turned to look at him, brushing her hair out of her eyes and waiting.

And so he told her. Everything.

How he’d contacted Maeve to help with his headaches and how they’d struck up a long distance friendship which slowly evolved into a relationship despite them never meeting.

He told her about how Maeve had told him she loved him and that he hadn’t responded, because he didn’t know how to.

He told her about the first time they’d met and how the first time they locked eyes it wasn’t from across a fancy restaurant, but in a deserted room, both restrained and at the mercy of a psychopath. A psychopath who he’d tried to reason with, who he’d tried to lie to. But it hadn’t worked. It had back fired and ended in bloodshed.

He’d been broken, for months afterward. The first person he’d actually had feelings for, feelings that were being returned, gone. They’d never kissed, never even touched. He hadn’t been able to save the one person he’d wanted to save more than anyone.

“So when I saw you that night, hanging off the side of that bridge, that’s why I couldn’t walk away. I had to try and save you, because I couldn’t save her.”

“But you didn’t know me Spencer. And I wasn’t being murdered. I was doing it to myself.”

“Which made it worse. You were choosing to end your life. A life that is clearly far from being finished Seph. You have miles to go in your life. Can you see that now?”

He prayed for her to tell him she could see that now.

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.” She whispered quoting Frost, not looking at him at first, but then bringing her eyes to his. “I can’t promise that I won’t ever think about killing myself again Spencer. But I can promise that I’ll try harder, not to let things become too much for me. Dr White said that it’s likely that even with medication, I’ll still have down days. It’s just the way my mind is built. But if I surround myself with the right people, the right support network, then I can make it easier on myself. I’ll try.”

“Thats all I can ask. And I’ll be part of your support network. We may be miles apart and I may not be able to respond straight away, but I’ll always ALWAYS help when I can.”

“Thank you. And thank you for telling me about her. I’m sorry that you lost her, but you know that there’s a good chance that no matter what you did, you probably wouldn’t have been able to change the outcome right?”

“I know. Hotch has told me that, Blake has told me, my therapist has told me.”

“But you have changed my outcome. Just knowing that a stranger can care so much, enough to do what you’ve done for me. That means everything.”

“Good.”

“Good…..So, sun’s up. Shall we get breakfast and get this apartment packed up again?”

“We shall.”

“And then go and face my parents tomorrow, just in time for the awards show.”

“Do they know you’re coming back today?”

“They do. But I’ve told them I can’t see them until tomorrow. For brunch. And then I need to see Helen, and thank her for everything. And hopefully she’ll be able to hand in her notice at Lux too.”

“Let’s get a move on then. I think Penelope would like to see you again before we leave.”

“Of course. She gets a big BIG hug too. For all her help.”

They both stood, ready to face the day together.


	23. Chapter 23

“This is where you live?” Spencer looked up at the building, seeing the impeccably dressed doorman holding the door open as he recognised Seph.

“Yep. It was my twenty fifth birthday present from by parents. I’m not quite the penthouse apartment though, there’s one above me that’s bigger.”

Today had been long. After packing up and cleaning the rental apartment, they’d taken the leftover food items they hadn’t touched to a local shelter that Spencer knew of, went back to his apartment to drop the majority of his clothes off and to get new ones, and then had made their way to the BAU.

The team were out on a case although as Penelope was the technical analyst she was left at head quarters, tapping away at her computer when Spencer and Seph had joined her.

Her face had lit up when she’d seen them both and she’d jumped out of her chair to hug Seph.

Persephone talked with her for a few minutes, thanking her for all her help and promising her that she’d make her something special as a reward.

The meeting with her had been cut short when the team had called in needing assistance. As a civilian with no connection to the case Seph had had to leave the office immediately, Spencer following her out a few moments later.

“You ready?” he asked.

“Of course.”

The train journey had been longer than it should have been. Technical difficulties at one of the stations meant an hours delay, so by the time they’d got into the city and caught a cab back to Seph’s apartment, it was ten pm.

“They bought you an apartment? Wow.”

“Lifestyles of the rich and the famous, eh.” She shrugged and made her way into the building, the doorman Thomas holding open the door.

“Ms Persephone, I haven’t seen you here for a few weeks.”

“No Thomas, I’ve been out of town for a while.”

“Ms Helen and Mr Edward were here though, Mr Edward moving out?” Seph liked Thomas, he was kind and interesting, but she really just wanted to get upstairs.

“Yes. Hopefully he’s already moved out. Thomas, I’d love to stay at talk but we’ve been travelling all afternoon and I’d really like to relax. I’ll come talk to you tomorrow.”

“Of course Ms Persephone, don’t you worry about me. Let me help you into the elevator with your bags first.”

She relented, allowing the older man to help move her suitcases into the lift that would take her and Spencer to her apartment. Hopefully it wouldn’t be in too much of a state. Seph remembered not leaving it particularly tidy, and no doubt Edward wouldn’t have tidied up after himself.

She rode up with Spencer and then led him to the door. There was only her’s and three other apartments on this floor.

Unlocking the door, Seph could smell the soothing scent of lavender and when she pushed the door open she could see that the apartment had been tidied. She spied a folded piece of card on the table beside the door, Helen's neat cursive writing.

“Seph, I came by earlier to make sure everything was okay. There’s some basic groceries in the kitchen and I cleaned out your fridge. There was a small eco system starting to form in the salad crisper.  
The sheets in both bedrooms are fresh too, I wasn’t a hundred percent sure on yours and Spencer’s sleeping arrangements (can’t wait to meet him by the way) so I remade both beds.  
Edward's stuff appears to have all gone, although word around the office is that he’s still planning on going to your birthday party. What the fuck is up with that?  
Can we meet tomorrow at say 5pm? There’s something I want to show you, and then I figured we could maybe watch the awards show together? I’ve missed you.  
Oh, your spare bedroom has become a bit of a dumping ground. I had to order in a large amount of fabrics and materials in preparation (don’t ask where the money came from) so I’ve stashed it in there.  
Love ya tons.  
Hels”

Seph dragged her suitcase into the living area, Spencer following.

“This room is bigger than my whole apartment.” He commented.

She got that a lot. It was a little big. And it cost a fortune to heat in the winter, something she’d have to reconsider this year. Her parents paid the utility bills currently, but if they were cutting her off, that would have to stop. Perhaps she could sell the place and downsize somewhat. She didn’t need three bedrooms and all this space. Seph wondered whether they’d argue with her over that. Technically it was her apartment, it had been a present. But they had paid for it.

Hmmmm.

She gave Spencer a quick tour, showing him the guest bedroom that he’d be sleeping in and where the bathroom and kitchen was. Persephone poked her head into the spare bedroom, seeing that it was indeed full of rolls of materials and dress makers dolls of various sizes. She’d quiz Helen on this tomorrow. That had to have cost her a pretty penny.

Upon checking the kitchen, she saw that Helen had indeed restocked the fridge freezer with fresh milk and bagels, a fresh pizza sitting in the fridge with a post it note saying “dinner?” on it in Helen’s scrawl.

As they toured the apartment Seph noticed Edward’s things had indeed gone, his clothes no longer in the wardrobes, the drawers on what was his side of the bed empty, his golf clubs no longer cluttering up the hallway closet.

She felt a surprising twinge of sadness, she had been with him for a number of years and lived with him after all. And he had been there when Alex had died, in his own way. Seph couldn’t blame him really for turning to someone else, she hadn’t let him near her since the accident, and she’d completely shut him out emotionally. She’d speak with him properly at some stage, assure him that ultimately, there were no hard feelings.

“So what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Spencer asked, looking around and taking in the art work on the walls. Other items Seph could sell if it came down to it, she thought.

“Well Dr White got me an appointment at 9am with a therapist here in Manhattan, just to start the process off. Then meet with my parents at 12pm. It was meant to be brunch but it’ll be lunch now. Meet Helen at five, she’s texting me an address. And then she’s coming back here and we’ll watch the awards show together.”

“Am I coming with you to lunch?”

Oh! Seph hadn’t actually checked and asked if he would. She couldn’t imaging doing it without him by her side. Although she knew she was going to have to get used to it. Three weeks with him as her almost constant companion, she really didn’t want him to leave.

“Do you mind? I know it might seem weird, and it could get messy depending on how they take the news.”

“I don’t mind. Do you really think they’ll take it that badly?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. At the end of the day Seph, you’re an adult. They can’t force you to work for them and if they cut you off, so be it. You’ll make your own money. If this business doesn’t take off, then we’ll work something out. If it comes to it, you can sleep on my couch for however long it takes to get back on your feet.”

Persephone crossed the space to him and hugged him.

“Thanks Spencer. But I’m not thinking of failure now. This is a good brand, and my designs are great. With Lila Archer backing it and all of the work you, Penelope and Helen have done, I’m feeling positive. I’ll make this work. Even if I have to move back to London and sell them on Camden Market, whilst living out of a hostel, I WILL have my own fashion line. I don’t need my parents money. Well…. I’ll learn to live without it somehow. I can do this.”

“Yes, you can,” Spencer pulled her close for another hug, pride in his voice and she felt his lips press against the top of her head.

She could do this.

And she would.


	24. Chapter 24

“You alright?” Spencer asked.

They were both stood outside of the Lux building, looking up at the many storeys, Spencer marveling at how tall it was.

Persephone was feeling emotional and nervy, the calm she’d felt after leaving Dr Draper’s office disappearing as soon as the Lux sign came into sight. The sign that she’d designed, the only thing that she’d put into that business that she felt any pride for.

Dr Draper had been easy to talk to. Seph had been over the same ground that she’d already discussed with Dr White, surprised at how easy she was finding it to talk about her problems with these complete strangers. She hadn’t cried as much this time so her make up had only taken a few moments to fix.

The therapist had explained how she was going to teach Persephone some techniques over the next few sessions, how to break down the things she perceived as problems and how to cope with them. She’d explained how it sounded like Seph had suffered from mild depression her whole life but that she’d been using Alex as a coping mechanism in the past. Seph’s best friend being her rock, her support. With Alex gone, that’s what had triggered the spiral into further depression, a black hole that she couldn’t get out of. Persephone needed a strong support network, but she also needed to learn to help herself, rather than relying on others to do it for her. The doctor was also getting Seph started on a dose of antidepressant. She’d picked them up from the pharmacy but she was going to start those after her birthday, wanting to be able to enjoy a drink at least, certain she’d need it.

Now they were stood staring up at one of Seph’s biggest perceived problems. The family business, the obligation, the fear of having her family disown her.

Time to get this over with.

“No. I’m not alright. But I’m more alright with this than I was three weeks ago. So let’s do this.”

Seph reached out for Spencer’s hand, needing to feel him close as she walked into the building.

The receptionist waved at Persephone and she waved back, heading straight for the coded door to the side of the reception desk. Punching in her security code that all employees had, she heard the click and pushed the door open. They entered into the main service corridor, heading for the elevator.

Seph’s mother had messaged to say that they were in their private quarters rather than the office. The top few floors of the hotel were used for the business head quarters, and the very top floor was her parents home.

Searching in her bag Seph pulled out her key chain, finding the fob that gave her unrestricted access to that floor and inserted it into the slot on the side of the key pad. The pair shot up, Seph taking deep breaths to try and calm the butterflies that were playing chase in her tummy. When the elevator came to a stop she felt sick.

The doors slid open and they exited, Seph pulling Spencer along and finding another door to the right of the lift, using her key fob to gain access again.

Opening this door led into a hallway, the decor totally different from the rest of the building. They made their way along the hallway, stopping at the final door. The final barrier between Seph and her parents. She raised her fist to knock, hesitating slightly.

“You’ve got this Seph. Remember, no matter what happens I’m here for you.”

She knocked three times and waited, releasing Spencer’s hand from her own and wiping her now sweaty palms on her coat.

The door swung open revealing Rhea Bella-Morte, Persephone’s mother.

“Sephie!” she cried, enveloping her daughter into a hug.

Seph managed to catch a glimpse of Spencer’s face and saw an amused smile at her parents pet name. Sephie…

“Hi Mum, how are you?” Persephone untangled herself from her grasp.

“All the better for finally seeing you again, darling daughter. I haven’t seen you in almost four weeks, we’ve not gone that long apart since you were at school.”

Rhea was right, when Seph had worked for the company she’d seen her almost everyday and even after she’d left, Persephone still made the effort to see them at least once a week.

“Who’s this?” Rhea turned to Seph’s companion giving him a quick once over. Seph had told her she’d be bringing a friend, although she’d neglected to mention it was a male friend.

“This is Spencer, Mum. He’s a friend."

Spencer held his hand out to the older woman. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs Bella-Morte.”

She took his hand gracefully, Rhea was a sucker for guys with manners.

“Rhea, please. There’s not many friends of Persephone’s that I haven’t met, Spencer. So do tell me how you know my daughter.”

Erm. That was a story they hadn’t quite locked down between them.

“Where’s Dad? Should we go through to him and save repeating myself,” Seph jumped in.

“Yes yes. He’s probably managed to demolish half of the sandwiches Andrea ordered in for lunch already. He missed breakfast this morning.”

Rhea led the way through into a large sitting room, a table made up by one of the huge windows that looked out onto the bustling streets of Manhatten below. James Bella-Morte was indeed tucking into the sandwiches already, looking up and smiling at Seph when they entered the room. He stood, holding out his arms and she crossed the room to hug him.

She introduced Spencer to her father and all four then sat down. Seph could see a mildly confused look on her friend's face and she knew what he was thinking. From how Seph had described her parents he was not expecting them to be the friendly and welcoming creatures that they were being. He was right to be confused, she had perhaps made them out to be horrid ogres who didn’t deserve their daughter. And that wasn’t true at all. When it came down to it, she loved her parents, they were warm and kind and easy to get along with, for the most part. And she’d had everything she’d ever want from them.

Except for their blessing to leave the company. That was one thing they didn’t seem to understand.

Persephone’s father started to pass around platefuls of sandwiches, obviously eager to tuck in and she made small talk with them, explaining that she’d met Spencer in a book store in DC and that she and him had become fast friends.

“Just friends, Persephone? It looks pretty bad that you went to DC to surprise your fiance and you return with another man. Edward never actually told us what happened between you and him, just that you’d broken it off and demanded he move out of your apartment.” Rhea poured tea for herself and Seph’s father, decanting coffee into cups for Seph and Spencer at their request.

It interested Seph that Edward hadn’t actually told anyone the reason she’d kicked him out, it made her wonder exactly what story he was peddling.

“I met Spencer after I’d broke things off with Edward, Mum. After I walked in on him screwing his secretary.”

“Oh.”

“I’ll kill that little shit,” James muttered, through a mouthful of bread. For a high flying business man, sometimes he had terrible table manners.

“Daddy no, it’s fine. I wasn’t happy with him anyway. Leave him be,” Seph told him, placing her hand on his forearm and calming him.

“You weren’t happy with Edward, are you happy with Spencer then?” Rhea questioned, not even bothering with subtlety.

Spencer choked on a piece of food, quickly washing it down with water. Seph chuckled at his reaction.

“Me and Spencer are just friends Mother, don’t worry. He’s been helping me out.”

“Yes, you mentioned that. What exactly with?”

Well this was a lot earlier in to the visit than she’d expected. Persephone had hoped to at least get lunch down and out of the way before the drama ensued. She glanced at Spencer out of the corner of her eye, feeling him squeeze her leg under the table cloth.

Okay, deep breaths Seph.

“With my business.”

Her parents both put their food down, half eaten sandwiches now on their plates. She had their full attention.

“Your fashion line? I thought you’d have given up on that by now. Didn’t your funding fall through?” Rhea commented, not quite making eye contact with her daughter.

“It did. But I have a new plan.”

“One that’s going to pay off by tomorrow, your deadline? You remember the deal Seph, establish the business by the time you’re thirty or come black to Lux. We won’t fund your lifestyle any longer whilst you’re unemployed. You were to make something of yourself, or come back.” It was James’s turn to speak.

“I won’t meet my deadline no,” Seph told them, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“But I’m not coming back to Lux either.”


	25. Chapter 25

“But I’m not coming back to Lux either.”

Seph’s parents looked at each other, communicating with their eyes. Finally, it was her mother who addressed her.

“Then you’ll no longer benefit from your trust fund. We meant what we said Seph.”

Spencer squeezed Persephone’s knee again, willing her to continue despite the tears she could feel building.

Seph looked at her parents, their stoney faces set.

“Thats fine. I’ll cope without it one way or another. I’m going to do this.” Her voice shook slightly.

“How exactly? You didn’t follow this through when you left university and wanted to do it the first time. The threat of being left without our money had you reporting for work almost immediately. And this time, it seemed like you were making progress. Until you threw that progress away by not going to those meetings and staying in bed for however many months it was.” James fixed Seph with a cool stare, sipping his tea.

“I didn’t throw anything away. My best friend died and I was going through some things. Things I’m still going through.”

Seph couldn’t believe how cold and callous her father sounded.

“The world doesn’t stop turning because someone dies, Persephone. Life goes on. And if you want to make something out of yourself then you have to push through tragedies. You didn’t see Alexandra’s father losing his business did you?”

“No but that was because he had people to carry on for him.”

“So did you. Do you know Helen actually handed in her notice to help you out before. She came begging for her job back though after you refused to answer her calls for four weeks.”

She had?

Seph didn’t know that.

“You had someone willing to help you, someone that was wiling to give up their job because they believed in you. We would have helped you,” James told her.

“No you wouldn’t. You refused when I asked for an extension.”

“Only because you left it until five weeks before the deadline after doing nothing for months. I sound harsh Sephie, but if you want to succeed in business, you have to be able to push through when bad things happen and not hide away from the world like you did. We loved Alex too you know. But if everyone who had loved her gave up, there’d be a lot of companies going into administration about now. You aren’t cut out for working for yourself.”

Seph closed her eyes, blinking back tears.

“Yes. I. Am!” She choked out through gritted teeth.

“You’re really not,” Rhea told her, her voice pitiful.

“YES I AM! ” Persephone shouted, causing Spencer to jump. “I AM cut out for this. And I WILL do this. I don’t need your help, your money. Not anymore. I have a good brand and good friends that want to help me and want me to succeed. I may have hidden away, you’re right. Because I was down. I was depressed that my best friend, the person that always encouraged me when you two wouldn’t, had died. It’s natural. But I’m working on that now, I’ve been to see a therapist. And I’m working on my business. In fact, thanks to Spencer here, I have a Hollywood actress wearing my clothes to a red carpet event this evening. I don’t need your trust fund and I don’t need Lux. If this fails, I’ll…. I’ll get a job cleaning toilets to fund my life. I’ll sell everything I own and set up a market stall selling my designs there. I’m good at this and I WILL make a career out of this.”

Seph pushed her chair back ready to walk out when she saw her parents raise their hands and begin to applaud.

What?

What the actual fuck?

They grinned at each other as Seph and Spencer both stared in confusion.

“Sit back down Sephie,” James told her.

Still in shock by their actions she did exactly what he asked.

“THAT is what I wanted to hear from. That’s what I wanted to hear when you were twenty two years old. That you didn’t need our money and that you would do it by yourself, like your great grandfather did. His parents told him that he wouldn’t be successful and he proved them so very wrong.”

“But…. You….. You told me I’d fail?”

“Only to make you want it more Persephone. Business is ruthless, you had to learn that. But each time you’ve faced hurdles, you’ve backed down and taken the easy option out. You’ve hidden away. You can’t do that in the real world. If you came back to Lux it would have proven that you didn’t really want it, or that you weren’t cut out for it. I know we sounded uncaring and harsh but it was only to make you see how much you wanted it. That fire, that passion you just showed. That’s true Bella-Morte fuel. True passion. You showed that you believe in yourself. That’s what will make you successful. Self belief.”

So all these years, all the guilt trips…. This had been about tough love?

Did they not fucking realise how damaging this had been to her? How much this issue had haunted her.

What the hell!

She’d nearly killed herself over this. Well, this and just a few other issues…

But… How could they have known really? When she put up such a front around everyone else. Seph had never told them how they were making her feel. If she had, would they have continued with their tirade of guilt trips and threats to cut her off?

Persephone looked between them, their faces beaming with pride.

No, she realised. They wouldn’t have. Because they DID love her. They just didn’t know what was happening inside her head. All of the many many things that had been whirling in her brain, Seph allowing each tiny thought and feeling to eat away at her.

This wasn’t their fault. It was just their way.

“Excuse me. I erm… Need to go to the bathroom.”

Persephone pushed away from the table and ran off to the nearest bathroom, barely shutting the door before someone knocked on it.

She hauled it open, knowing it would be Spencer. It was, and she fell into his embrace, emotions taking over.

She didn’t cry this time, just rested her face on his chest as he stroked her back whilst she collected herself.

After a few minutes Seph pulled away, looking at him.

“They aren’t disappointed in me?”

“Apparently not. They just seem to be fans of the tough love way of teaching.”

“I nearly…. ” Seph couldn’t say those words.

“Yes, but not just because of this Seph. You told me it was a number of issues that had caused you to feel that way. Yes, they didn’t help. But they didn’t know how it was affecting you did they?” he soothed.

“No. And if I tell them, it will break them.”

Knowing that their actions, however helpful they thought they’d been, had added to their only daughters near suicide attempt would tear them apart.

“Yes it will. So come back to the table and tell them about your plans. Tell them about Lila and show them the website that Helen and Penelope have created. Show them how much you’re fighting for this and tell them your business plans.”

Persephone nodded and let him lead her back to the table, her parents looking at her concerned.

Sitting back down, Seph plastered a grin onto her face.

“Do you want to see my website? Spencer and his friend set it up for me ready for later,” she asked them, suddenly feeling shy. 

“Yes, we do. And erm… Should we be expecting Helen’s resignation again anytime soon,” James father asked her, standing up to get his tablet computer from the coffee table. He was never too far away from it.

“I hope so Daddy. I hope so.”

He handed Seph the tablet, bending down and planting a kiss on the top of her head.

“Good. Because I won’t accept a retraction this time. Not without a full explanation from you, okay.”

“Okay. ”


	26. Chapter 26

“Hels?”

Spencer heard Seph call out to the tall blonde girl who was talking on her phone, her back turned to them both.

The girl ended her call and spun around, making the high pitched squealing noise that girls have a tenancy to make when she saw her friend. Her and Seph ran towards each other and embraced, both grinning wildly at each other.

“I’ve missed you so much Seph! And I’m so sorry to hear about that fucktard Edward. You derserve tons better than that bag of dicks.”

Spotting Spencer, she released Seph and approached him, recognising him from their Skype chats.

“Hello new friend! I feel like we should hug, can we hug?”

Spencer normally wasn’t that comfortable hugging strangers but he felt like he knew Helen from their chats and he greeted her with a quick hug. She was an extremely attractive girl, taller than the average girl she clocked in at around 5ft 10, towering above Seph who was tiny in the flat shoes she was wearing today. She was supermodel slim, with long blonde hair and had a face that definitely could launch a thousand ships, just like the Greek Helen of Troy had.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Helen,” Spencer told her warmly.

“Ditto. I did wonder about the mysterious stranger who came into my friends life and suddenly got her back on track. I’m sooo excited about tonight, I can’t believe that Lila Archer is going to be wearing your designs. I love her! And she’s so sweet to have wanted to help out with TDDQ.”

“She’s great Helen. And with her help, this has to work right?” Seph asked her.

“Definitely. The fashion pages love her style anyway. They’re always featuring her. Shall we go up?”

Seph looked around the lobby of the building Helen had told her to meet in. Spencer knew why they were here but she didn’t.

“Yes, let’s. I’m curious… ”

Helen led them over to the cargo elevator in the corner of the lobby and selected the floor they needed.

Spencer could sense Seph’s curiosity rolling off her, wondering why they were here.

They’d spent a few more hours with her parents after she’d dropped her bombshell that she wasn’t going to back to Lux, and her parents had dropped their equally explosive bombshell and had explained to her that they’d only been so harsh on her to encourage her.

Spencer personally thought that given her mental state, it had been a terrible technique. She’d needed actual encouragement from them, not faux guilt trips and threats of having her trust fund stopped. But, they didn’t know how she was truly feeling inside, they obviously just saw the girl who wanted something, but didn’t seem to be trying hard enough to get it. He could see why they’d done what they’d did, they wanted her to do this for herself the way the founders of Lux had, and as harsh as her father had been for berating her for giving up when Alex had died, he had been right. A successful business doesn’t stop functioning because of personal tragedy and Seph had needed to realise that.

Still, he was incredibly proud of her for standing up to them and the beams on their faces had told him that they were too. They’d spent the afternoon talking, Rhea and James Bella-Morte asking about her plans and them talking with Spencer about his job.

Whenever they asked how the two had met, Persephone had brushed over it, simply explaining that they had met in a bookshop in DC. Spencer could see Rhea looking at them and wondering what their true deal was and he wondered whether Seph would actually open up and come clean to her parents about the extent of her issues. As much as it would hurt them, it would benefit her to have them knowing what she’d been going through and having them support her. But that was Seph’s choice to tell them or not. He could see that inherently they were good people who clearly did care for their daughter a lot. As did Helen. Seph really didn’t seem to realise how many people she had that loved and cared for her.

They reached the floor they needed and Helen pushed the elevator cage open and led them out down a corridor and in through another set of double doors, which she had the keys for. They walked into a large open plan office space, huge windows and wooden floors made the space airy and light and with a some decoration and furniture, Spencer could picture the two girls surrounded by fabrics and dress makers dolls.

“I thought we could put up some partitioning walls over here and create an area for your VIP clients for Alexandra Dawning. And we could separate off the kitchenette too. We don’t want coffee and food smells permeating your clothes. There’s a bathroom as well over in the corner and I’ve seen some really great furniture we can buy. It’s not too expensive either. Oh and my cousin's boyfriend's sister, does some really awesome abstract artwork in her spare time. We could get her to make some huge canvasses for the walls to brighten it up.” The girl talked excitedly, moving from one area of the room to the next, dragging Seph with her as she filled her in on her vision for the space. Seph just listened, her mouth ajar as she took in her friends words.

“Helen.”

“And over here is where we could have the machines. There’s a service entrance as well as parking round the back. So we can pick up a cheap transit van for our materials and things and then we could.... ”

“HELEN!” Seph managed to interrupt her, her friend looking at her in surprise.

“Where are we? What is this place?” she asked her.

“Erm…. Headquarters for The Damned Dead Queen designs? If you like it of course. They’ll hold the space for us for two more weeks, I put down a deposit. That way we can judge how quickly the designs sell and if we need it or not. But given how many sales there were the last time Lila Archer promoted a new brand, I’m thinking we’ll sell out of the stock you’ve already got in no time. We can have this place fitted out within a week. I checked the original business plan you had and the part on the office ideas that we came up with, and we can still get most of the items really easily. And I still have money left over from the sale of my car. Oh! And the seamstresses all have their own machines that they’d bring. All but two of them could start straight away.”

“Headquarters… Offices.. Helen, you sold your car?” Seph was dumbfounded.

“Well yeah. And my resignation is all written out and ready to hand in. You still want me to be your assistant don’t you?” The girl looked fearful suddenly, that she’d misread things.

“You did all of this for me?”

“Yes. I believe in you Seph. You’re such an inspiration to me, starting your own business and everything and I want to be a part of it. You still want me don’t you?”

Seph walked across to her friend, her eyes filled with tears and she took her hands.

“I don’t want you to be my assistant Helen. I want you to be my business partner. An equal share of TDDQ. You’ve believed in this from the start. I can’t believe you’ve sold your car. You loved that thing.”

Helen grinned and shrugged. “Meh, I live in NYC. Who needs a Mercedes here anyway. And really…. You really want me as your partner? You’re the one with the brilliant mind and eye for designs. They’re your clothes.”

“But it’s your ideas and your enthusiasm that are making things take shape. I couldn’t do this without you Helen,” Seph looked over at Spencer and motioned for him to join then. She took his hand as well. “I couldn’t do this without any of you. Penelope and Lila included in that even though they’re not here.”

She sniffed back tears, ones Reid hoped were of happiness and not anything else.

“So do you like it? Is it okay? If not… We can find another place. This is just close to both of our buildings and my Mom knows the owner. She finalised his divorce for him so she’s negotiated a good rate for the first six months.”

Helen’s mom was a divorce lawyer, a very well paid one, hence how Helen could afford a Mercedes. It had been a present from her mother a few years back.

“I love it. And I love you, both of you, for everything you’ve done for me,” Seph pulled them in for a group hug, and Spencer caught sight of his watch.

“Ladies… I hate to ruin a moment but coverage of the red carpet starts in thirty minutes.”

They broke apart, smiling at each other.

“Let’s go!”


	27. Chapter 27

“I still can’t believe how amazing she looked. And she won as well. My dress was up on that stage!” Seph was quite literally bouncing, giddy with joy.

And a bottle of wine. But mostly joy.

She, Helen and Spencer had gone back to her apartment to watch the awards show, ordering take out and eating it on the couch in front of her huge flat screen TV.

Lila had worn Seph’s red evening dress, looking absolutely stunning and had worked the red carpet like a pro. When she’d been asked who she was wearing, she’d gone through great lengths to explain to the interviewers that it was a new brand and to give both names, stating that she’d be wearing designs from both brands that evening. The interviewers had commented on the design, complementing and fussing over it and Persephone had sat with the biggest grin on her face, Helen’s hand in hers.

When Lila had won her category and had strutted across the stage, both girls had squealed loudly. Not only were they pleased for Lila but a win generally meant more screen time and more interviews, meaning more opportunity for the dress to be mentioned.

Seph was happy. So ridiculously happy.

And a little buzzed because of the wine. Between the three, they’d sank four bottles during a three hour ceremony and the hours red carpet coverage.

Spencer had told them that Penny had set the website to go live after Seph’s birthday. People could visit it, but they wouldn’t be able to place orders for another two days time. That way it would give plenty of time for the general public to read the fashion pages of the tabloids and online blogs.

The ceremony was just ending and it was approaching eleven pm. Helen stood up, stretching and pulling her shoes on.

“You going?” Seph asked her, pouting.

“I am indeed. I still have to go in to work tomorrow. Although I’m on a half day to give me plenty of time to get ready for your party. Which reminds me…. Present!”

She dug into her large shoulder bag and pulled out two wrapped boxes and placing them both on the table. “You can’t open them until tomorrow alright.”

“Okay, thank you again Hels,” Seph grinned at her, the grin slighly sloppy.

“You’re very much welcome. Text me tomorrow, I’ll be abusing my internet privileges at work to check the fashion blogs. Maybe your Daddy will catch me and fire me!”

Persephone giggled at her, standing up and hugging her goodbye.

“Don’t worry, they’re expecting your resignation soon anyway. And they won’t accept a retraction this time.”

“Well they’re not bloody getting one either! This time next year Seph, trust me, we’ll be a success. Just wait.”

Seph hugged Helen again, promising to text her tomorrow. Helen said her goodbyes to Spencer before Seph followed her to the door and let her out.

Out of earshot of Spencer Helen turned.

“What’s the deal with you two anyway? He’s hot. And he’s putting a lot of effort into this for you. I don’t buy that you two are old friends, you’re comfortable with each other but not in that way. He’s new. Are you two….. ”

Seph rolled her eyes, the gesture making her feel slightly dizzy.

“No we’re not. And you’re right, he is hot. And you’re also right that he is a new friend. It’s a long and complicated story and I promise to tell you one day.”

“So you’re not…. Cos I totally would. I mean, if you’re not gonna. Can I?”

Persephone hit her friend playfully. “You can’t have him Hels. I don’t want you eating him up and spitting him out. I know what you’re like, you’ll break him.”

“I’d certainly try….. You sure that’s not the only reason you don’t want me to have him…..”

She knew exactly what Helen was getting at.

“Go home Helen! I’ll see you tomorrow. And thank you, again. For everything.”

Helen grinned and skipped out of the door which Seph swiftly locked behind her.

She strolled back into the sitting room and headed over to the liquor cabinet.

“Another drink?” she called out.

“Erm…. I kinda feel like we shouldn’t.”

“There’s plenty of things we shouldn’t do which we do,” Seph poured two tumblers of whiskey and took them over to the couch, sitting back down next to him.

She then found herself studying him as he drank, his dark eyes and plump pink lips. He really was attractive.

And he’d done so much for her over the past few weeks.

Seph recalled an earlier conversation with him where he’d admitted that he didn’t have girlfriends very often. And then her mind flicked back to her list.

Somehow in Seph’s semi drunk state, her brain decided that she should so something for him in return.

“Spencer?”

“Hmmm?” he paused mid sip, his tongue flicking out to taste the whiskey on his lips.

“You think I’m attractive, right?”

He coughed, a flush settling over his cheeks. When he realised that she being serious, he nodded.

“Attractive enough to sleep with?” Seph asked.

“W-what…?”

“Do you find me attractive enough to sleep with?”

“Why are you… Why are you asking me that?” he suddenly looked very uncomfortable, and if Seph was sober, she’d have changed the subject. But she wasn’t so she pushed.

“Because I think you’re very attractive. And although I know we’re officially no longer caring about the list, it would be a shame to completely discount two of those points don’t you think?”

Without waiting for his answer Seph pulled herself off the couch, standing in front of him. She gripped the bottom of her day dress, tugging it up and over her head, tossing it to one side.

‘What the hell?’ Spencer thought to himself, panicking slightly.

“Seph, what are you doing?”

His beautiful friend was standing in front of him, in her undergarments, a strange look in her eyes.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” she turned around slowly, a 360 on the spot.

Spencer caught sight of a tattoo he’d missed before, flowers and small birds down her spine disappearing into her leggings. He hadn’t paid any attention to her body when he’d found her in her underwear before, but now he couldn’t help but look.

“It looks… L-like you’re taking your clothes off,” he stuttered, wondering if he should put a stop to this.

He should, he definitely should. She’d been drinking and was still somewhat fragile.

“Because I am…..” She slipped her fingers into the waistband of her black leggings, bending over as she dragged them down her legs, stumbling as she stepped out of them.

Spencer leant forward, grabbing her hips to stop from falling flat on her face and she giggled, placing her hands over his and keeping them on her.

“Seph…..”

“Spencer…..” she cocked an eyebrow at him, moving her hands over his and sliding them up her stomach, stopping just shy of the curve of her breasts.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked her, conscious that if he said the wrong thing here, he could hurt her feelings. He was feeling buzzed too, and didn’t want certain feelings to overcome his sense.

“Because it’s nearly midnight. It’s nearly my birthday. I’ll cut down on the twenty four hours part of the point. I just want….. I want to feel desired by someone. I want to cross that off. Help me.”

“You want to have sex with me?”

“Gosh, for a genius you can be pretty dumb. Yes. I want to have sex with you. It’s just sex, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“But… But… ”

“Oh come on!” she scoffed. “I may have some self belief issues, but I know that I’m attractive. That’s one of the only things I’ve been sure of my entire life. People tell me often enough. Don’t try and tell me you don’t find me attractive.”

She pulled on his hand again, pushing one higher so it was cupping her breast.

Spencer’s breath caught, feeling the soft flesh beneath the lace of her bra. He’d be lying if he tried to tell himself that he didn’t think she was attractive. She was beautiful, stunning and looking at her body, fully taking her in, he could feel himself becoming aroused, cursing himself internally.

He didn’t want her like this though. Didn’t want to be just a tick on a list.

He looked up at her, seeing that she suddenly doubted herself, her eyes meeting his.

“Spencer…. Please? It’s just sex…..Tell me you want me.”

Oh god…. He did. But not this way.

But she looked so sad all of a sudden, rejected.

Shit.

If he did this , he felt like he’d be taking advantage of her. He did like Seph, a lot. A hell of a lot in fact, more than he’d let himself admit. This girl was special. But he didn’t want to risk the friendship he’d cultivated with her, the friendship built from his need to save her, which had grown into something more.

If he didn’t do this, then he’d be insulting her, rejecting her and making her feel terrible. She was asking for his help. And he’d promised her from the beginning that he’d help her.

He didn’t know which was worse.

Taking a deep breath, he pulled her towards him, wondering how much he’d hate himself in the morning.


	28. Chapter 28

Pulling Seph onto his lap he ran his hands up and down her back, feeling the slightly raised texture of her tattoo that trailed down her spine.

She adjusted herself, her knees either side of his thighs and her hand going to his hair. Her skin was warm and soft to his touch and he let himself enjoy the sensation of feeling a woman’s body against his. An extremely beautiful woman’s body.

Seph lowered her head, grinding against his thighs as she did and earning a groan from him. She started peppering his neck with kisses, her lips like butterflies over his skin. Her hands searched for his shirt, locating the buttons and making quick work of undoing them, placing her hands flat against his bare chest when she was done.

She kissed along his jaw line, her fingertips ghosting up and down his torso and making him shudder. Stopping her mouth just shy of his lips, she pulled back, appraising him with her gaze.

“You do want me, right? You’re going to help me tick that box?” she asked quietly.

“Yes, I want you. And yes, we’ll tick that box, if that’s what you want,” Spencer told her. It was true, he did. He’d probably never tell her how much he actually wanted her, but that doing this just to tick a box, was NOT what he wanted. But he couldn’t tell her no.

Satisfied with his answer, she reached her hands behind her back and unclasped her bra, pulling the straps down her arms and discarding it on the floor.

Spencer’s eyes immediately went to her chest, her full breasts as pale as the rest of her body save for the pink centres, the sensitive flesh there already puckered and hardened. He caught sight of the metal bar that skewered one nipple, small silver balls at either end, and his hand moved to touch it, not being able to help himself.

She giggled at his curiosity and then gasped as his fingertips grazed over the flesh there, wriggling on his lap at his touch.

Fuck…

The noise that had left her throat ignited something inside him and he reached up, pulling her face down to his and crashing his lips to hers, forgetting his reservations.

Spencer’s kiss was hard and full of passion, his lips moving quickly against Seph’s. She matched his pace, moving against his lap, feeling him hard beneath her. She tilted her head and parted her lips, feeling him do the same and slipping her tongue out to meet his. His hands roamed her body, stopping at Seph’s breasts and cupping them, massaging them, her nipples hard against his palms.

He’d been reluctant to begin with, she’d been able to tell. Persephone could understand why, he probably thought that this would change things between them and that he’d be taking advantage of her in her less than stable mental state.

He’d relented though, giving into her wants.

This wouldn’t change things, it was just sex. An early birthday present, she thought and she smiled against his mouth thinking about it like that. She ground against his thigh, harder than before and feeling a low groan vibrating through his lips.

Spencer moved his hands, holding Seph’s waist as he shifted their positions, lowering her to the couch and slotting his body in at the side, his back to the cushions.

Pulling away from her lips, he looked down at her body, Seph suddenly feeling slightly exposed and worried that he wouldn’t like what he saw. She had tattoos and a piercing, she didn’t think that he’d be into that, although he hadn’t balked at the stud. Instead he’d caressed it gently, his touches sending shivers through her.

His hands ran down her stomach and over Seph’s high waisted lace underwear. He seemed nervous himself too, his hand trembling oh so slightly as he grazed the tops of her thighs.

Reaching up Seph smoothed his hair that was falling back, so that she could see his eyes, his beautiful hazel eyes that could convey such a wide range of emotions.

“Kiss me again,” she whispered, tugging on his head and pulling him back down, her lips capturing his.

This kiss was slower, less full of passion and desire and more soft and gentle.

“You’re so beautiful, Persephone,” he murmured, pulling his lips away a few millimetres, his breath tickling her skin.

“So are you Spencer Reid,” Seph whispered back, not feeling at all strange telling a man he was beautiful, because he was. Inside and out. She kissed him again, her hands caressing his cheek as his own hand dragged over her underwear. She wanted this so badly, it had been so long since she’d allowed herself to be touched by another person.

Yet as Persephone moved her lips against his, Spencer’s teeth grazing against hers in tiny nips that were doing so much for her right now, she realised that this was wrong.

Shit.

She’d started this though, she couldn’t just change her mind now.

But she had to.

“Spencer, stop. Please,” Seph gently pushed his face away, seeing alarm as she stilled his hand with your own.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Oh god, I’m sorry.” Spencer looked like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

He hadn’t done anything wrong, she had.

“Shhh, don’t apologise,” she told him softly, her hand still on his face. “I shouldn’t have started this. It’s my fault.”

“No no no, I shouldn’t have let you. I should have said no. But…. Oh god I’m sorry Seph, I did want to. Even though I knew we shouldn’t, it would have changed everything.”

And that was it. As much as she’d told herself it was only sex, it would change the whole dynamic of their relationship.

As clichéd as it sounded, Seph didn’t want to just fuck Spencer Reid. She wanted to love him, to make love with him. But there was no way she was ready for that yet.

“I wanted to as well,” she assured him. “But not like this. I don’t want to do this to tick a box, not anymore. I wanna do it because we both want to, because we want it to mean something.”

“That's how I feel too,” he spotted his shirt and reached to grab it, laying it over Seph’s chest and covering her up. “In three weeks, you’ve become one of my closest friends. I don’t want to throw that away because of one night. But I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. And…..and I do, I do like you Seph. A lot.”

“Good,” she whispered, pulling him close so that she could hug him, his arms wrapping around her, his shirt now acting as a barrier between their skin. “I like you too Spence. Also, a lot. And not just because of everything you’ve done for me.

“You do?” his words came out muffled, his head nuzzled into her neck.

“I do. But now’s definitely not right, and I’m so sorry for making this awkward.”

“Its fine. We’re fine,” he pulled away to look at you. “It’s not everyday I get to have a gorgeous girl, naked in my arms.” He chuckled and Seph laughed with him, the atmosphere broken.

“Spence…. Maybe in a few months we could revisit this again? You know, if that’s what you want.” Nerves made Seph’s voice crack in the middle of her sentence.

“I’d like that. In a few months.”

They both knew that she meant when she’d gotten to a much better place and had reorganised her thoughts and feelings. The feelings Seph had for him wouldn’t change though, she knew that now. In such a small period of time he’d gotten under her skin, become her confidant, her reason. Not her reason for living, but a reason to try and make the best out of herself because he had shown her that people did care. She’d be happy simply having him as a friend for the rest of her life, but now there was that admittance that there was something more between them. And hopefully in time, they’d be able to explore that something, more.

“Seph.” Spencer broke her train of thought, pointing at the clock on her wall. “Happy birthday.”


	29. Chapter 29

When Seph woke up the next morning she was wrapped in Spencer’s arms, being spooned from behind.

They’d retired to bed shortly after their little misadventure on the couch, stopping before she’d walked through her door and asking him to come with her.

“No more funny business, I promise. I’d just…. really like to wake up next to you whilst I still can. It’s going to be weird not having you with me twenty four hours a day.”

“I know, I’m not quite sure what I’ll do. I’ve gotten used to having you around and having the constant company, which is odd because I’m normally very happy in my own company.”

They’d given each other sad smiles at the realisation that their lives would soon be returning to normal, before climbing into Seph’s huge king size bed and settling down for the night.

At some point in their slumber they rolled next to other and now he was comfortably entwined around her body.

Seph lay there enjoying the feeling of being cuddled for a while before she felt him begin to stir.

When he realised he was spooning her, he went to move but she stilled him.

“No. Spencer, stay. I missed being cuddled like this. It’s nice.”

“It IS nice. I just thought you might find it weird after last night that all,” he whispered sleepily.

“No weirdness at all. I’m good, if you’re good with it.”

“I’m good. What’s the plan for today anyway?” he adjusted his arms slightly.

“Erm…. Get up. Get breakfast. Open whatever gifts have turned up. Read the gossip columns…. Then get ready and go to my party.”

The columns, the papers. Seph leaned out of bed and grabbed her phone, seeing it flashing with notifications.

Texts from Helen. Opening them Seph saw that she’d posted links. She was obviously hard at work today…

Clicking through them Persephone couldn’t believe the things she was reading.

All of the fashion blogs had commented on Lila’s dresses, photos of her at the after party surfacing as well. The comments were amazing, people wondering who this designer was.

The last text Helen sent had read, “I’ve spoken to Penelope. The website has already had traffic. It’s had over nine hundred hits since last night, and the Alexandra Dawning email box already has emails requesting appointments for consultations.”

Persephone couldn’t stop grinning, rolling over to face her bed partner who had a huge smile on his face too.

“This is all because of you,” she told him.

“It’s really not. You’d have got there eventually, if you’d have kept trying.”

Seph didn’t comment. They both knew he was saying that because he was meant to. They both knew the truth, that it really was because of him. If he hadn’t have found her that night, then none of this would have happened. Because Seph wouldn’t be around for it to happen to.

But now, she was glad he had found her.

It was a cliché to say that she’d been saved by a man. But she had. Not by his love. She weren’t forcing herself to live for him. He’d shown her though, that the kindness of a stranger could completely change a person’s life.

Seph thought back to her list, wondering if she’d ever complete it, realising that it didn’t really matter anymore.

She’d made that list when she was fifteen, what did it matter that Alex had completed most of hers? 

What mattered now was that Seph was trying. She was going to try to live her life to the fullest and embrace opportunities that came her way. She WAS going to stand up for what she wanted, however afraid she might be.

“Shall we get up and find something to eat for breakfast. I need to soak up the remains of the wine from last night.”

“Yes, we shall.”

…

The rest of the morning had been spent trawling through the online tabloids, Seph and Spencer grinning with each complimenting comment.

Packages arrived throughout the morning, Thomas the doorman, ringing up with each delivery and soon Persephone’s living room was filled with bouquets of flowers, gift bags and boxes, cards.

She only opened the ones who she knew who they were from, the rest could wait she’d told him.

Helen’s gift had been a wall plaque bearing the company design logo and Seph’s name. She’d also gotten her a desk plaque, one of those triangular prism shaped things that bore her name and title as CEO.

Seph had nearly cried seeing them, still unbelieving at the amount of faith Helen had in her.

There had been an extra emotional moment at lunch time. Rhea and James had arrived, with Alex’s Mom, Dad and brother who had flown into the city especially.

Seph had cried then, when Alex’s Mom had told her how proud Alex would be of her. They’d hugged tightly, both women crying and Rhea Bella-Morte dabbing away tears herself. Even Spencer had to admit that he felt choked up.

The parents had left a while after leaving the two to get ready for the party, Seph disappearing into her bedroom and emerging two hours later looking like a goddess.

Her dress was classic grecian style, except that it was black, with fabric that flowed freely around her legs, gathering at her bust. There was gold detailing on the shoulders and at her chest where the dress was clinched in, emphasising her curves without hugging them. If it were white, Spencer could have imagined her walking down an aisle in it.

When she turned around the dress was low at the back, but the soft fabric split at her shoulders, flowing down almost like a train on a wedding dress. She had gold bracelets on each wrist and when she moved her arms, Spencer could see that the material that streamed from the shoulders, was actually attached. It was like she had wings. Her hair was half pinned back, a gold head band weaved into her hair like a crown, and her make up was flawless.

“You look breathtaking,” Spencer told her, barely able to believe that this beautiful creature was one of his friends.

“You looked pretty breathtaking yourself Spencer Reid.”

He felt himself blush slightly. He’d dressed for the occasion, bringing with him and wearing the only tux he owned. He felt overdressed right now, but he knew that he’d probably be one of the most underdressed people at the party.

“Did you make that dress?” he asked her.

She hesitated before answering, “Yes, I did. It was the last dress I made, it was the last dress I was going to ever make. I made it specifically for tonight.”

It was the dress she was going to wear to kill herself in, Spencer realised. She didn’t need to say anything more.

“It’s beautiful. Like you are.”

“Thank you. I wasn’t sure whether to wear it, because of what it signified to me. But now, I guess it signifies my decision to carry on. If I’d have had time. I’d have liked to have changed the material of the sleeves, to reds and oranges and purples. Fire colours.”

“Like a phoenix, rising from the ashes.”

She grinned at him, pleased he’d understood.

“Exactly. A phoenix reborn from her ashes. Ready to set the world on fire.”

“Well, perhaps we should start with setting your party on fire.”

“Perhaps we should.”

…

Seph’s party flew by.

For the most part Reid had felt uncomfortable. Seph and Helen were the only people he really knew. Her parents had gone out of their way to speak with him though, Rhea still looking at him somewhat curiously.

He recognised many of the faces at the party, none of whom he actually knew in person. He knew them from the business pages of newspapers, articles online.

Many of Seph’s family were there as well, them hugging and kissing her, wishing her a happy birthday and then looking at Spencer wondering who he was.

Her ex fiance hadn’t made an appearance, although Persephone had said that she’d been in contact with him, agreeing to meet up with him and to put their relationship officially to bed with no aminiosity between them.

After dinner, there’d been speeches, her father informing the room that it was with regrets that his only child would not be following in his footsteps at Lux, the room going quiet at first. Then he’d explained how proud he was that Persephone wouldn’t be following him because she was setting out on her own personal business adventure and that he and the board of Lux wished her every piece of success. His eyes had shone with pride as images of Lila at last night’s awards ceremony in Seph’s dresses had been displayed on a projector screen for all to see, the crowd ooohing and ahhhing, breaking into a round of applause and calling for a speech from the birthday girl herself.

Seph had blushed and looked uncomfortable for a moment, before searching for Helen and dragging her up to the microphone with her. She introduced Helen as her business partner and talked about how she couldn’t wait to see what new opportunities would be waiting for them. Finding Spencer’s face in the crowd, she smiled directly at him and publicly thanked him for his encouragement and involvement.

Once the speeches were over, James and Rhea had pulled their daughter to one side to present her with their birthday gift. Two envelopes. Seph had beckoned for Reid to join her when she opened them, reading through the pieces of paper she pulled out, a confused look on her face.

She handed the pages to Spencer, him quickly scanning the words.

“I don’t understand,” she looked at her parents.

“I do,” Spencer told her. “It’s unrestricted access to your trust fund. Your parents are transferring the money to you for you to use as you see fit, no conditions attached. It’s yours to do with what you want.”

“Mum, Dad. Is this right?” she asked quietly.

“Yes,” James took his daughter's hand. “We can no longer threaten to cut you off. The money is yours. Do with it what you wish.”

“What if I don’t want it? I wanted to do this without your money.”

“Then give it to charity. We will not judge you or hold anything against you. As a Bella-Morte, it’s what you’re entitled to. We will no longer hold onto it and ration it out as we had been. Spend it, save it, give it away. We don’t care. We’re proud of you Sephie,” Rhea told her.

Spencer scanned the second document. “They’ve paid the first years rent on the office space Helen found.”

“That’s your official present from us. I know you want to do it alone but it’s your thirtieth. We had to do something big for it. And Helen has been released from her position immediately, although we’ll pay her notice period too.”

Seph hugged her parents tightly, holding on to them for a long time.

When she finally pulled away she was sniffing again, but smiling.

“Okay! Enough tears and crying for today. Spencer Reid, as it’s my birthday, I demand you dance with me.”

He’d wanted to argue but couldn’t and they spent the next hour dancing together, relatives cutting in every so often to have a dance with the birthday girl.

At around eleven, Seph disappeared with Helen to the ladies, Helen returning alone after ten minutes.

“Where is she?” Reid asked her, concerned.

“Oh she’s just a little overwhelmed. She’s gone up the roof terrace to get some air and to cool down. She said she needed to do something up there too. I asked if she wanted me to come with her but she said she needed to do it alone. I think it’s got to her a little that her best friend isn’t with her on her big day.”

Roof terrace.

The top of the building.

“Helen, I need your security fob to get up there. I need to find her.”


	30. Chapter 30

Seeing the worry on Spencer’s face Helen quickly searched through her bag and handed him her keys.

“What’s wrong? Do you need me to come with you?”

“No it’s fine. How do I get up there?” Spencer presumed that not everyone would have access to the roof space.

“It’s employee access only. There’s an elevator off the end of this corridor. Just press the fob into the slot at the side of the keypad and it’ll then let you select the top floor. Turn left when you come out of the elevator and they’ll be a door marked ‘roof terrace, restricted’. Use the fob again and it’ll let you out.”

Reid thanked her and dashed out, following Helen’s instructions and eventually coming out onto a flat terrace which had tables and chairs bolted down, the glittering lights of the neighbouring buildings surrounding. It was a nice space actually, one for the employees to use on a summers day or if they needed to escape.

He searched around, looking for Seph and dreading what he might find.

Spencer spotted her, leaning against a railing at the edge of the roof. She was on the safe side of the barriers.

Thank God.

“Persephone?” He called out, not wanting to alarm her.

She turned, her hair catching in the wind, the wings of her dress billowing out behind her.

“Hey,” she responded to him, a small smile on her face. There was a black trail down her cheeks and her make up was smudged. She’d been crying.

“Can I…..?” he motioned to her, wanting her permission to come over and join her. He still wasn’t sure what was happening but he didn’t like the fact that she was up here, alone, on the day she said she was going to kill herself.

She nodded and he quickly moved to her side, seeing a piece of folded paper in her hands.

“Are you okay?”

“No. But I’ll be okay,” she told him.

“I was worried when Helen came back alone and said you were up here.”

“I’m sorry. I needed a few minutes alone. I wanted to do something.”

“What?”

She appraised her friend with her eyes before unfolding the piece of paper in her hands. Spencer recognised it as her list.

“I wanted to do this.” She started to rip the paper into tiny shreds. “I don’t need this. I don’t need a list to tell me what I should have completed by this point in my life. I’m going to be happy with the fact that I’m still here, when other people aren’t.”

When all she had left in her hands was a pile of tiny paper flakes, she leaned over the barrier and scattered them.

Spencer watched as they fell, some of them catching on a breeze and being carried away, others falling straight down. With this being New York he knew that wherever they fell, they wouldn’t last long before they were consumed by the city.

“I’m proud of you, Persephone. She would be too,” he didn’t need to say her name.

“I know.” She looked sad again but quickly shook it away. “Do I look a mess?”

“Never to me. But you might want to redo your make up before you go back in.”

“I take it I resemble a panda?”

“A beautiful one if that helps.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Spencer Reid. Let’s go. It’s getting cold.”

Spencer shrugged off his jacket quickly, pulling out a folded envelope of his own from the inner pocket. He placed the jacket around her shoulders carefully.

“Actually, could we stay for a few minutes. I wanted to give you your birthday present.”

“You got me a present? After everything you’ve already done for me, I can’t accept gifts from you. I should be giving YOU things.”

“You have, kind of. It’s weird but since I’ve met you I’ve felt more alive than I have in a while. It’s not just me that’s been helping you, you’ve been helping me without even realising it. And, technically this gift is for both of us. If you want it to be of course. The names and the dates can be changed.”

He handed her the envelope nervously. Would she like it? Would she even still want to do it, she’d just torn her list up after all.

She opened it, holding carefully onto the paper in the breeze and reading it.

“Peru.”

She read further.

“You’ve booked us on an adventure tour to hike the Inca Trail, for my birthday next year. Spencer…… ”

She was lost for words, something Spencer had never managed to do to a woman.

“Is it…. okay? You don’t have to take me. You can take Helen, or someone else. You don’t even have to go if you don’t want to anymore. I just….”

She cut off his rambles, standing on her tip toes and wrapping her arms around his neck, his jacket starting to slip of her shoulders. Spencer caught it before it could fall off completely and embraced her back.

“There’s no one else in the world that I’d rather do this with,” she whispered into his ear.


	31. Chapter 31

**Two years later**

“Guys, we need to get going if we want to get to the Sun Gates before sunrise.”

The group leader rallied the fourteen of them together, and they all began the final hike of the four day trek.

“Are you excited?” Spencer asked as he helped Seph shrug her back pack back on.

“Very. I’m also extremely excited to be able to have a bath and to sleep in an actual bed tonight.”

“I echo your sentiment.”

The trip was enjoyable so far, the scenery was breathtaking, quite literally so due to the altitude they were at. The group they were trekking with were good fun, and everyone was making the effort to help each other long. Even the fittest members of the group had struggled at some parts.

And although it was a struggle it was one that Seph was going to look back on with fond memories, even though right now it felt like her feet were going to drop off. She had blisters upon blisters and despite the fact that their back packs weren’t as heavy as they could be due to the trip including porters, she still felt as though she’d been lugging rocks around for four days.

Luckily she’d had the foresight to book into a five star hotel in Cusco for some well needed relaxation at the end of the trip. A full body massage was definitely in order.

The groups leader started moving, the rest of the pack following him slowly and as Persephone fell into line, she reflected on the last two years, the journey that had bought her here.

Since Lila Archer had worn her designs, the business had kick-started faster than Seph or Helen could have imagined. She’d had to delay this trip already as they’d simply been to busy to have any time off last year. Seph had been tempted to delay again but Helen had told her no, she needed a holiday.

She’d been right, they’d both worked nonstop although a lot of it didn’t even seem like working. When she was doing something she loved, it made getting up each day to go to work enjoyable.

The client base for The Damned Dead Queen grew and grew as did the list of celebrities who had requested hand made couture designs from the Alexandra Dawning range. Persephone knew she’d made it when she’d taken a call from a certain Stefani Germanotta requesting she design a dress for her performance at the Academy Awards earlier this year.

Seph had done it.

Achieved her dream of creating her own design label, her own successful business.

And now she was celebrating by taking the trip of a lifetime with one of her best friends.

Seph and Spencer were still, just friends. Despite their confessions the night before her birthday two years ago, their relationship hadn’t changed in status. This didn’t bother Seph as such, she was too busy to let it be a issue, but sometimes she did wonder.

But it had to be the right time to take the next step, and they both seemed content with where they were right now.

Seph didn’t get to see Spencer Reid as often as she’d have liked to. Between his job and her business, she had very little free time, although now her army of workers had grown and Seph was able to delegate more, she and Helen were finding that they were actually getting time to sit down and relax a bit more.

She’d only managed to see him in person a handle of times each year, but she still spoke to him at least once a day whether by text, call or even Skype.

When Seph had postponed last year’s trip she could tell he’d been disappointed, thinking it was perhaps something they’d never end up doing, or that she’d changed her mind about doing it with him. But after a two hour long Skype session, Seph had convinced him she definitely DID still want to, whether it took her another five years.

There’d been moments between them when they had met in person. Fleeting glances, lingering looks, hugs that lasted longer than they should have done. And neither really dated either. Were they holding on for each other? She didn’t know.

Seph stumbled slightly on the trail, Spencer’s hands reaching out from behind to steady her.

“You okay?” he asked as she righted herrself and carried on up the dark trail.

“Yep. This trip is definitely showing me how clumsy I am.”

He laughed as did the woman in front of them. The whole group had been witness to Seph’s many stumbles and falls, everyone surprised that she hadn’t managed to break her ankle yet.

Seph carried on at a steady pace, thinking how proud Alex would be of her for doing this. How proud she’d be of everything Seph had achieved.

Thinking about her still made Persephone sad, that feeling would never go away. But like a lot of the different thoughts and feelings she’d experienced over her life, she was learning to deal with them better.

She was still on antidepressants, and had been since two days after her thirtieth birthday, although it had taken a while for her doctor to get the dosage right. Seph’s therapy sessions had been cut down to once a month now rather than once a week, although a lot of the time it didn’t even feel like therapy, just that she was going to have a chat for an hour.

Bad days still happened. But they were fewer and farther in between the good days. Seph’s moods have levelled out somewhat due to the combination of the therapy and the medication and when she felt the darkness start to overcome her like it had it the past, it no longer consumed her completely. She was going to live with the depression her whole life, there was no magic cure. It didn’t matter how much Seph achieved or how happy she actually was, it was just the way her brain was wired. But she could cope better, much better.

Eventually Persephone had come clean to her parents as well, and Helen. Both had been devastated when she’d told them how bad it had been, her parents blaming themselves for being so hard on her. She’d assured them that it wasn’t just them, it had been a number of issues, but it had hurt her profusely to see the pain in their eyes when they realised how much they’d added to her feelings of failure.

Once they’d come to terms with it, both them and Helen became part of Seph’s support network. Helen started to be able to sense when she wasn’t feeling right and she’d bring her a cup of herbal tea, lock the doors to her office and wrap her arms around Seph. That girl was a complete angel, both her and Spencer becoming Seph’s rocks, people she could lean on no matter what. They didn’t judge Seph or tell her what she were feeling was right or wrong. They just listened. She was forever thankful for the pair of them, knowing that she wouldn’t be the person she was today without their help.

“We’re almost there guys,” the group leader called back from the front of line. “When we get to the Sun Gates, we’ll find a spot to rest and hopefully, if it’s not too cloudy we’ll get a perfect view of the sun rising over the mountain.”

The group carried on, finally reaching the stone gates at the top of the mountain and joining the other groups that were already there. The trip was popular, although luckily permit based so only a set amount of people could travel it a day and not ruin it with over crowding.

The guide gave some facts and information about the sun gates, details Seph had already heard countless times from the walking encyclopedia that was her best friend. When he stopped speaking, the sky was starting to tinge pink and the group split up, everyone trying to find the perfect vantage point to see the sun light up the ruins below.

Persephone and Spencer found a moss covered rock that hadn’t been claimed and sat down shoulder to shoulder to wait for the breathtaking view that they’d been waiting for, the shadow of the ruins slowly starting to disappear as the sun made its way across the sky.

There was a silence up on the mountain, only the sounds of cameras clicking. It seemed everyone was so taken with wanting to see this moment of beauty, one most people would never experience again, and Seph heard gasps as the ruins finally made their appearance, the sun rising and lighting them up.

“Wow…. ” she breathed out.

“I know…. Just… Wow,” Spencer’s gaze was following hers.

“I can’t believe we’re here. After everything, we did it. We’re here.”

“We are. We’re here. Together.” Spencer glanced at Seph quickly, grinning from ear to ear.

Together.

Yes, they were here together. She was sat with the man who’d saved her two years ago by showing that a complete stranger could change a life completely.

That stranger who had become such an important part of her, so important that Seph could never imagine him not being in her life.

She turned to him, squinting in the morning sun and finding his hand, taking it into her own and squeezing it.

“I love you Spencer Reid, you know that right?”

It wasn’t so much of a question as it was a statement. He had to know really.

“I love you too, Persephone Bella-Morte.”

Seph reached her hand out and brushed away a lock of hair that had fallen over his eyes, wondering if this would be the right moment to change things.

His eyes looked into hers and at the same time, both of them started to close the gap between their lips, knowing that it finally was.


End file.
